A Lovely Day
Saturday afternoon i'm done watching my netflix dvds. I look at the cable box its 12:30 pm. Time to get washed up for my date with Shawnla. Why was I getting ready so early? My buddy Chicago Brown told me 2 WEEKS AGO!!!!! that he wanted to submit a short film into the African American Film Festival. Deadline APRIL 7TH!!!!! Ya see Chicago Brown is somewhat of a con man. He has this way of getting people to do shit. So somehow he bamboozled me into being the producer for every movie he chooses to direct. This time around he tricked me into co writing the script and helping him audition actors, therfore Slish had to be in the city by 3 pm.
I shave my head, face, and pluck every noticible gray hair from my chin. My costume for the evening. Dark Blue Blazer, Black V neck tee, jeans and my " Slish might be gay shoes" I check my self out in the mirror " Shiiiiit. I should have played the lead in that movie Brown Suga. I'm out the door.
Batmobile is cruising down Mosholu parkway headed towards the Henry Hudson South. As I'm merging onto the Henry Hudson Parkway I look in my rear view mirror. No cars behind me so I can slow down a little without the fear of another car striking The Batmobile from the rear. Slish Sense starts to tingle. I look in my rearview mirror again. AWW HELLL!!!!! I hope she's gonna slow down her car coming at me kinda fast. OH SHIT!!!!! This woman is looking to the right not noticing the Batmobile. Quick Slish think!!! Shit!!! I can't speed up because the car in front of me is moving too damn slow!!! Quick Slish WHAAAAM!!!! too late . The Batmobile has been struck.
I pull The Batmobile over and look at my rearview mirror. Whoa!!! That car was f@cked up the front end looked like it hit an Suv. I start to worry cause the lady gets out of the car and she's wobbling and confused . I jump out of the car and run to her " Mam are you okay? Please sit down so I can take a look at you. " Lady" I'm sooooo sorry i'm sooo sorry " I say " Don't worry about that please sit down " Lady " My wrist its soooo painful " I say " Mam can you wiggle your fingers" She does what I ask " Goood thats a positive sign that your hand is not broken"
The police arrive about 10 minutes later . They ask both of us for our License, registration and Insurance cards. Of course I can't find my insurance cards right away. Two minutes later I find them in an envelope in my glove compartment. I jump out of The Batmobile and give it to the officer. Its cold so I walk back to my car, pull the door and its LOCKED!!! its okay car keys must be in my jeans pocket. Quickly I start digging and NOTHING!!!!! I peek into the drivers side window F@CK F@CK F@CK !!!!!!! The keys are on the passengers side seat. SHIT!!!!!! My car is hit, My keys are in the car. I need to call someone and have them come and pick me up so I can get my spare key. I reach into my pocket again AAAAAGGHHHHH!!! NO CELL PHONE!!!! WTF!!!! I start looking around for Ashtun Kutcher to jump out the bushes and say YOU'VE BEEN PUNKED!!!! cause my dumb ass left my cell phone in the CAR!!!!!!!
Tow truck comes about 20 minutes later. I ask the driver if he can jimmy my door open. Driver " Nah son we don't do that, but I can tow you off the highway " I say " Kewl " Driver " Its gonna cost you 75 dollars" I say " FOR WHAT!!!!. So you can tow me 1 mile off the parkway!!!! Hell Noo!!!" Driver " You don't have a choice, if you leave your car here it will get towed by the city and that will cost you waaay more than 75 dollars" This nigga trying to hustle my ass.!!! I walk over to the officers to verify what the tow truck driver was saying" Officer " He's right Mr Slish you can't leave your car on the parkway " I'm fuming now " Slasher says " Officer do you have a billy club or crowbar I can use? Officer " Why ? Slasher responds " SO I CAN BREAK THE WINDOW ON THE DRIVERS SIDE OF MY CAR!!!! CAUSE I AM NOT ABOUT TO PAY THIS M@#THF@KCA 75.00 to tow my car 1 mile!!!! Officer starts laughing aand actually started to look around the cop car.
10 Minutes later Slish gains control of the Slasher and agrees to have the batmobile towed off the parkway.
Okay so
75.00 for the tow actually 80.00 cause the Jackass driver doesn't have change
20 dollars for the cab ride home and
Shawnla giving me the warmest smile as we walked arm in arm down 44 th street later that evening
PRICELESS!!!!!!
