Monday, May 29, 2006

The Guru Of Love

Sixth grade. It was a new school year and my attraction to girls was full blown. I remember walking into the classroom and noticing how well developed my female counterparts were and thinking to myself maybe some one will want to hold my hand this year. Then I notice most of the girls are staring at this light skinned curly haired boy sitting in the back. Me being an oppurtunist and no dummy sat down next to his ass. " Hey you look familiar where do I know you from" Curly haired boy responds " I don't know" and continues to chat up the girls. Then it hits me. This dude is not a new kid. He was in this very classroom the year before. None of the other kids seem to notice or care so I kept my mouth shut and befriended him. You know how that old saying goes if you can't beat em join em.

Couple of years go by . We're in the 8th grade now. Since being dark skinned wasn't in. Good n Plenty and myself stuck to Curly haired boy like glue . He was a chick magnet !!! Fat firls, skinny girls, older girls all wanted a piece of pretty ricky. What he didn't want Good n Plenty and myself were happy to pick up the scraps. It was a perfect marriage he made us popular with the girls we helped him with his home work. We didn't want his ass to get left back again!!! That would ruin our hustle!! So we made sure he kept a B average.

That year our class took a trip to Washington D.C. I had a crush on this girl named Chip Tooth. This trip was my chance to express my undying love for her. SIKE!!!! I just wanted to feel her up on the bus ride to D.C. Anyway when we get there I notice everyone gets off the bus except Chip Tooth and Curly haired boy. So my nosy ass goes back on . I LOOK !!! Curly Haired Boy and Chip Tooth are going at it. He's on top of her, her tongue is in his mouth. I'm fuming!!!!! I wanted to run over and pull his ass off her, but instead I leave quietly. Me being the hater that I am told my teacher they were still on the bus. THATS RIGHT !!! Thats what Curly Haired Boy gets for liking the same girl I liked.

We graduate. I end up going to some prestigous High School and getting myself kicked out, Good n Plenty becomes this big time High School Football and Basketball star , and Curly Haired Boy just fell through the cracks. His family didn't have the money to send him to a Catholic high school so he ended up going to public school. A few years later he drops out and moved to Atlanta with his family. Good n Plenty and myself never heard from him again.


1992 I'm at a house party in money earnin Mt Vernon. Good n Plenty and myself are chilling drinking cervezas. Door bell rings. Our host opens the door and greets these two dudes. One I know from high school the other OOOOOOH SHIIIIIT!!!! I slap Good N Plenty in the back of the head and say " Nigga look!!!!" Good N Plenty looks and says " Hell naw!!! is that Curly Haired Boy !!! I say " Sure looks like him" I walk over to Curly Hair and say " Ya Know. I still haven't forgiven you for sticking your tongue down Chip Tooth's throat" Curly haired looks and his eyes light up " SLIIIIIIISH!!!!! he looks over my shoulder and sees Good n Plenty " PLEEEEENTY!!! I haven't seen you guys since high school. What a small world." I say " So what you been up to man!!! Curly Haired Man " Yooo. I joined the airforce then got myself kicked out !!! I say " How" Curly haired Man " Got mad and shot a gun at some cat so they put me out" Me and Good N Plenty start laughing I say " Your pretty boy ass shot a gun at somebody. Thats classic " Curly Haired Man pulls his wallet out of his back pocket and says "Check this out" He shows us a picture of a baby female version of himself. I say " You have a son?" Good N Plenty starts laughing Curly haired Man responds " Asshole thats my new born daughter, but I do have a son " I respond " DAAAAYUUM nigga you ain't even 25 you got 2 kids already!!!! That must be the puerto rican in you. Curly haired Man responds " How many times I gotta tell you I'M NOT PUERTO RICAN I'M BLACK" I laugh and respond " So you say. Yo mama hiding something!!!! Truth be told Curly Haired Man never new his daddy.

So we're all reconnected now and became The 3 amigos again . Curly Haired Man still has his mojo but that shit came at a price. That nigga got bored with women quick. His second baby mama stayed calling my ass looking for that trifling negro. I rememeber one time Curly was bold enough to have the next chick pick him up from his baby mama's house while he was still living there. He was off the chain. Baby Mama eventually got tired of it and put him out. Yours truly had to help him move NOT ONCE but several times.

