Young Jedi

Hey Bloggers. Its been a year since I've been doing this tell my business to the Cyber Space community. I must admit I'm glad I did it. I have learned, laughed, and empathized with so many of you. So this week I'm going to give you the best of Slish. There are some folks out there that have already read these stories. All I can say is READ EM AGAIN!!!


I take pride in my understanding of the opposite sex. I've always been able to anticipate their wants, needs, & desires. Why I am still single then ? Well. I never said I understood myself. Without knowledge of self its hard to maintain relationships.

Now my knowledge of the opposite sex was not some innate ability I developed over the years. It was taught to me by my best friend. The Phantom. His super power. The ability to see you without you seeing him.

My training began in the summer of 1993. We both shared an apt in the Bronx. His rule was " Slish while your living here with me your going to have to check that nice guy shit at the door. I don't need you fucking up my flow. So my training began. It started with simple stuff like

1. Never call a woman the day after you get her number shows desperation.

2. Don't do too much extra shit early ex Flowers, candy, plays. WHY? When you f#$%K up you would have already run out of tricks to make up for it .

3. Always tell the truth. Why ? So when shit hits the fan she can't call you a liar. Women seem to loooove that word.


4. Leave all incriminating evidence out in the open. Women never look for the obvious.


5. Never ever ever ever ever Lie on your dick. Its bad Karma. Can cause impotence.


6. If you're going to cheat. Your side chick should never come before your Girlfriend. ex You have a date with yo side chick and wifey calls you. Go see WIFEY!!! Brothas get caught when they get greedy.

7. Never introduce your girlfriend to your boys girl. WORLDS COLLIDE!!! They will conspire against the both of you or compare notes. Ex "Slish took you to a play and SHOPPING!!! " Yo Boys girl " WHY YOU NEVER TAKE ME TO A PLAY OR BUY ME NICE JEWELRY LIKE SLISH!!!!

8. If your stepping out to do some dirt. Call Wifey first. Make sure you tell her all the things she needs to hear. Most likely she'll be too caught up in " MY MAN LOVES ME thoughts to bother calling you back to check up on ya. ( You ladies might be looking at me sideways right now but believe me that shit used to work.)


With this new found knowledge Mr Slish was born. Now there were a few hit & misses at first but I was a quick study . I made my teacher proud. Before you knew it we became legends amongst our peers . Our Motto " Nuh Bwoy Test Me Nuh Pussy Brush Gainst Mi" Lay man's terms " We don't take no shit and a strangers lady is not safe in our company".

Over the years this system was modified and I took it upon myself to take on a few pupils. One of them I am very proud of is Boogie Baby. I met Boogie Baby in 98 he was a local Dj in need of some business cards. I referred him to one of my boys. Thats how our friendship began. During our interaction I thought to myself this is one cool brotha. Dependable, Loyal, always in a good mood. I must know at least one sista he could get with. So I started bringing him to my usual haunts. To my surprise the fish weren't biting. Consensus. " Yo Boy has no flavor " Thats when I heard The Phantoms voice " You must train him Slish. The force is strong in this one " Boogie Baby's training began shortly after.

It was tough at first. Since he was a dj he had this strong hip hop personality. Nikey's top ten, Phat Farm & Sean John. Nothing wrong with those labels but if you want to stand out from the rest. You can't wear someone elses name on your chest. A couple of trips to Banana Republic, Armani Exchange & Kenneth Cole. Boogie baby was a new man and the ladies noticed ( Well just the ones that didn't know him before the make over).

A few years go by Boogie Baby is no longer a Dj. He traded his turntables in for a laptop. Thats right he evolved into a computer engineer.( Microsoft certified). Making good money and living in a condo in money earnin Mt. Vernon. Around 2004 at my movie shoot. ( Don't ask thats another story) Boogie baby is introduced to this vanilla sista. A show stopper at that. Truth be told. I didn't think he had a chance. But with my training and guidance. He pulled off the biggest upset of 2004 . Clipperman didn't even see it coming. He was also in heavy pursuit of this prize.

The relationship started out hot and heavy. Already Boogie Baby broke rule number two of the Phantom Commandments. Why? Pretty face, nice body can cause brain damage. 6 Months in he's in love & Show Stopper loved him back. But when an average guy dates a pretty woman. His mind can play tricks on him. All of a sudden every guy she knows is a threat, A night out with her girls is unacceptable, & your boys become a distant memory cause you spend most of your time with her making sure no one else can steal your prize. Big Mistake . Recipe for Disaster.

To make a long story short. They broke up about a year ago. I haven't heard from my boy since. Probably blames me for it. I've reached out to him several times. He doesn't return my calls. If your reading this bruh. Call me . Don't want to lose you as a friend. Lifes too short.