Uncle Slishy
We go through our lives hoping that we never have to experience the kind of pain that can change our entire outlook on life. You know. The kind of pain that can make you bitter. The kind of pain that will have you contemplating your own existence. The kind of pain that can cause hopelessness and despair. Thats the kind of pain that will turn a good person into one of Satans rejects.
1 yr and 1/2 ago. " Slish i'm pregnant" I respond " Noooooo waaay. For real Bashy? Who's the daddy?" Bashy " TDH" I respond "TDH!!! Bashy I thought you stopped seeing him? Bashy " No we're still together and i'm afraid to tell him." I ask " Why? " Bashy " Slish he has three children already! He's going to try and convince me to have an abortion. uh uh I'mnottellinghim." I say " Bashy you have to tell him. " Bashy " Why! " I respond " Baaaaasshy" Bashy " Okay Ill tell him " She hangs up.
1 week later " So how did he respond" Bashy " Like I knew he would. He wants me to have an abortion says he can't handle one more kid right now. I respond " He should have thought about that before he stuck his dick in you raw, but I can't let him take full responsibility you let him do that. Why? Bashy " We were using a condom, but it broke. " I respond " Baasssshy" Bashy " Okay maybe not all the time, but i'm in love with him and i'm going to have this baby" I say " Kewl what he say when you told him that." Bashy " He said i'm being selfish and that I could always have another baby why do I have to have this one. " I respond " He said that! FUCK HIM! Have your baby! He don't want to be a stand up dude! FUCK HIM! You don't need him. Anything you need before and after you have this child. I'll be there! Bashy responds " Slish you can't do that. You have your own life to live." I respond " Yeah and you and that little critter are a part of that life now." Bashy giggles a little and responds " Slish you're like the big brother I never had. Thank You."
5 months go by. Bashy was glowing. Her outlook was positive despite the fact that TDH had abandoned her. I picked Bashy up from her job whenever she worked the late shift. We went baby shopping I even started planning her baby shower along with her sister. We were like one big happy family. She was going to have this baby and I was going to be Uncle Slishy. I looked forward to it.
7 months Its a girl!!! Bashy " Slish everything I didn't get as a child. This little girl is going to have. " I say " Thats great Bashy. Anything you need, babysitter, money , anything at all. Just call me and i'm there" Bashy " Slish how many times do I have to tell you. I'm grateful but I can't expect you to put your life on hold. What if you meet someone special. She's not going to want you spending all your time with me and my baby. I respond "At the rate i'm going your baby will be 21 by the time that happens cause these hoes don't looooove me " We both start to laugh I ask " How many times the baby kick you today?" Bashy " You know what Slish she must be tired because she hasn't kicked me since Friday night. I get quiet and think to myself. Today is Sunday that baby should be kicking her daily I respond" Yeah you're probably right. Listen I need to make a phone call. I'll call you back. I hang up and quickly call my mom. " Ma if a pregnant woman hasn't felt her baby kick since Friday. Should she be alarmed? " Mom" Slishy thats not good.Take her to the Hospital NOW!
I call Bashy " Hey Slish" I say " Hey girl. I don't want you to get nervous but just to be on the safe side. Lets take a drive to the Hospital. Make sure things are what they should be." Bashy's voice starts to tremble " W Why" I respond " Baby don't worry lets just go to the hospital" Bashy calms down and responds " Okay I'll be ready in ten minutes"
1/2 an hour later we're at the Hospital in the waiting area. Bashy is calm and i'm telling her stories about the women that are currently in my life. " Slish you ain't never gonna settle down" I respond " If your fine ass sister would stop dating white boys maybe I might have a chance at happiness. " Bashy " Please she ain't thinking about you" I respond " One night. Ooooooone night is all I need to become your brother in law" Nurse " Ms Bashy Ms Bashy." Bashy responds " Thats me " Nurse " Could you follow me please" Bashy gets up and walks toward the nurse. I say " Bashy you want me to come with you? " She looks back, smiles and nods her head yes. I get up and walk behind her.
