Lime To The Coconut

There is one thing I HATE!!!!! but somehow get tricked into doing it at least one time a year. I HATE HATE HATE !!!!! helping m@thaf@ckas move. I thought I had all these niggas trained!!!! Don' t ask Slish to help you move SHIT!!!!! Why cause I HAAAAATE IT!!!!!

Good and Plenty asked me to help him move this past Saturday. I should have told him to go f@ck himself . He knows I HATE THAT SHIT!!!! I rather give an African money to hire a mover than pick up their old ass furniture or boxes full of books they've never read and ain't never gonna read. Moving turntables, trophy's & and broken down toys from the 80's. THROW THAT SHIT OUT BEFORE YOU MOVE!!!!!

After Good & Plenty, his boy Wookie and myself finish packing up the truck. Out of Curiousity I ask " Plenty does your apt building have an elevator ? " Plenty gives me this look like DAMN!!!! I was hoping he wouldn't ask me that and responds " Nope " I give Wookie a we've just been F@CKED look and say " Yo Wookie this tricky nigga done did it to us again. " Wookie asks " What you mean Slish ? I say " M@thaF@cka got us to say yes before we could ask any details. That explains why Good and Plenty's ass hung up so damn quick after I agreed to help him. " I admit Good and Plenty got me, but I always have a plan to get out of shit. Thats why Slish made an appt to see his therapist at 5:30pm and she lives waaay out in brooklyn, therefore I will have to leave Yonkers between 4 and 4:30pm. I say " You tricky baby daddy if it wasn't for those pretty little girls your wife pushed out. I would have left you and your furniture right here at the storage Facility. Beeech ass Neeeega!!!! You have me until 4:30 pm then i'm out. I have an appt. Good and Plenty asks " With Who? " I say " THEEESE NUTS!!!!! now lets get the rest of your outdated shit on the truck.

4pm most of Good and Plenty's furniture is in his new apt. Time for me to make an exit. I say " Yo Plenty time for me to bounce" Plenty gives me this blank stare like he don't know what I'm talking about and responds " What do you mean? " I respond " Don't give me that look and you know exactly what I mean. DON'T USE YOUR KIDS TO SUCKER ME INTO STAYING EITHER!!!! They been getting on my nerves all day. So it ain't gonna work. " Plenty " C mon maaaan can't you stay until 5pm so we can go back and get the rest of the furniture from my old place. " I say " Nope cause there is no waaaaay in hell!!! your going to be able to go to the bronx, pack all that shit up and get back here by 5 pm. You must think i'm slow. I'm OOOOOUUUT!!! See ya Bitches!!!


I get to Dr.O's office promptly at 5:30pm. Dr O" How are you Mr Slish. How long has it been ? I respond " Probably a year " Dr O " Has it been that long? I thought you ran off and got married" I respond " No Dr O i'm still single and doing dumb shit." Dr O " Slish have a seat and tell me whats been going on" I sit down grab some candy out of a glass bowl and say " Well Dr O since our last session i've been all over the place. My quest for finding a wife has lead me into all kinds of different directions. I was making no progress and wasn't even close to the goals you set for me a year ago. Just when I was about to give up. I met a woman. " Dr O " Oh really whats her name " I say " Barneys " Dr O " Whats so special about her." I say " I don't know. My heart just took to her spirit. We have nothing in common but when we're together I feel like a crobar couldn't pry us apart. I can't explain it. Dr O "Thats usually how it works " I say " Oh i'm not finished. When things got a little rocky I up and break up with the girl on Valentines Day." Dr O " Mr Slish why did you do that. How did that make you feel" I say " At the time I thought it was the right thing to do. But as the weeks passed my heart was saying something different but my alter ego THE SLASHER wouldn't let me call her. Something about pride. " Dr O " So how did you resolve this situation " I say " Oh i'm getting to that. Once I was able to override the Slasher I made the call. Turned out she felt the same way, We had dinner and now she's my cuddle muffin all over again" Dr O " So what your saying is you've fallen for this Barneys " I respond " Fall, trip, jump in front of a bullet Whateva !!! I don't want to be apart from her. My heart can't take it."

10pm I arrive at Barneys apt with Scrimps , fried oysters, dvd, and a bottle of Pre Mixed Mudslide. Sing along now " Im gonna watch her t.v, we gonna play her cd's, I'm gonna be on you, you gonna be on me " WE about to get our FREAK ON!!!!!

Once we're done eating Barneys decides to take a shower. WE GONE GET OUR FREAK ON!!!!!! When she's done she goes into her bedroom and locks the door " Huh!!! we not gone get our freak on . 5 minutes later her room door opens slightly. Barneys sticks her leg out. Attached to the bottom of it is a BLACK STILETTO!!!! . WE GONE GET OUR FREAK ON!!!!! She opens the door all the way. My whole body went numb . This woman had on lime green Victoria Secret coochie shorts with the bra to match. Oh!!! and it was transparent. Long story short " I put that Lime to this Coconut and woooorked it alll ooout !!!!!! "