Eye Contact
Sunday Morning
Bzzzz Bzzzzz Bzzzzz WTF!!! Is that noise !!!! I'm dizzy as f%ck and I can't figure out where that Buzzzz Buzzzz is coming from. I turn over in the couch and fall off. Buzz Buzzz Buzzz WTF IS THAT!!!!!! My cell phone falls to the floor in front of me. Buzzz Buzzzz Bzzzzz I must have accidentally put it on vibrate. I look at the screen its my homegirl Agent 99 I pick up and mumble something to her She says" Slishy Slishy YOU THERE!!! Wake up!!!! I groan " Uhhhhh stop yelling. " Agent 99 " Slishy you might have to go to Venoms Kappa Brunch By your blah blah blah blah blah " I was too dizzy to even comprehend what she was saying I respond " Call me back when you figure out what you doin "
The Day Before
5 pm Saturday My cell phone is ringing its Corporate I pick up " Yooo" Corporate shouts " AM I MY BROTHERS KEEPER!!!! I respond " Excuse me??!! Corporate yells again " SAY IT WITH ME SLISH AM I MY BROTHERS KEEPER!!!!! I respond " What the f%ck are you talking about " Corporate responds " Who have you been checking out for the past few weeks" I respond " Ummm yo mama? " Corporates tone changes " You about to get f&%cked up. Play too damn much. Remember the bartender from our new hang out spot Earl Monroes" I respond " You mean Kimistry ? "Corporate says " Yeah her girlfriend is digging me so she called today asking if I wanted to hang out . I told her I was hanging out with the fellas. She asked if she could bring a friend and GUESS WHO THAT FRIEND IS!!!! This nigga must be playing with me he never hooks me up with a chick especially someone that looks like Kimistry. Light skinned, Pouty Lips , Exotic hair and a Tight body that screams Slish LICK ME LICK ME LICK ME!!. I respond " What time we leaving. " Corporate responds " Be at my apt at 8pm " he hangs up.
3 1/2 hrs later I arrive at Corporate's apt. He's still getting his bitch ass ready and Dough boy is in Corporate's office watching porn , playing solitaire and eating chinese food all at the same time. Dough Boy is so engrossed in his smorgasbord of goodies he doesn't notice me walk into the room. I creep up behind him " WATCHA DOIN!!!! Dough boy JUMPS!!!! " YO WHERE THE F&CK DID YOU JUST COME FROM!!! I start laughing and walk out the office.
1 hr later Corporate comes out ready for action and says " Slish change in plans Kimistry's girlfriend called while I was getting dressed and cancelled" I say " Aiight so whats plan B" Corporate gives this devilish grin and responds " Its Snow Bunny Time " I say " Oh so you were serious about that shit. " Corporate responds " Yes Siiiiiiir meat packing district is full of white meat this time of night. " Dough Boy starts giggling we put on our coats and head out the door.
We're at the elevator now. Corporate is telling me about the venues where the Snowflakes are plentiful. I notice two red blemishes on his chin I interrupt him and say " Bruh WTF is that shit on your chin" before Corporate could even answer Dough Boy blurts out " Thats herpes nigga!!!! " I look at Corporates face. He's looking at Dough Boy like he's about to jump up and punch his ass. I start laughing and say " Corporate there's no come back for that. Leave it alone he got you good."
45 minutes later we're sitting in a Lounge FULL of SNOWFLAKES. Corporate is saying " Eye contact Slish all we need is eye contact. Can't just walk up on Snowflakes all willie nillie" I say " F^&k THAT!!!! there are some white girls in here with some fat asses thats all the eye contact I need. " The Bunnies in that spot weren't nibbling so we decided to leave and go to the next hole.