Good N Plenty and Myself started to notice when it came to women Curly Haired Man was extreeemly unstable. He'd meet a chick, wife her in less than two weeks even move in . Once he got bored all hell would break loose . He would leave these women broken and confused. Did he care ? NO!!!! did we talk to him about it? NO!!! Shiiiiit we thought it was comedy. Then we hit our thirties and that shit wasn't funny anymore.

Curly Haired Man had met a much younger woman than himself. In less than a month she was pregnant with his third child. He did the usual and moved her into his crib. Now I give him credit he stuck it out for about 2 years. Then he got bored and when Curly Haired Man gets bored with women he can become dismissive, agressive, and just down right rude. He had ole girl in tears daily, calling her fat ( mind you she just had a baby) , he's not sexually attracted to her, she's stupid etc etc etc but Third baby mama loved Curly Haired Man and would not leave him so he moved out and came to live with me.

Every night Third baby mama is callng my apt looking for Curly haired Man, but he was never home. I started to get suspicious because the whole time I assumed he was with her. One night Curly haired Man decides to make an appearance. I say " Yo Curly where you been these past couple of days. Your baby mama been calling here looking for you" Curly haired Man responds " I been hanging out with a friend" I say " What friend and I hope she has titties ? " he starts laughing and responds " I met this chick at work. YO!!!! I'm really feeling her too" Here we go again I respond " Let me guess you've known her two weeks " Curly says" Yeah how you know that?" I respond " I didn't. I know you. Thats your M.O meet a chick, wife her in two weeks, get bored in two months, and bounce" Curly Haired Man " This is different. I'm really feeling this woman. I respond " You said that about Second Baby Mama and Third Baby mama. You haven't even broken up with Third Baby Mama already you talking about getting serious with this woman you just met. Curly you always do this man! You move too fast. Once that new feeling is gone YOU'RE GONE!!!! C mon !! Don't do this ! Curly Haired Man responds " Slish I respect what you're saying and I love you like a brother for keeping it real. BUT!!! I've never felt this strongly about a woman. You don't feel what I feel. Two weeks later Curly Haired Man broke up with Third Baby Mama and moved in with that woman.

Good N Plenty and I were counting the days. We were sure Curly would get bored with his new lady Fina . Months went by, then a year not once did he try and leave or cheat. I noticed a certain calm about Curly too. Don't get me wrong his ass was still moody, but somehow Fina was able to manage Curly's kind of insanity. She was able to do what most of his ex's could not. Fina took the time to study, nurture and helped my boy mature. After a while I embraced this new relationship and encouraged him in any way I could.

2003 The day Finally Came. Curly Proposed to Fina. It was a beautiful wedding. Fina was glowing. I never saw Curly so Happy. He had found the ying to his yang. 2 1/2 years later they added a baby boy to the mix. Curly Haired Man was finally getting the chance to become the kind of father he always wanted to be.

Now Bloggers have you figured out who Curly is. You read the profound comments he leaves on my Blog. Curly Haired Man is Grantlove!!!! His knowledge came from years of ups, downs and child support payments. He wasn't always the Guru of love. Just goes to show you how one woman can a change a man.

Now its my turn ...

29 Comments:

Blogger So...Wise...Sista said...

Hold. Up.
As I was reading (great story by the way), my mouth was watering to psychoanalyze this dude...daddy issues, moving around, etc... Until you revealed who he was. I have seen his comments on your blog...particularly the gem about chivalry. Call me shortsighted, but I just can't imagine that's the same dude you just described. Wow. But I guess he kept getting "bored" bec he wasn't finding what he was looking for...

So now I patiently await a response from the man of the hour.

But damn Curly...you knew Slishy was hot for Chip Tooth and still slobbed her down?? lol

11:56 AM  
Blogger ChezNiki said...

I thought it was GrantLove!...Well at first I thought it was Will...but then you said he got married and just had a baby.

Its a beautiful story but as a daughter of a bored man, I wonder how the babymamas (and their children) survived the aftermath.