10 minutes later Bashy is lying on a bed, shirt pulled above her stomach, while the doctor is performing an Ultrasound. I hold her hand and smile " I'm sure its nothing" Bashy gives me a worried look but manages to smile back. I look over at the doctor, but she's not smiling just moving the pad around on bashy's stomach. I look over at the monitor but I can't figure out whats going on. Doctor " Ms Bashy it seems that your baby's heart has stopped beating. I gasp as I felt my heart stop ! Bashy lets out a scream from the pit of her stomach "'Noooooooo my baaaaaaaby Noooooooo Whyyyy Why! What did I do! What did I do! I've been soooo good. Why my baby Whyyyyyyy!" I grab Bashy, pull her close to my chest, and hug her making sure she doesn't see me crying. Bashy " Why Slish Whyyyy." Then she pushes herself away from me and gets angry " He did this to me! He didn't want this baby! I bet his ass is happy now! I'm gonna kill him ! I grab her and say " Bashy! Don't say that! Its not his fault. Its not your fault. We're gonna get through this.
I turn to the doctor and ask " Whats our next step" Doctor " We're going to have her admitted then induce labor. Bashy starts to cry harder " Nooooooo Sliiish. Why my baaaby!" I respond sadly " I don't know sweetheart" At that moment I start wondering if there is truly a higher power because if there was it would not have allowed this to happen. I mean. What lesson could Bashy possible learn from this experience.
The next day Bashy pushed out her future and her past. She called her sperm donor several times but he never showed up. I kinda thought he would. Considering the circumstances, but you know NIGGAS. They're always consistent. Him not showing up caused a self destruct button to go off in Bashy. I went into Super Hero mode and tried to save her, but Bashy let go of my hand and started to freefall. Our friendship eventually disintegrated into Vapors.
I guess what they say is true . Once a good girl gone. She gone forever.
1 yr and 1/2 ago. " Slish i'm pregnant" I respond " Noooooo waaay. For real Bashy? Who's the daddy?" Bashy " TDH" I respond "TDH!!! Bashy I thought you stopped seeing him? Bashy " No we're still together and i'm afraid to tell him." I ask " Why? " Bashy " Slish he has three children already! He's going to try and convince me to have an abortion. uh uh I'mnottellinghim." I say " Bashy you have to tell him. " Bashy " Why! " I respond " Baaaaasshy" Bashy " Okay Ill tell him " She hangs up.
1 week later " So how did he respond" Bashy " Like I knew he would. He wants me to have an abortion says he can't handle one more kid right now. I respond " He should have thought about that before he stuck his dick in you raw, but I can't let him take full responsibility you let him do that. Why? Bashy " We were using a condom, but it broke. " I respond " Baasssshy" Bashy " Okay maybe not all the time, but i'm in love with him and i'm going to have this baby" I say " Kewl what he say when you told him that." Bashy " He said i'm being selfish and that I could always have another baby why do I have to have this one. " I respond " He said that! FUCK HIM! Have your baby! He don't want to be a stand up dude! FUCK HIM! You don't need him. Anything you need before and after you have this child. I'll be there! Bashy responds " Slish you can't do that. You have your own life to live." I respond " Yeah and you and that little critter are a part of that life now." Bashy giggles a little and responds " Slish you're like the big brother I never had. Thank You."
5 months go by. Bashy was glowing. Her outlook was positive despite the fact that TDH had abandoned her. I picked Bashy up from her job whenever she worked the late shift. We went baby shopping I even started planning her baby shower along with her sister. We were like one big happy family. She was going to have this baby and I was going to be Uncle Slishy. I looked forward to it.
7 months Its a girl!!! Bashy " Slish everything I didn't get as a child. This little girl is going to have. " I say " Thats great Bashy. Anything you need, babysitter, money , anything at all. Just call me and i'm there" Bashy " Slish how many times do I have to tell you. I'm grateful but I can't expect you to put your life on hold. What if you meet someone special. She's not going to want you spending all your time with me and my baby. I respond "At the rate i'm going your baby will be 21 by the time that happens cause these hoes don't looooove me " We both start to laugh I ask " How many times the baby kick you today?" Bashy " You know what Slish she must be tired because she hasn't kicked me since Friday night. I get quiet and think to myself. Today is Sunday that baby should be kicking her daily I respond" Yeah you're probably right. Listen I need to make a phone call. I'll call you back. I hang up and quickly call my mom. " Ma if a pregnant woman hasn't felt her baby kick since Friday. Should she be alarmed? " Mom" Slishy thats not good.Take her to the Hospital NOW!
