Whats In The Plastic Bag
All of us have at least one friend thats married and cheats on their spouse. My take on that. DON'T EVER TRUST THAT PERSON!!!!. If they can cheat on the one individual they stood in CHURCH with, and vowed to honor, love and obey ( well we can forget about the obey part) they will conspire against yo ass if the oppurtunity presented itself.
3 years ago my ex buddie Fondu decided it was time for him to get married. So he popped the question to his lady love of 8 years. Their relationship was extremely rocky. One week he's in. Next week " F#%K THAT BITCH!!!! " As a matter of fact he didn't have the nerve to tell me he was getting married. Somehow he got the idea I would tell him marrying Lady Love would be a biiiiig mistake. In retrospect I could understand his hesitation.
1 year into his marriage i'm chillin in my nicely furnished Coochie palace ( I Miss That Place soooo much) Fondu calls me and asks if he could stop by. He sounded stressed so I told him come through and bring some brew ( hey that rhymes, some one call def poets PLEASE!!!)
An hr later I buzz my boy in, open the door . Fondu walks into my apt DAMN!!! this nigga looks like shit!!! . I say " Whats the matter with you? Why your eyes look so glassy and nigga when was the last time you washed your Clothes??!! " Fondu says nothing and hands me the case of beer. I walk into the kitchen to get the bottle opener . Fondu walks into my living room, sits on my nice clean couch with his raggedy ass clothes, and puts his hand over his eyes.
I walk into the living room with the beer, turn on the television and sit down on the couch next to him and say " Talk to me playboy. Whats going on" Fondu responds " Slish i'm losing her" I respond " What are you talking about " Fondu says a little louder " I'm LOSING HER!!!!!! I say " Nigga you only been a married a year. Lady Love been putting up with yo bullshit for the past eight years and still had the courage to marry you. What makes you think your losing her now" Fondu " Who says I'm talking about Lady Love. I respond" Uuuuuh Who else could you be talking about? Fondu " My mistress ASSHOLE!!!!! I'M LOSING MY MISTRESS!!!!! I respond " WHAT!!!!! you got me out my bed for that shit!!! leave my house ." Fondu " Please Please I have no one else to talk to. Just be a friend man and don't judge me."
Fondu begins to tell me his situation. I say " So your telling me you're still having a relationship with the same woman you were screwing behind Lady love's back before you guys got married" Fondu responds " Slish i'm in love with her , I can't stop thinking about her. When I walked down that isle with Lady Love I was thinking about my mistress the whole time" I say " NIGGA!!! THEN WHY DIDN"T YOU MARRY YOUR MISTRESS!!???? There was no one in your way. " Fondu " I don't know why. All I know is I still miss rubbing my whole face in her pussy" Fondu's eyes rolling to the back of his head. I start laughing and say " " "Your a mess. "
"What makes you think your losing your mistress anyway" Fondu goes into his coat pocket and pulls out a pair of binoculars and a plastic bag and says " I've been spying on her. She's been hanging out with this Biiig Black MuthaF@#ka I mean this nigga is blaaaaack!!!!! I say " What that got to do with anything" Fondu responds " You know what they say Blacker the Berry sweeter the juice and that cat is spreading his dark juices aaaaall ooooover my pussy!!!! " I say " Unless you've suddenly developed the mutant ability to levitate yo ass of the ground. How could you possibly know that. HER BEDROOM WINDOW IS ON THE SIXTH FLOOR!!!!! Fondu responds " Take a look inside the plastic bag I put on your coffee table" I say " Yeah I was wondering whats in there" Fondu " Go ahead look" I take a closer look at the bag then I pick it up and look inside. OOOOOOH SHIT THIS M@#%TH F@#%CKA gone and lost his mind !!!!!!! I say " Fondu is that is that what I think it is!!! " Fondu responds " I was at her apt the other night giving her money to pay her car insurance and I went into her bathroom and looked through her garbage and found THAT!!!!! I say " NIGGA YOU TELLING ME YOU WENT INTO THIS WOMANS GARBAGE AND PULLED OUT A USED CONDOM!!!! how do you know its not yours " Fondu responds " No waaaaay that condom is mine YOU SEE HOW BIG THAT SHIT IS. THATS A MAGNUM CONDOM!!!!! that blaaaaack muthaf@#ka is tearing up my pussy!!!! I'm gonna lose her for good SLish she ain't coming back to my little dick ass." I'm holding back the laughter cause I notice Fondu getting teary eyed.