Your turn?!? Your turn for what?!?!? I think Slasher may have a couple more years left on him, but um Good Luck with that!

2:35 PM  
Blogger PhillyLive said...

Slish, I was clueless. I did not know who the fuck you was talking about. You mean to tell that Grantlove was wild and crazy back in the day?? That cat seems to cool for that?? He strikes me as a even tempered person from the way he writes and responds to your posts... He's a very knowledgeable cat. But I guess experience is the best teacher...

As for you, we had this converstation before about the men in our family and how we or should I say they do... I'll keep that between us. But on some real shit, I think I'll beat you to the alter dogg. But I'll be there for you when that day happens cousin...

And YO!!! Its crazy how we became so close over the last few years.. Because grow'n up, I always thought you was a clown. I guess sometimes perception is not reality... Your alright wit me Big/Little Cousin Slish...

4:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, Slish IS a clown...


Mr. Music

5:05 PM  
Blogger Mr.Slish said...

@ So Wise Its the same dude. Grant Love wanted me to write it.He did not want the blog world to think all his knowledge about life, love and happiness came naturally to him. He's come a long way..I'm proud to be his boy.

@ Chez I've only met Will once...lol So admit you were surprised when I revealed Curl Haired Man was GrantLove...lol As for the Baby Mama Drama I will let GrantLove respond to that line of questioning.

@ Philly Thats shit is ill right!!!, GrantLove was a wild boy!!! Don't get me wrong he was still cool as shit when he did his dirt. Thats why he always got away with it.

As for the men in our family. Hopefully you and I can break the cycle and it doesn't matter who gets to the alter first. As long as we get there with the RIGHT WOMAN.

We have grown closer haven't we. Since your big brotha is a DICK..I'll gladly take his place. Holla at yo boy

@ Mr Music I'll be that I'll be that...lol

5:51 PM  
Blogger Organized Noise said...

Don't really know grantlove, but good story nonetheless. Sometimes, all we need is the right woman to come along and have patience with us. Hope yours comes along soon and I hope she has mine with her. Everyone should be as fortunate as Grantlove.

7:21 PM  
Blogger Knockout Zed said...

Slish, you sure it's your turn? If so, do that shit! I'll sit over here and observe.

KZ

12:08 AM  
Blogger A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

is mr slish getting hitched?

2:01 AM  
Blogger Grantlove said...

The Guru of failed relationships would be a more suitable title for this post. I am in no way shape or form a guru of anything, much less of love. Please do not use that term to define the knowledge gained from my many unsuccessful relationships.
Yes it has taken me many years to find that one person who completed me, and made ME want to change for the better. No one person can change another; it is up to the individual to WANT to change.

A successful relationship is all about sacrifice, honesty, and introspection. Some people simply do not have the strength of character to be honest at all times, and others may not be willing to make the necessary sacrifices that are needed to have a thriving union. Marriage is not for everyone, so it is a misnomer to think if you’re not married by a certain age that your life is a failure. I pretty much already had my mind made up that Marriage was not for me. I already had three children from three different women and I couldn’t foresee me marrying any of them. No disrespect to them, It was me who wasn’t ready. It wasn’t until I met Fina that I started looking at myself differently. I needed to look deep inside myself (introspection) and figure out what I could do to improve my character and make me a better man, a better father, and better partner. Fina made me want to be a better man. Thank you baby, you pretty much saved my life, and for that I love you endlessly!

With all the sentimentality over, I can only give three pieces of advice that sums it all up for me:

1. Be Honest – I know this may be difficult at times, not because you want to outright lie to your partner, but because most lies are to spare feelings from being hurt. My thought is this, the truth will hurt now, but it hurts a great deal more when found out later.
2. Sacrifice – Making sacrifices in relationships should not even be a question, yet in every relationship problems are caused by an individual refusing to budge on an issue. Whether big or small, immense or minute, refusing to make sacrifices will lead to a quick and speedy termination of your relationship.
3. Introspection – Contemplation of ones self. Look at yourself. Really, look at the person you are now, and the person you want to become. Before anyone can find true love, one has to know who they are inside and out. Get to know yourself first!