We get to this place called ONE. Line out side full of Snowflakes and their counterparts. Corporate decides he's going to flex his financial muscle and get us in without standing on that long ass line. He walks over to the door man they talk for about 2 minutes. Corporate walks back over to me and Dough Boy and says " Aiight we have to get a vip table if we're going to skip this line" I say " How much is that gonna cost " Corporate responds " 270.00" I respond " HEEEELLLL NO for what ! " Corporate says " A table and a bottle of champagne don't worry Slish I'll cover it. You and Dough Boy just buy drinks" Dough Boy cuts in and says" F$%ck that. Why don't you just give me and Slish 100.00 a piece and we go home right now." I start laughing and say " C mon Dough Boy lets go in. Yo boy not gonna be happy until he meets a Jennifer Aniston clone"
ONE is on and POPPIN!!! We're in vip and loving it. Dumb ass white people looking at us like we're celebrities. I have a glass of champagne in my right hand and a glass of Henny in my left. I notice this brunette checking out my dancing skills probably having Mandingo Fantasies. I walk over to her. We start to chat. Then she asks me what I do for a living. Shiit this must be the universal question for all women. So I lie and tell her I write screenplays. Which is universal for all men(The Lying Part). Corporate is in the corner with this Blond Buxom Snowflake. They exchange numbers, she kisses him on the lips, and leaves. WHOA!!! I walk over to him and say " You know her right!?? "
Corporate smiles and responds " Eye contact baby eye contact. "
Bzzzz Bzzzzz Bzzzzz WTF!!! Is that noise !!!! I'm dizzy as f%ck and I can't figure out where that Buzzzz Buzzzz is coming from. I turn over in the couch and fall off. Buzz Buzzz Buzzz WTF IS THAT!!!!!! My cell phone falls to the floor in front of me. Buzzz Buzzzz Bzzzzz I must have accidentally put it on vibrate. I look at the screen its my homegirl Agent 99 I pick up and mumble something to her She says" Slishy Slishy YOU THERE!!! Wake up!!!! I groan " Uhhhhh stop yelling. " Agent 99 " Slishy you might have to go to Venoms Kappa Brunch By your blah blah blah blah blah " I was too dizzy to even comprehend what she was saying I respond " Call me back when you figure out what you doin "
The Day Before
5 pm Saturday My cell phone is ringing its Corporate I pick up " Yooo" Corporate shouts " AM I MY BROTHERS KEEPER!!!! I respond " Excuse me??!! Corporate yells again " SAY IT WITH ME SLISH AM I MY BROTHERS KEEPER!!!!! I respond " What the f%ck are you talking about " Corporate responds " Who have you been checking out for the past few weeks" I respond " Ummm yo mama? " Corporates tone changes " You about to get f&%cked up. Play too damn much. Remember the bartender from our new hang out spot Earl Monroes" I respond " You mean Kimistry ? "Corporate says " Yeah her girlfriend is digging me so she called today asking if I wanted to hang out . I told her I was hanging out with the fellas. She asked if she could bring a friend and GUESS WHO THAT FRIEND IS!!!! This nigga must be playing with me he never hooks me up with a chick especially someone that looks like Kimistry. Light skinned, Pouty Lips , Exotic hair and a Tight body that screams Slish LICK ME LICK ME LICK ME!!. I respond " What time we leaving. " Corporate responds " Be at my apt at 8pm " he hangs up.
3 1/2 hrs later I arrive at Corporate's apt. He's still getting his bitch ass ready and Dough boy is in Corporate's office watching porn , playing solitaire and eating chinese food all at the same time. Dough Boy is so engrossed in his smorgasbord of goodies he doesn't notice me walk into the room. I creep up behind him " WATCHA DOIN!!!! Dough boy JUMPS!!!! " YO WHERE THE F&CK DID YOU JUST COME FROM!!! I start laughing and walk out the office.
1 hr later Corporate comes out ready for action and says " Slish change in plans Kimistry's girlfriend called while I was getting dressed and cancelled" I say " Aiight so whats plan B" Corporate gives this devilish grin and responds " Its Snow Bunny Time " I say " Oh so you were serious about that shit. " Corporate responds " Yes Siiiiiiir meat packing district is full of white meat this time of night. " Dough Boy starts giggling we put on our coats and head out the door.
We're at the elevator now. Corporate is telling me about the venues where the Snowflakes are plentiful. I notice two red blemishes on his chin I interrupt him and say " Bruh WTF is that shit on your chin" before Corporate could even answer Dough Boy blurts out " Thats herpes nigga!!!! " I look at Corporates face. He's looking at Dough Boy like he's about to jump up and punch his ass. I start laughing and say " Corporate there's no come back for that. Leave it alone he got you good."
45 minutes later we're sitting in a Lounge FULL of SNOWFLAKES. Corporate is saying " Eye contact Slish all we need is eye contact. Can't just walk up on Snowflakes all willie nillie" I say " F^&k THAT!!!! there are some white girls in here with some fat asses thats all the eye contact I need. " The Bunnies in that spot weren't nibbling so we decided to leave and go to the next hole.