I call Bashy " Hey Slish" I say " Hey girl. I don't want you to get nervous but just to be on the safe side. Lets take a drive to the Hospital. Make sure things are what they should be." Bashy's voice starts to tremble " W Why" I respond " Baby don't worry lets just go to the hospital" Bashy calms down and responds " Okay I'll be ready in ten minutes"
1/2 an hour later we're at the Hospital in the waiting area. Bashy is calm and i'm telling her stories about the women that are currently in my life. " Slish you ain't never gonna settle down" I respond " If your fine ass sister would stop dating white boys maybe I might have a chance at happiness. " Bashy " Please she ain't thinking about you" I respond " One night. Ooooooone night is all I need to become your brother in law" Nurse " Ms Bashy Ms Bashy." Bashy responds " Thats me " Nurse " Could you follow me please" Bashy gets up and walks toward the nurse. I say " Bashy you want me to come with you? " She looks back, smiles and nods her head yes. I get up and walk behind her.
10 minutes later Bashy is lying on a bed, shirt pulled above her stomach, while the doctor is performing an Ultrasound. I hold her hand and smile " I'm sure its nothing" Bashy gives me a worried look but manages to smile back. I look over at the doctor, but she's not smiling just moving the pad around on bashy's stomach. I look over at the monitor but I can't figure out whats going on. Doctor " Ms Bashy it seems that your baby's heart has stopped beating. I gasp as I felt my heart stop ! Bashy lets out a scream from the pit of her stomach "'Noooooooo my baaaaaaaby Noooooooo Whyyyy Why! What did I do! What did I do! I've been soooo good. Why my baby Whyyyyyyy!" I grab Bashy, pull her close to my chest, and hug her making sure she doesn't see me crying. Bashy " Why Slish Whyyyy." Then she pushes herself away from me and gets angry " He did this to me! He didn't want this baby! I bet his ass is happy now! I'm gonna kill him ! I grab her and say " Bashy! Don't say that! Its not his fault. Its not your fault. We're gonna get through this.
I turn to the doctor and ask " Whats our next step" Doctor " We're going to have her admitted then induce labor. Bashy starts to cry harder " Nooooooo Sliiish. Why my baaaby!" I respond sadly " I don't know sweetheart" At that moment I start wondering if there is truly a higher power because if there was it would not have allowed this to happen. I mean. What lesson could Bashy possible learn from this experience.
The next day Bashy pushed out her future and her past. She called her sperm donor several times but he never showed up. I kinda thought he would. Considering the circumstances, but you know NIGGAS. They're always consistent. Him not showing up caused a self destruct button to go off in Bashy. I went into Super Hero mode and tried to save her, but Bashy let go of my hand and started to freefall. Our friendship eventually disintegrated into Vapors.
I guess what they say is true . Once a good girl gone. She gone forever.
posted by Mr.Slish at
11/13/2006 03:07:00 AM
47 Comments:
Damn! I wasn't prepared for that story on a Monday morning. You know how I feel about the kids....
I hope this is a prelude to you actually writing a book. Fiction, Non-Fiction, Sci-fi...I don't care what it is, but you really need to write a book!
Doesn't everyone think Slish should start working on a book??!!
Peace & Blessings
GrantLove
Fuck that! I can't stand sperm donor dudes! That shit makes us all look foul.
KZ
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Damn that was heavy! That negro was dead wrong!!!!!! I really hope life is working out for her after that.
I wasn't ready for that either on a rainy Monday morning!
I have also told Slish he should be writing books. I woud buy them!
@ Grantlove Stop that shit..Writing books..Ooookaay! I don't know. I have too many stories to tell don't know where to start.
@ Zed..Dude let me tell you! If I could have found ole boy. It would have been trouble trouble trouble. I mean how hard could it have been for him to just show up and hold her hand. That gesture alone could have changed her outlook on life.
@ Paula D Dead Wrong is not the word. Too many brothas out there doing shit like that. We need a special task force to combat those muthafuckas. Out in the world causeing all kinds of pain. They need someone to inflict pain on them.
@ Drea..You wouldn't buy my book probably call my ass asking for a free copy..lol
That was deep. And I know oh too well the effects of sperm donors. More than people know or will ever know.
I hope she is doing well, and holding her head up. As hard as it is, I hope she stays strong.
I agree wtih grantlove, you should write a book
This story sounds vaguely familiar...I sure hope it's not the "true hollywood story"
...as much as you bug me about book writing...if you make me write one...yea, ZACTLY...you goin' have to write one too.
...::but I ain't really writing one::...
@ Syn. She doing fine from what I hear. As a matter of fact she's pregnant now. I'm little upset at the fact that she still hasn't told me. She doesn't know I know. I hope she reads this blog entry. Maybe then she'll give Big Brotha Slish a call...I ain't writing no book!!!! lol
@ Blah Yeah you know the whole story. You were around for the whole self destruct part. I bet you'll write a book before I do..
Oh that was so sad!!!!! *reaching for a kleenex*
My heart goes out to her. I really do hope she is better.