Slish, I’ve known you for close to thirty years and I know you have a caring heart, a compassionate soul, and a clever and intelligent mind. When it’s your turn you will know it. Just don’t start having babies before then. LOL.

One minor note: I have wonderful relationships with my children and get along with their respective mothers as well. I have nothing but respect for the jobs they have done raising my children and will always be indebted to them for that. No amount of Child support can counter what they do day in and day out.

Oh and about chipped tooth, Slish was never one to tell his boys who he liked, I guess he knew he’d get teased; I didn’t tell my boys who I liked either, I went straight to the source and told the girl. Sorry Slish, who knew? Maybe if you told her you liked her, you could have been on the back of the bus with her instead of me…..

Peace & Blessings
GrantLove

8:54 AM  
Blogger SandyBaby said...

Slishy, you are The Master Stortteller. I am simply awestruck! You go boy!

Grantlove, thanks for letting Slishy share your story. You and Fina betta do the d@mn thang! Honesty, Sacrifice, and Introspection - I couldn't have said it better my self...

9:07 AM  
Blogger Little Brown Girl said...

WOW!! Great post, but Grantlove's comments actually brought tears to my eyes. His words were so profound and heartfelt. I am truly touched!!!

This weekend my friends and I talked about relationships and a lot of Grant's points came up. At the end of the day it is and has been for some time, my belief that marriage isn't something you should be working towards from the gate. Dating and being in a relationship should be about connecting with a person and in many ways growing as a result of what is learned from that relationship. At this stage in my life I don't seek or want marriage and I know that is strange coming from a 32 year old black woman. What believe should happen for me is that someone (the one) will come into my life and appreciate me for who I am (faults and all)and because of that appreciation and ultimately our connection that person and the relationship we share will change my perspective. That my growth as a result of that relationship will usher me into the next phase of my life and give me the support needed to continue striving to become a better person.

Seems like Grantlove found that in Fina...so I guess there is still hope :-)

Truly humbled by the honesty of this post and Grant's comments...thanks for sharing!

9:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

awwwwwwww that is a great story! Just goes to show...never envy someone else's position cause you never know what they went through to get there

12:00 PM  
Blogger Mr.Slish said...

@ Organized I knew a few single women looking for a good brotha question is do you qaulify..lol

@ ZeD AFRICAN!!! I must just invite you to the wedding.

@ Angel Hope is alive and well. What grown folks need now is a little patience and constistency.

@ Ms Ahmad Ya neva know

@ GrantLove Thank you for giving me the freedom to write this entry. Thank you for not judging me when I do/did fucked up shit. because I can't say the same. Most of all thank you for just being my friend. Like Chucky friends till the end...lol

@ Sandy Baby I'm not master story teller. I just know interesting people, but i'll take the compliment anyway..lol

@ Royce True words from a real sista. Well put.

@ Mznewagenda True indeed. Some of the shit Grantlove went through would have given me a brain hemorrhage..lol

2:41 PM  
Blogger A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

aah mr slish is lucky is love! that's why you areso damn optimistic!

go 'head brotha man and get you love on!

2:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok, so my baby told me about this blog dedicated to him from Mr. Slish and I just HAD TO READ IT... Though I have heard the story before about the chic on the bus, But Slish when you told me the story in the past you forgot to include the part that you were feeling this CHIPPED tooth girl lmao lmao lmao

Yes I agree that it takes a special type of person to come into your life in order for you to WANT to change your ways.

Slish I'm sure we can all agree that it takes a special individual to deal with your ass, but be hopeful and patient Papi, cause if GrantLove found his Mami... SO WILL YOU and you might have her ass already lmao lmao

xoxo Besitos

3:35 PM  
Blogger Grantlove said...