We get to this place called ONE. Line out side full of Snowflakes and their counterparts. Corporate decides he's going to flex his financial muscle and get us in without standing on that long ass line. He walks over to the door man they talk for about 2 minutes. Corporate walks back over to me and Dough Boy and says " Aiight we have to get a vip table if we're going to skip this line" I say " How much is that gonna cost " Corporate responds " 270.00" I respond " HEEEELLLL NO for what ! " Corporate says " A table and a bottle of champagne don't worry Slish I'll cover it. You and Dough Boy just buy drinks" Dough Boy cuts in and says" F$%ck that. Why don't you just give me and Slish 100.00 a piece and we go home right now." I start laughing and say " C mon Dough Boy lets go in. Yo boy not gonna be happy until he meets a Jennifer Aniston clone"
ONE is on and POPPIN!!! We're in vip and loving it. Dumb ass white people looking at us like we're celebrities. I have a glass of champagne in my right hand and a glass of Henny in my left. I notice this brunette checking out my dancing skills probably having Mandingo Fantasies. I walk over to her. We start to chat. Then she asks me what I do for a living. Shiit this must be the universal question for all women. So I lie and tell her I write screenplays. Which is universal for all men(The Lying Part). Corporate is in the corner with this Blond Buxom Snowflake. They exchange numbers, she kisses him on the lips, and leaves. WHOA!!! I walk over to him and say " You know her right!?? "
Corporate smiles and responds " Eye contact baby eye contact. "
posted by Mr.Slish at
3/21/2006 01:18:00 AM
13 Comments:
@ Choclatee
And then nothing.We left the club 20 minutes later and I took my drunk ass home
...you've lead him to the edge....he's taken the jump...he's not coming back!
all i can do is shake my head...fine if you wanna dip and dabble...but CA ain't comin' back...*huge sigh*
...umma, thought you said i could tag along...to find my blue eyed blonde haired prince charming???? HATER!
So what dance were you doing? That lean with it, rock with it?
I almost spit out my soda onto my computer at work when I read the herpes part. That was a good one. Nice Blog ~1~
lol@snowflakes
'getting a man with a goog gig making money' is the universal desire of heterosexual women everywhere evidently.
@ R Mack. Naw just couldn't do it as much trouble the Sista's give me . I luv em and can't get enough of the pain they inflict on me daily...:)
@ bloop Corporate ain't going nowhere...
@ Liqour and t.v. I was too drunk to remember what dance I was doin. But now you got me humming LEAN wit it Roooll wit it at my desk...
@ chronicles My ass actually fell on th floor when Dough Boy said that shit... he had to pick me up...lol..Thank you for the compliment about my site
@ Nikki Nik...True on both ends
Two parter:
Are you gonna go the "corporate" route?
Are you gonna tell these sistas if you do?
KZ
Slish you fuck'n with white chicks now?? What part of the game is this??? WOW... This is definitely some new shit dog. I guess you were really feel'n like a loser that day. On my worst night, I would not holla a white chick. Ain't no wins in that situation right there.. Matter fact, its a problem... 400 years...
@phillylive... sing it loud, i'm black and I'm proud... thank you brother for mentioning the 400 yrs (plus)
snowflakes are more trouble than sisters any day. try getting stopped by a cop with one in your car brothers... they'll make you pay. you read the stories all over the net where teenage brothers are being incarcerated for having sex with white girls. the dads are QUICK to call statutory rape for a two year age difference. Watch your backs fellas... and your fronts.
I dont know Slish well but heard tell he could break a little white woman in two with Danger. He will have to switch back to a sista eventually...if only to avoid a trip to Emergency:
"Well Doctor, I dont know how it happened. We were um er having relations and...well no she was on top...and after a couple strokes...she yelled, orgasmed, cracked in half and broke?!?!"
"No sir, I dont think my homeowners insurance covers this type of injury..."
:-o
@ CHEZNIKI ...Lmaof. Who you been talking too...
This shit is funny. Snow Bunnies & Snow Flakes......
Dough Boy was joking that Corporate had the herpes earlier...well peep game, he need to be getting that test for real now. Kissing up on them nasty white broads he might have that shyt for real (you know they kiss dogs in the mouth and what not)...GROSS!! Ya'll betta stop messing with the force..that dark side can be a mutha!!!
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