I shave my head, face, and pluck every noticible gray hair from my chin. My costume for the evening. Dark Blue Blazer, Black V neck tee, jeans and my " Slish might be gay shoes" I check my self out in the mirror " Shiiiiit. I should have played the lead in that movie Brown Suga. I'm out the door.
Batmobile is cruising down Mosholu parkway headed towards the Henry Hudson South. As I'm merging onto the Henry Hudson Parkway I look in my rear view mirror. No cars behind me so I can slow down a little without the fear of another car striking The Batmobile from the rear. Slish Sense starts to tingle. I look in my rearview mirror again. AWW HELLL!!!!! I hope she's gonna slow down her car coming at me kinda fast. OH SHIT!!!!! This woman is looking to the right not noticing the Batmobile. Quick Slish think!!! Shit!!! I can't speed up because the car in front of me is moving too damn slow!!! Quick Slish WHAAAAM!!!! too late . The Batmobile has been struck.
I pull The Batmobile over and look at my rearview mirror. Whoa!!! That car was f@cked up the front end looked like it hit an Suv. I start to worry cause the lady gets out of the car and she's wobbling and confused . I jump out of the car and run to her " Mam are you okay? Please sit down so I can take a look at you. " Lady" I'm sooooo sorry i'm sooo sorry " I say " Don't worry about that please sit down " Lady " My wrist its soooo painful " I say " Mam can you wiggle your fingers" She does what I ask " Goood thats a positive sign that your hand is not broken"
The police arrive about 10 minutes later . They ask both of us for our License, registration and Insurance cards. Of course I can't find my insurance cards right away. Two minutes later I find them in an envelope in my glove compartment. I jump out of The Batmobile and give it to the officer. Its cold so I walk back to my car, pull the door and its LOCKED!!! its okay car keys must be in my jeans pocket. Quickly I start digging and NOTHING!!!!! I peek into the drivers side window F@CK F@CK F@CK !!!!!!! The keys are on the passengers side seat. SHIT!!!!!! My car is hit, My keys are in the car. I need to call someone and have them come and pick me up so I can get my spare key. I reach into my pocket again AAAAAGGHHHHH!!! NO CELL PHONE!!!! WTF!!!! I start looking around for Ashtun Kutcher to jump out the bushes and say YOU'VE BEEN PUNKED!!!! cause my dumb ass left my cell phone in the CAR!!!!!!!
Tow truck comes about 20 minutes later. I ask the driver if he can jimmy my door open. Driver " Nah son we don't do that, but I can tow you off the highway " I say " Kewl " Driver " Its gonna cost you 75 dollars" I say " FOR WHAT!!!!. So you can tow me 1 mile off the parkway!!!! Hell Noo!!!" Driver " You don't have a choice, if you leave your car here it will get towed by the city and that will cost you waaay more than 75 dollars" This nigga trying to hustle my ass.!!! I walk over to the officers to verify what the tow truck driver was saying" Officer " He's right Mr Slish you can't leave your car on the parkway " I'm fuming now " Slasher says " Officer do you have a billy club or crowbar I can use? Officer " Why ? Slasher responds " SO I CAN BREAK THE WINDOW ON THE DRIVERS SIDE OF MY CAR!!!! CAUSE I AM NOT ABOUT TO PAY THIS M@#THF@KCA 75.00 to tow my car 1 mile!!!! Officer starts laughing aand actually started to look around the cop car.
10 Minutes later Slish gains control of the Slasher and agrees to have the batmobile towed off the parkway.
Okay so
75.00 for the tow actually 80.00 cause the Jackass driver doesn't have change
20 dollars for the cab ride home and
Shawnla giving me the warmest smile as we walked arm in arm down 44 th street later that evening
PRICELESS!!!!!!
posted by Mr.Slish at
3/28/2006 02:00:00 AM
20 Comments:
OMG! Well that happened to me once up here in Boston, but the Firemen jimmied the lock for me, thank God!