And yes MAN - stop faking and get to writing!!!!
I knew exactly where the story was going and it hurt me to continue reading but I did. That breaks my heart...I pray that she has found peace.
As for ole' boy...there are tons of them out there. It's unfortunate but it's true. Normally all the signs are there before we find ourselves in this position but we choose to ignore them.
I Double DITTO the writing sentiments...what da hell you waiting on dayumit???
I hope your friend is doing better now and I hope her new man is more supportive... she had a good example with you
Slish-why you got me boohooing on the j-o-b!
You are truly a a standup guy.
@ Sandybaby I hope she is too...
@ Royce. Waiting on yo ass to start first!!! lol...
@ Chezniki..It was the right thing to do at the time.Didn't want her thinking all men were like TDH..
@ Tjeanise I sorry...lol...
I'm glad she's doing better. I hope that the friendship that you two once shared can be salvaged. You're a good guy to have in your corner.
I think I have this thing all worked out now. Did anybody have to switch to BETA?
http://indreasmind.blogspot.com/2006/11/when-your-purpose-in-my-life-no-longer.html
Shit man! I don't even have any other words for that story. That was too sad.
Very sad. I feel for Bashy and the baby. As for the sperm donor...he sucks but KARMA IS A BEYOTCH. He'll get his.
Whew! Please don't beat me up, but there was a similar storyline on Grey's Anatomy last week, but the couple was married. It was sad to see the woman pushing her baby out just to hold it briefly and lay it to rest, but the real life grimy version that Slish put out there is beyond sad and heartbreaking, especially with a rat bastid like the donor involved.
Slish needs to write a book or three. From the wise lyrics of MC Breed: "It ain't no future in yo' frontin!"
I've heard of sperm donors, but I'm fortunate enough to not deal with them directly or indirectly. Who are these whack dudes?
Royce's daughter was on point when she said we women see the signs. We put ourselves in these predicaments with men because we tend to believe we really can be the one glimmer of light in a man's life that will get him to do a 360 and be a brand new and thoroughly correct man in every single way. The fact is no matter how bright our light shines, a man won't change or evolve unless he wants to come out of the darkness on his own because he sees things for himself. (Sorry it got long because I'm not exempt from the women that ignore signs.)
I hope Bashy is doing much better these days. Maybe you and Bashy will be friends again someday. Maybe you could reach out to her....
**quietly in thought**
Dayum............
@ Chele I hope so too...Now thats she pregnant again. She refuses to call me. It Hurts but I understand she doesn't want to be reminded of her last pregancy.
@ T cas I had few words the day it happened.
@ 1969 Oh he got his Karma its called CHILD SUPPORT! Those 3 kids are sucking him dry..lol
@ Sunshyne Lol.. Funny you should mention that show. It was that very episode that prompted me to write this story. It was hard for me to watch. Figured it was time to talk about it.. You know like closure.
@ Calikim Thank you for the compliment. I also thank you for sticking with me through that journey.
@ Ms degrate 1 yeah think about it. No rhyme no reason..
How horrible. I feel so bad for her.
Unbelievable how a man could turn his back on someone carrying his baby. How can you turn off your feelings like that with your own offspring? HOW?
My baby daddy...cause he damn for sure hasn't been my daughter's father...is a dead beat dad! So, I felt her pain and the hope you gave her by being there for her. I wish it wouldn't have ended that way, but everything happens for a reason!
Oh wow! That is an experience you wouldn't wish on the most hated woman in your life much less a close friend. I pray she bounces back one day soon.
Cosigning GrantLove: what's up with the book Slish?
That is heartbreaking. That's probably the worst fear of every pregnant woman. I hope your friend eventually cut the sperm donor lose cause he sounded like an A-hole.
ok...so TDH has 3 kids? Thought that man had none...NONE. Fa serious? Your gonna have to explain what the TDH stands for...LOL
I ain't tellin...but, he's gonna beat your ass when he reads this...well, IF he reads this!
...and I think she's probably still reading. You know they always say they ain't when they is.
damn...that brotha fucked up for sure. however, you're right. ole girl played her part. i'm just sorry she chose to be a victim instead of a victor.
@ The Mistress. Thats easy for and ego driven asshole..
@ Dynasty Really your baby daddy wants no part of that cute little girls life..Dayum..Why?
@ Beauty She bounced back..She just hasn't told me about...
@ The Goddess..She not only cut him off..When she saw him she beat his ass...No joke...
