I Need A Sign
"Sweetie since your between places right now. Move in with me you don't have to pay any rent. Save your money for that condo you want to buy." That is what I said to Butterscotch in 1999 the year I moved into my own apt. She said no. For a month straight I kept asking her to move in and everytime she said NO. I finally got a clue. After 4 years of that back and forth Bullshit Butterscotch had fallen out of love with me. I had broken up with her so many times she didn't trust anything that came out of my mouth. Woman was fed up. We broke up for good shortly after. I haven't heard from or seen her since.
For 3 years I ran the streets. Wasn't going to get caught up in another relationship. I promised myself if I met a woman that I wouldn't think twice about cheating on. Slish would make her his lady. So I hit the internet haaaard. Blackplanet.com was my playground. I met Brownsuga, Earth224, Lilac Jewel, Cat, and The Bugger. I thought the Bugger was the one. When we met she seemed perfect. Attentive, Good listener, Domesticated and my parents loved her probably cause she was Jamaican. Most west indian Parents would rather their children marry someone with the same roots.
Somewhere along the way The Bugger lost her damn mind. Cuss words were her choice of weapons when we had an argument. If we went out in public or social gatherings the most important time to look like a match made in heaven. The Bugger rather us in Hell!!! cause as soon as anyone looked at her face they knew we were arguing. She couldn't hide it. That right there can become embarassing. Got tired of making excuses. I broke up with her after a 1 yr 1/2 . Now that I look back it was the right thing for me to do. She met someone 8 months later who was better suited for her personality.
Fast forward to 2006 and i'm back at that same crossroad. Should I stay or should I let her go and find someone who is best suited for her personality. The more I try to fit into her world the more awkward the situation becomes.
Actions speaks louder than words. Right now her actions are yelling at me something fierce. Now i'm not giving up. My daddy didn't raise a quitter, but I need a sign something that tells me this pit I feel in my stomach is just temporary.
For 3 years I ran the streets. Wasn't going to get caught up in another relationship. I promised myself if I met a woman that I wouldn't think twice about cheating on. Slish would make her his lady. So I hit the internet haaaard. Blackplanet.com was my playground. I met Brownsuga, Earth224, Lilac Jewel, Cat, and The Bugger. I thought the Bugger was the one. When we met she seemed perfect. Attentive, Good listener, Domesticated and my parents loved her probably cause she was Jamaican. Most west indian Parents would rather their children marry someone with the same roots.
Somewhere along the way The Bugger lost her damn mind. Cuss words were her choice of weapons when we had an argument. If we went out in public or social gatherings the most important time to look like a match made in heaven. The Bugger rather us in Hell!!! cause as soon as anyone looked at her face they knew we were arguing. She couldn't hide it. That right there can become embarassing. Got tired of making excuses. I broke up with her after a 1 yr 1/2 . Now that I look back it was the right thing for me to do. She met someone 8 months later who was better suited for her personality.
Fast forward to 2006 and i'm back at that same crossroad. Should I stay or should I let her go and find someone who is best suited for her personality. The more I try to fit into her world the more awkward the situation becomes.
Actions speaks louder than words. Right now her actions are yelling at me something fierce. Now i'm not giving up. My daddy didn't raise a quitter, but I need a sign something that tells me this pit I feel in my stomach is just temporary.
posted by Mr.Slish at
2/14/2006 12:00:00 AM
4 Comments:
.......*blank stare*.....
I like this post...yet...it's hitting home. This relationship shit can suck sometimes...and right now...it sucks like crazy.
Hope yours get's better...or rather...is what you need it to be for you.
***deafening silence***
Hmmm so what are you gonna do Hammer? You seemed to be at a point where you hear one thing but see things that contradict those words. I know it's not the first time you've experienced this in your current relationship. Stop turning a blind eye to what is bothering you in this relationship and drop that "Don't ask, won't tell" policy I think you have adopted. So what are you gonna do?
Hmmmmmm. That's a tough one. But if your gut is talking to you right now, then perhaps you should listen to what its saying. But then again, it could be nothing. I don't know. I hope everything works out for you how it's supposed to.
I dont know the whole story, but go with your gut
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