They Call Me Slick
We all walk around thinking we're full of flaws. My lips are too big, My ass is too fat, Breast too small and Magnums don't come in my size. All kinds of shit run through our minds when it comes to how imperfect we are. But when someone else is looking at you. They don't see what you see. To them your almost perfect. To them you can do no wrong.
Back in the day when I was a teenager there was this one dude in my neighborhood that cats wanted to be like. Now he wasn't tall or well built, but he had style and an english accent. I hated and wanted to be him all at the same time.
I studied the English Man for years. Watched how he walked, talked , and dressed. Even bought roller skates cause he made it look soooo damn cool.
My senior year in high school my hard work paid off. I was that dude. Ya know!!! The guy with all the fly shit. When I walked through the hallways students would whisper " are those Red Filas he's wearing I didn't know they made that color" Four different girls asked me to the prom that year and it wasn't because of my good looks. Slish had style for days but It wasn't easy being greezy . Worked everyday afterschool just to afford half the shit I was wearing.
Today I am still that dude. My coworker Zulu is in awe of my style. When it comes to the ladies he thinks I have all the answers. If he only knew i'm just as clueless. The only thing I have over him is confidence and nice clothes. Zulu asks me " Mr Slish how many girlfriends have you had in 2005. " I say " Girlfriends or women i've slept with" Zulu laughs and responds " Girlfriends " I say " Only one in 2005 before her I just slept with any woman that was kind enough to whisper nasty curse words in my ear" He laughs even harder I say " Zulu since your wife died( many many years ago) how many girlfriends have you had." Zulu responds " None " I say" NONE!!!!!! what about that woman I saw you talking to at the elevator a month ago " Zulu studders " How How did you know I liked her " I say " Wasn't hard to tell. Soon as I walked up the both of you parted ways. Like you were trying to hide the obvious " Zulu " You are good Mr Slish you are good "
" So whats up with that situation" Zulu responds " Well Mr Slish she has 2 children , works all the time and lives waaaay upstate. My lady friend doesn't have time to date. I ask " Zulu have you even asked her out on a date" Zulu " Oh yes several times " I respond " You sure she likes you? Zulu responds" Oh yes yes she likes me. " I looked at Zulu's innocent face and didn't have the heart to tell him that his lady friend was giving him the runaround. Instead I say " Zulu next time you see your lady friend you tell her this. " Sweet heart when you get off work one day this week . I would like for you to let me have two hours of your time." She'll say " 2 hours?? For what Zulu" You'll say " Good Food, Good Company, and the oppurtunity to get to know a man that has nothing but good intentions" Zulu's face lights up like a 4 year old boy who's just discovered that playing with his wee wee is not such a bad thing and says " Yeeeeeeah I Liiike that. Your the best Mr Slish. I'll try that approach asap "
Thats right ya'll they call me SLICK
Back in the day when I was a teenager there was this one dude in my neighborhood that cats wanted to be like. Now he wasn't tall or well built, but he had style and an english accent. I hated and wanted to be him all at the same time.
I studied the English Man for years. Watched how he walked, talked , and dressed. Even bought roller skates cause he made it look soooo damn cool.
My senior year in high school my hard work paid off. I was that dude. Ya know!!! The guy with all the fly shit. When I walked through the hallways students would whisper " are those Red Filas he's wearing I didn't know they made that color" Four different girls asked me to the prom that year and it wasn't because of my good looks. Slish had style for days but It wasn't easy being greezy . Worked everyday afterschool just to afford half the shit I was wearing.
Today I am still that dude. My coworker Zulu is in awe of my style. When it comes to the ladies he thinks I have all the answers. If he only knew i'm just as clueless. The only thing I have over him is confidence and nice clothes. Zulu asks me " Mr Slish how many girlfriends have you had in 2005. " I say " Girlfriends or women i've slept with" Zulu laughs and responds " Girlfriends " I say " Only one in 2005 before her I just slept with any woman that was kind enough to whisper nasty curse words in my ear" He laughs even harder I say " Zulu since your wife died( many many years ago) how many girlfriends have you had." Zulu responds " None " I say" NONE!!!!!! what about that woman I saw you talking to at the elevator a month ago " Zulu studders " How How did you know I liked her " I say " Wasn't hard to tell. Soon as I walked up the both of you parted ways. Like you were trying to hide the obvious " Zulu " You are good Mr Slish you are good "
" So whats up with that situation" Zulu responds " Well Mr Slish she has 2 children , works all the time and lives waaaay upstate. My lady friend doesn't have time to date. I ask " Zulu have you even asked her out on a date" Zulu " Oh yes several times " I respond " You sure she likes you? Zulu responds" Oh yes yes she likes me. " I looked at Zulu's innocent face and didn't have the heart to tell him that his lady friend was giving him the runaround. Instead I say " Zulu next time you see your lady friend you tell her this. " Sweet heart when you get off work one day this week . I would like for you to let me have two hours of your time." She'll say " 2 hours?? For what Zulu" You'll say " Good Food, Good Company, and the oppurtunity to get to know a man that has nothing but good intentions" Zulu's face lights up like a 4 year old boy who's just discovered that playing with his wee wee is not such a bad thing and says " Yeeeeeeah I Liiike that. Your the best Mr Slish. I'll try that approach asap "
Thats right ya'll they call me SLICK
posted by Mr.Slish at
3/01/2006 02:00:00 AM
18 Comments:
y u settin that man for another smack down. i hope he has the confidence and personality to win her over with those lines. it takes a certain kind of person to get away with that. let me know what happens!