@ Blah..Venom doesn't have any kids. This was Pre Venom..She met him a few months after this incident...Thats another story I don't need to tell...
I kind hope she is reading this. I miss my little sis Bashy..:)
@ Nikki..They both did...No Victory could have come from that.
This happened to my hair dresser. We were close and her baby was born stillborn as well. I can not imagine that type of pain. Her pushing you away was probably not intentional.
As for the pregnancy itself. Those situations are tough. I know that people think that a dude should automatically step up, but I am realist, not an idealist. If you are fucking a dude who isn't ready/does not want to be a daddy it is not a surprise when he abandons you when you become pregnant. He's an ass, but she knew he'd act like an ass.
Slishy I know you saw my "Daddies or Donors" post...Donors need to go kick rocks...they don't realize that they mess up the woman that has the kid, the kid and maybe even the kid's kid.
Great post. You need to write a book.
Newy
http://www.mznewagenda.blog-city.com/daddy_or_donor.htm
I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I wasn't by my friend's side when she had to have an emergency c-section to deliver her still born son. It touched me deeply to hear of her pain and the after math... holding him and saying their good byes... i feel terribly for woman and families that experience this.
slish, there's victory in surviving, overcoming, and being stronger in the wake of that. my aunt is one who also has allowed life's disappointments to burden her to the point where she can't fly. it's hard to witness with a loved one.
to me, there is always a victory, even if it's as simple as being able to greet a new day with no mistakes in it.
That's an ugly-ass story.
Mr. Music
Wow, that's awful. I had my first all alone, except for my mom..she was lucky to have a friend like you who supported her in every way..Maybe she feels too much pain to tell you about her new one...old memories you know?
Time heals some, not all..
Wow...I wasn't prepared for that.
I pray that she finds Peace. I am so sorry for your loss as well... its so hard to lose someone you care about.
@ Miz JJ You're right deep down I think she knew.
@ Newy. Think did read that post..So is your baby daddy a donor or a daddy?
@ Yummy411..Like the name..lol...Thanks for stopping by and for sharing
@ Nikki I stand corrected...:)
@ Mr Music..I know. It was an terrible day for Bashy and me both..
@ Curly...I know thats why i've given Bashy her space...
@ Rasha Welcome to Slish City and thanks for your kind words..:)
Damn that is one of the most heartbreaking things that can happen to a female and a couple whether in love or just great friends like you were. If everyone had a friend like you around when something bad happened we would all live in a better place.
I think you handled things incredibly well hun.
It's no fair bad things always happen to good people.
Take care
xxS*Bxx
a donor. And to make it worse...a donor without a conscious.
what's wrong with these women wanting/having these chitlens knowing darn well these men don't and will not be around. i'm saying what happened to this young lady was justifiable. it was truly unfortunate. but these be the same women beating and fighting these me in court down the road. i know all situations are different but the majority are stupid/desperate women trying to hold on to some lame ass man.
WOW! I can't believe that. And homeboy didn't even have the nerve to show up?! Unbelievable. Actually, no it isn't. Some dudes are just f**ked up, and there isn't much you can expect for men like that. As for your friend, I'm extremely saddened that she took it so hard, and your friendship suffered.
Oh yea, you SHOULD write a book! :)
*Elle
Slish: He's a deadbeat, drug dealing, alcholic loser. Plain and simple. I could push the issue, but he's really more trouble then he's worth having around. To show you how trifling he is: He's living with and sleeping with his brother's kids mother. WTF! I don't want my daughter around that ish. His brother is in jail for killing a police officer and African has set-up here and hooked up with his nieces and nephews mother.
This was some serious heaviness and a supurb piece of writing. You should really think about starting that book!
wow. well, you can't force someone else to want a baby... especially if you see a dude has 3 kids already and isn't talking about having kids with you.. pretty typical.. but regardless the LEAST that asshole could've done was shown up for the stillbirth.. shit that was fucking low.. typical, but low.
i hope Bashy realizes the true friend she has in you and doesn't fall into a hole of sorrow.. unfortunately no one ever said life was fair
you told that story...my nose started to burn and my eyes started to tear up. I have been catching up on my reading...but dang. Something I actually did not expect and your last line...CLASSIC!
Holla!!
What the hell???? Everytime damn time I go on vacation I come back to something crazy!!!! How you gonna just leave us like that? What happened to weening us off a little bit at a time??? (SIGH)
Damnit...I don't know what else to say. I am selfish too and I really look forward to reading your blogs. Well, be sure to email me and let me know when you write the book. I was gonna say I like your new picture but I change my mind :-)
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