" So Fondu while your out running the streets spying on your mistress. Where does your wife think you are? " Fondu responds " She doesn't suspect a thing she thinks i'm working. " I start scratching the back of my head and respond " Hmmmm" Fondu " What you Hmmm about " I respond " Just curious " Fondu says " Curious about what?!" I respond " Curious about WHO'S FUCKING YOUR WIFE!!!!!
Fondu up and leaves my apt.
3 years ago my ex buddie Fondu decided it was time for him to get married. So he popped the question to his lady love of 8 years. Their relationship was extremely rocky. One week he's in. Next week " F#%K THAT BITCH!!!! " As a matter of fact he didn't have the nerve to tell me he was getting married. Somehow he got the idea I would tell him marrying Lady Love would be a biiiiig mistake. In retrospect I could understand his hesitation.
1 year into his marriage i'm chillin in my nicely furnished Coochie palace ( I Miss That Place soooo much) Fondu calls me and asks if he could stop by. He sounded stressed so I told him come through and bring some brew ( hey that rhymes, some one call def poets PLEASE!!!)
An hr later I buzz my boy in, open the door . Fondu walks into my apt DAMN!!! this nigga looks like shit!!! . I say " Whats the matter with you? Why your eyes look so glassy and nigga when was the last time you washed your Clothes??!! " Fondu says nothing and hands me the case of beer. I walk into the kitchen to get the bottle opener . Fondu walks into my living room, sits on my nice clean couch with his raggedy ass clothes, and puts his hand over his eyes.
I walk into the living room with the beer, turn on the television and sit down on the couch next to him and say " Talk to me playboy. Whats going on" Fondu responds " Slish i'm losing her" I respond " What are you talking about " Fondu says a little louder " I'm LOSING HER!!!!!! I say " Nigga you only been a married a year. Lady Love been putting up with yo bullshit for the past eight years and still had the courage to marry you. What makes you think your losing her now" Fondu " Who says I'm talking about Lady Love. I respond" Uuuuuh Who else could you be talking about? Fondu " My mistress ASSHOLE!!!!! I'M LOSING MY MISTRESS!!!!! I respond " WHAT!!!!! you got me out my bed for that shit!!! leave my house ." Fondu " Please Please I have no one else to talk to. Just be a friend man and don't judge me."
Fondu begins to tell me his situation. I say " So your telling me you're still having a relationship with the same woman you were screwing behind Lady love's back before you guys got married" Fondu responds " Slish i'm in love with her , I can't stop thinking about her. When I walked down that isle with Lady Love I was thinking about my mistress the whole time" I say " NIGGA!!! THEN WHY DIDN"T YOU MARRY YOUR MISTRESS!!???? There was no one in your way. " Fondu " I don't know why. All I know is I still miss rubbing my whole face in her pussy" Fondu's eyes rolling to the back of his head. I start laughing and say " " "Your a mess. "
"What makes you think your losing your mistress anyway" Fondu goes into his coat pocket and pulls out a pair of binoculars and a plastic bag and says " I've been spying on her. She's been hanging out with this Biiig Black MuthaF@#ka I mean this nigga is blaaaaack!!!!! I say " What that got to do with anything" Fondu responds " You know what they say Blacker the Berry sweeter the juice and that cat is spreading his dark juices aaaaall ooooover my pussy!!!! " I say " Unless you've suddenly developed the mutant ability to levitate yo ass of the ground. How could you possibly know that. HER BEDROOM WINDOW IS ON THE SIXTH FLOOR!!!!! Fondu responds " Take a look inside the plastic bag I put on your coffee table" I say " Yeah I was wondering whats in there" Fondu " Go ahead look" I take a closer look at the bag then I pick it up and look inside. OOOOOOH SHIT THIS M@#%TH F@#%CKA gone and lost his mind !!!!!!! I say " Fondu is that is that what I think it is!!! " Fondu responds " I was at her apt the other night giving her money to pay her car insurance and I went into her bathroom and looked through her garbage and found THAT!!!!! I say " NIGGA YOU TELLING ME YOU WENT INTO THIS WOMANS GARBAGE AND PULLED OUT A USED CONDOM!!!! how do you know its not yours " Fondu responds " No waaaaay that condom is mine YOU SEE HOW BIG THAT SHIT IS. THATS A MAGNUM CONDOM!!!!! that blaaaaack muthaf@#ka is tearing up my pussy!!!! I'm gonna lose her for good SLish she ain't coming back to my little dick ass." I'm holding back the laughter cause I notice Fondu getting teary eyed.