That shit ain't gonna work. Maybe just maybe she doesn't like him in that way. He should just ignore her and put up a good front like he suddenly busy and has no time for her. And when she approaches him to hang out, shoot her ass down.
I wonder if it's gonna work.....
I agree with sweetness...it takes a certain person to get away with certain lines. What works for you is not going to work for everyone.
You know you have that silly ass smile and you have a way about you when you want something Slish-cicle.....you don't just mosey on up to your prey...your sorta ike a panther.
Make sure you have some other "good" advice available if he gets shot down.
...@ Venom: if I am reading this right, Slish is implying that he has become the man everyone wants to be like.....is this true Venom?
"Magnums don't come in my size" - that's funny stuff.
Personally, I charge for "game"
*nice touch on the music
you gotta show me how to drop that audio on the blogs. I wanna start adding audio version to my stories.
SD (and I ain't talkin' San Diego)
if brothas only knew how much self-confidence plays in the equation of whether or not they get the ass, they'd all be getting with it. i've seen some really unattractive cats who get sex all the time because they just handle themselves as if they know they have something great to offer.
btw, while the line you gave to ya boy sounds nice, it sounds even more rehearsed and used. lol
People it might not work. But Zulu now has hope and thats half the battle.
@ nikki everything a man does or says to a woman is rehearsed or been said before...lol.
yeah, but there's a difference between 'used' and 'overused'...kinda like a woman who's had sex a couple of times vs. a woman who makes her living as a prostitute. both vaginas have been used, but i've no doubt one is probably more perky and reusable than the other.
that line you gave him was like sex with that prostitute...tired and lacking creativity and totally uninspired. LOL
@not in harlem anymore. In high school that may have been the case but I didn't know Slish back then so he could be full of shit. Fast forward to present day, I personally do not want to be like Slish and I don't if he could tell you who wants to be like him.
@Nikki. Thank you for pointing out the flaws in Slish's line to Zulu. That's why I don't listen to Slish when he tries and give me advice on what to say to women.
Confidence goes a long way in the acquiring knookie department. It works for women as well as men.
@Slish-We ladies know that the lines dudes use have been used before, by themselves, their homies, their uncles...etc. The reason why the confidence/swagger is so important is that women know whether you can get it from the first time we meet you...before you speak...sometimes speaking can put you out of the running all together! So I think swagger, confidence (and smelling good) are the most important.
So we all agree its in the delivery
@ serial the website I use to add the groovy tunes to my stories is audioblog.com
A Venom you may not listen. But yoo shoo nuff take what ever chick I point in your direction..lol
Before you started hanging with me about 2 months Post your break up with the Bitch. YO DICK SAW NO PARTS OF ANY SUGAR WALLS. How much pussy have you gotten since I grabbed you by your pony tail and said. "CMON NIGGA GO AND TAP SOME NEW ASS." I may not have given you advice but I put you in a better position to be a lean, mean,pussy licking hittin machine...
Go ahead I dare you to say it ain't true...lol
You could have also told him to ask if her if she's being listened to sufficiently. Give a broad an invitation to talk, and he'll end up in the pussy almost by default.
KZ
Cuz, the bullshit you pop'n is not going to work. For real dog. Its an art gas'n shorties up for the ass. You got to be smooth with it and his shit is going to be sloppy. Zulu will be in trouble after he spits your verse beause he will not know how to follow up.
@ PhillyLive I have faith in Zulu.. The force is strong in this one...lol
@Slish. Not true. You act as if you are responsible for all aspects of ass that I received in 2005. It is true that you wanted me to hang out with you after my break-up but only as a guinea pig. You wanted to set me up with trifling women who claimed there weren't any good men in NYC. I did get some lovin' before hanging out with you, don't get your pink panties in a bunch. 2005 was the year of the Juggernaut bitch !!!!!! LOL.
:) heLLO JUST PASSING THRU
Whatever you AINT slick...I'm sure Zulu will thank you for giving him HOPE..but it's HOES he's after. You know that shit won't work...but it will make Zulu think that it would have worked if he was YOU. Everyone needs someone to worship them. I dont blame ya. lol
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