...I also found one of those nasty grey hairs in my new afro and almost passed out. All my friends have several already, but Im way too young and cute for greys!!!! LOL
that's one helluva weekend Mr. Slish! glad u made it thru. survival of The Batmobile crash AND Shawnia? gotta love it.
What do mean by "Slish MIGHT be gay shoes". Negro you know you love getting hit from the back, that's why you were so calm after the "accident".
Car accidents are the worse, I have been in a few and they are no fun especially when it's your car that's being hit. I hope Alfred can fix up the Batmobile like new without issue.
Damn, that was a fucked up little episode. I believe that's the definition of making lemonade outta fuckin' lemons!
KZ
At least u still got to go on your date....what's gonna happen now? is your car totally dammaged?
the drama never ends. ummmmm something sturing with this shawnla gurl. one day at a time!
That is messed up! At least the day ended well.
lol @ Venom
sorry to hear about our car slishy.... it'll all be better soon. well at least it better be....spring just started and we have the whole summer in front of us...LOL
hope shawnla enjoyed the play.
glad your ok...fa real!
@ Chezniki my gray hairs will not be seen until I turn 40.
@ Ej I survived and got to the play ontime using a damaged Batmobile.
@ Venom I was calm because I knew later on. I would be playing slap and tickle with your STEP MAMA!!!!!
@ Zed Can't keep a good Brotha down.
@ New Booty My car isn't totaled. dropped the Batmobile off to my body guy today. My insurance policy allows me to rent a car while mine is in the shop. So I went to enterprise and the service rep tells me " Mr slish do you know your insurance policy allows you to rent a car for up to 100.00 a day I respond " Uh yeah so" Rep responds" Meaning you can have any car on this lot Playboy" HAHAHAAAA!!!!! I say "Quick give me the Chyrsler 300!!!
@ Sweetness nothing stirring with Shawnla. She needs time to get herself together.
@ Paula D. Any day that I'm still alive ends well..lol
@ Agent 99 Shawnla enjoyed the play and I enjoyed her company.
@ R Mack The night ended with a kiss on my cheek and her son giving me a pound as he got out of the car. That was good enough for me. Shawnla needed to get out and have some fun. I was glad I was able to help her do just that...
You sure are calm after having a car accident. And you were able to still go on a date that night. Good for you!
Only you. You have an odd way of turning the bad into not so bad afterall. Glad to hear your date or whatever you call it when you hang with Shawnla, went well.
wait, did that car thing really happen, or was that part of the film you were directing?
lol@ the gay snake skin slippers you wore
But she rear ended you right? Shouldn't she be paying for everything, i.e. your car rental?
@ Liqour I got into a car accident on my way to the auditons for the short film i'm producing...
My insurance will cover my car rental and hers will cover the Batmobile
ah, ok cool
take care
Awww...I love happy endings. I actually got a lil tingle. lol The softer, more vulnerable side of Slish. Love it!
What insurance compnay u got? My rental covers up to $30 a day.......Im salted now
@ ms new Booty ALLSTATE BABY!!!!
@ So Wise Hmmm where exactly did you feel that tingle ?
O.K. Slish..... this was THEE funniest shit I've heard in a minute (not laughing at your misfortune) but laughing at MYSELF because I have
SUCH.A.BAD.CASE.OF.ROAD.RAGE
that THAT bitch wouldn'ta got out her SEATBELT before my ass woulda been up IN and down her throat and in her face calling her all kinds of dumb-ass-cockeyed bitches, dumb-ass-hoes, and backwood-cracker-jack-box-driver's-license-having skanks! I prolly woulda been taken to jail on that night. Naw but for real. If she hit me due to something like someone hit her and it wa a chain reaction, i'd have a LITTLE (emphasis on the little cause YO ASS STILLLLLLLLLL shoulda been paying a-fuckin-ttention) bit of restraint.
But in this case, this hoe was fuckin around and NOT paying attention and you have NOW fucked up MY PROPERTY......awwww....bitch you gots to pay.......
I need therapy..... i know.....
But glad ya date went well :-)
Glad I'm in Florida.
Glad you were ok but quietly I'm thinking that the accident might of been the universe tryna stop your azz from going on that dayum date with a broad that clearly ain't got her isssh together.
She don't want to get down but she wanna date and whatnot...HUNH?
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