" So Fondu while your out running the streets spying on your mistress. Where does your wife think you are? " Fondu responds " She doesn't suspect a thing she thinks i'm working. " I start scratching the back of my head and respond " Hmmmm" Fondu " What you Hmmm about " I respond " Just curious " Fondu says " Curious about what?!" I respond " Curious about WHO'S FUCKING YOUR WIFE!!!!!
Fondu up and leaves my apt.
posted by Mr.Slish at
3/16/2006 02:42:00 AM
14 Comments:
listen...i was cracking up the whole way thru.
this is so real and pitiful...lol
nice blog
I remember you telling me about this cat awhile ago, he's dumbass. My advice to him that day "Nigga if you can't hit bottom then fuck up sides......then you have to worry about her leaving your short dick ass.
LMAO
man, your friend IS a mess. hopefully he got that all sorted out.
men are idiots...
glad you threw in that last line...wake his ig'nant ass up.
slishy...you'd NEVER do this ...would you?!
That's wild! That whole situation is a mess. Love the site by the way. *besos*
Toooooo funny!
@ Robert Mack. Let me tell ya something. Love can get you to the alter but it doesn't keep you married. Honesty and commitment are the keys to a good marriage not a pretty face or a fat ass
Beauty Fades Bruh. The mind always remains the same.
@ The rest of you. My boy Fondu got married for the wrong reasons. One day I asked " Fondu why do you want to marry Lady Love" He says " Cause she deserves it" Not Slish I love her and want to build my life with her. Fondu's time was up and he knew it. Lady Love was going to leave his ass if he didn't step up. Fear caused Fondu and whole lot of other brothas to get married. Fear of being alone and fear that another Nucca's DICK will pleasure that warm wet climate they know so well.
@Slish-Johnny Taylor sang, "Who's making love to your old lady, while you were out making love?"
I guess you were asking this brother the same thing, LOL
Did he ever answer the one about why he didnt just marry the Mistress in the first place?
@Venom-You need to teach a seminar for those Brothers who aint hitting the back, the sides, or the ankles. Like I told Zed. Each One Teach One!
;-D
I only know one faithful married brother. One. As soon as I think I know another one, I get to know them better and the truth comes out.
We are who we are, for better or worse.
KZ
Did ya boy jump out your window after that? Classic. You're hilarious.
I am over here dying........In a way I hope this is not a true story....
Let me tell ya something. Love can get you to the alter but it doesn't keep you married. Honesty and commitment are the keys to a good marriage not a pretty face or a fat ass
^^^^^^^^CHUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCHHHHHHHHHH
GOOD ONE SLISH!!! I couldn't have said it better myself. That shit is hilarious again. I remember when you told me that shit the first time. What would be perfect is if that big black MF'er was doing his wife too. Karma is a bitch!!
Iam om over here SCREAMIN! Too hilarious!!!!
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