@ Everyone - When Slish started writing stories about people I was a bit pessimistic at the though of one's business being “out in the street" so to speak. As time went by, and the stories transformed from typical blogs to social commentary, I began to understand the importance of shared communication through stories.
Slish,you have touched on subjects that are meaningful, though provoking, and most of all topics that need to be discussed, dissected, and disseminated across the blogsphere by all of us. It is much more interesting and important than reading gossip blogs about wafer thin socialites and ignorant rappers. I applaud you on this blog and for giving me the inspiration to create my own. --Soul music for everyone at SOULCRATES


“A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak” – Michael Garrett Marino

So Slish, please keep writing these poignant and thought provoking blogs, you’ll be surprised how much knowledge can come from this community of bloggers. I’m happy to be one of them.

Peace & Blessings
GrantLove

4:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Babe.. Great post!

I have always said that it is great that you have people like Grantlove in your corner. Thru life experience he has been very insightful when commenting.
I always clap when I see what he writes.

I am happy he found the one. And he did say it best, honesty, sacrifice, and introspection. We can all grow from some of the jewels he drops.
xo

5:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

@Grantlove

I thank you for your words of wisdom and especially letting every1 know that it took alot of foolishness until u could drop'words of wisdom'!!

Also, I'm printing out your 3 points and posting them where I can meditate upon them to sustain a "successful relationship."

@Slish
I have creeped thru here for a minute being a BWA (Blog Watcher Anonymous) and laughed at your 'escapades' when you're channeling Slasher but I can definitely say that this story moved me (read twice). Bravo on your storytelling!!!!!

9:32 PM  
Blogger Mr.Venom said...

I was talking to Slish about this prior to him writing this. I cracked a joke about how people who are close to us want a story written about them. People love to be immortalized through written words, makes 'em feel all fuzzy and shit. I would have Slish write a story about me but it's already been written.

10:14 PM  
Blogger Mr.Slish said...

@ Fina Thank you for saving my boys life. You're right I may have found my Mami!!!

@ Grantlove If thats not a plug I don't know what is. On the real Bloggers go to his website. He has some great oldschool soul samples. Since I've been checking my boys page I discovered These Hip Hop producers have no originality.

@ Barneys GIMME A KISS !!!! lol

@ Ms Degrate One. Why you lurking in the shadows. Make thyself known!!! Thank you for the compliment. You read this story twice Dayuum..lol

@ Venom What story is that..cause I've written a lot of stories about you..lol

10:35 PM  
Blogger M.Dot. said...

Every night Third baby mama is callng my apt looking for Curly haired Man, but he was never home. I started to get suspicious because the whole time I assumed he was with her.
____________________
I be knowning about this.
My crazy ass*ed gemini brother MARRIED his BMFH, and we call that beech cat woman. Cuz she cat like.
When he complains I just lissen, cuz, you just dont UP AND MARRY BM #4 every day.

10:05 AM  
Blogger VAR said...

Wow.. this was a great story! It goes to show you everybody is on a journey in some kind of way and curly hair went through a lot before he finally reached the promise land of where he should be. Hope he continues to celebrate what he has..

WarmBlessings..
Anthony *

1:16 PM  
Blogger Mr.Slish said...

@ she bossy wtf is bmfh mean..lol

@ Var thanks for stopping by. Curly/Grantlove is doing the best that he can.

4:16 PM  
Blogger Nika Laqui said...

Wow...thats beautiful...

2:24 AM  
Blogger Nika Laqui said...

It figures why he gets(in the past) bored so easily, he's an Aquarius...*lol*

2:29 AM  
Blogger Lyrically speaking said...

Wow, your details in here were on point, the visual was tight, good job. I really enjoyed

1:20 PM  
Blogger babybear said...

WOW @ Grantlove. When I read your explanation of how you came to be the man you are today it made me cry happy tears.

And I love and appreciate the fact that you and Slish can celebrate being boys and communicate how you feel about one another.

Thank you for sharing your blessings.

One

5:44 PM  
Blogger TanikaBrown said...

From one Taurus to another...loving the blog. I have a lot of reading to get up to speed. But so far....too good!

7:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn, I almost missed this story. Have been busy so now I am catching up!

As always, Grantlove continues to impress me without even trying. It is nice to know that some men do grow up! I am still waiting to see that in some men I know. This gives me hope.

Great story Slish, I would have never guessed that was Grantlove. Your story writing is excellent. You are in the wrong business man!

8:57 AM  

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