Phantom Zone

It was my senior year in high school. My guidance counselor told me I had to take some kind of science class in order to graduate. I had been trying to avoid that. Since the last science class I was in turned me into a cheating back stabbing nutcase. Cause when yo boy Slish got caught! Errrrrboooody was going down with him! Thats what happens when your parents force you to go to school with Paranoid white boys. We all know when white folks get caught doing something unmentionable(Enron) everybody involved goes down.


Anyway I digress. I picked pyschology. How hard could that class be. My boys thought I was already waay to cerebral. Seemed like a perfect fit. Then I got the text book that almost broke my desk in half. "READ! YOU WANT ME TO READ!!!! Awww hell!" Guidance counselor " Mr Slish you need this class. You've already failed Mythlogy " I respond " How could I fail a class that a teacher stopped teaching! She QUIT in the middle of the semester! " Guidance counselor " Correct but you were supposed to pick up another english class which you never bothered to do. So now you have to take Pyschology and Advanced English Literature" I respond "DA HELL!!!! Are you mad MAN! Advanced literature! Wh Why would you give me that class !" Guidance Counselor " It was the only english class available" I say " And I'm supposed to graduate WHEN ! 1990!!!! " Slamming his door on the way out.

I go to my pyschology class and drop that heavy ass book on the floor next to my desk mumbling to myself " I can't believe this shit. I ain't never gonna graduate" Then she walks in! Mocha complexion, Jet black hair curled upward. Tight jeans that stopped at her ankles. She was poetry in motion. When I noticed her coming my way I immediately sat up! My frown turned into the smile Eddie Murphy had in Coming to America.

She sits down next to me. I try not to stare, but I couldn't help it. She was so pretty and poised. You know. Hands on the desk, legs tightly tucked underneath. She catches me! She smiles! Then looks me up and down and says " You think you're fly huh " I respond " "Excuse me?" She says " Your sneakers. Noooobody has a pair of Eliesse's in this entire high school. You must not be from around here" She was right on both counts. My sneakers were rare and I wasn't from around there. I lived in a different county altogether. Not only was she beautiful but perceptive too" I respond " Ummm i'm from around here" She asks " Where? " I wave my finger in the air and respond while nodding my head " Around Here! " She laughs and responds " Yeah right. I know where you're from " I start to get nervous because if it ever got out that I was from the Bronx and attending school courtesy of The New Rochelle residents tax dollar. Slish would not be part of the graduateing class of 1987. She continues " Your secret is safe with me" I respond " How did you know? " She " My boyfriend told me " I respond " Who's your boyfriend " She says " Matador he's in your history class " DAMN!!! There goes my love connection. I sigh and say " You must be Nessa "

That whole semester Nessa and I grew closer becoming really good friends. I was crushing on her something terrible. I even started studying and taking detailed notes in class just in case Nessa was out sick and needed to catch up. Although I hated that Matador was her boyfriend and he didn't appreciate her the way I did . He was still a good friend to me so I never told her how I really felt. Decided I would just admire her from a far.


8 years later Nessa and I rekindled our friendship and started hanging out since we were both living in the same county. Immediately those feelings I had in High School came rushing back. Before I knew it! I was in love with a woman I had never kissed or fondled. I mean back then I wasn't a playa but I did crush a lot, therefore this was new territory for me. So I decided once again to keep my feelings to myself.

Eventually me not telling Nessa how I really felt started to take its toll on me. We would go out to clubs and if I saw her talking to some other dude. Oh! and let it be someone I knew! I would instantly turn into that beeeatch The Slasher and cause all kinds of problems. It got so bad my boy Grantlove had to call me on it "Nigga if you don't stop acting like some punk bitch and tell that chick how you really feel. Its going to eat you alive! The only thing she could could say is no and NO ain't never killed nobody" I say " No will definitely kill me. I cant take that kind of rejection" Grantlove " How do you know! You haven't even tried. You just gonna stand there and let some other dude snatch her away from you! I say " Shut up" Grantlove laughs " Time waits for no man bruh " and hangs up


I pick up the phone to call Nessa and there is a female voice on the other end " Slish?" I respond" Nessa ? " Whoa! This must be a sign. I play it cool and respond " Hey. Whats up " Nessa responds " Oh nothing just calling just to call " She's calling me to say hi! Nessa continues " Figured I would check on you since you've been acting kinda weird lately " WEIRD! Just because I want you to turn me into your love slave doesn't make me WEIRD! I respond " Have I ? Nessa " Yeah that mood swing you had at the club the other night. What was that? " That was me wanting to take you home and say MINE MINE MINE!!! I say " I have something i've been wanting to tell you for quite some time now. Its the reason why i've been acting so strange " Nessa " What is it? Are you okay ? I respond " I'm fine. Its just that, Damn this is so hard to say " Nessa " Just say it Slish " I say " I like you Nessa. I think i'm in love with you. " Nessa" Awwwww Slish I love you too" SHE LOVES ME SHE LOVES ME " but as a friend." RECORD SCRATCHING " That is the only kind of love I could ever offer you" SEE! THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR LISTENING TO DR. GRANTLOVE !

2 years later Nessa and I are still good friends despite the fact she ripped out my heart and shoved it up my ass. We're on the phone one afternoon I say " How the fellas treating you. Seeing anybody ? Nessa " Yeeeah Kinda " I ask " Who? " Nessa " Hmmm Lets just say he's a professional ballplayer" I respond " Oh really Football, Baseball or Basketball" Nessa " Basketball, thats all i'm gonna tell you" I say " Hmph Well he must play for a NY team because you're not into long distance relationships " Nessa " Stop digging Sliiiiish. I'm not going to tell you. " I say " Thats cool. He' s probably a bench warmer ANYWAY! " Nessa blurts " Chris isn't a bench warmer! " I yell " I gotcha!!! Chris Childs. You're dating Chris Childs from the Knicks! Nessa " I hate you! Always figuring shit out. You better not tell anyone!" I laugh and think to myself You better not tell anyone cause that dude is married with three kids, but since Nessa didn't follow sports she wouldn't know that now would she. I say " Your secret is safe with me"


3 Months later Nessa's Romance comes tumbling down. I say " You found out he was married didn't you " Nessa " Yeeah how did WAIT A MINUTE you let me date this man knowing he was married ! I respond " Ummm yup" Nessa " How could you Slish" I respond " You sounded so happy at the time besides if I had told. Would you have believed me or classified me as a hater because of the feelings I once had for you" Nessa " You got a point it wasn't your place to tell me it was his. I feel like shit Slish " I respond " Its alright everybody makes mistakes. The next guy you meet will worship the ground you walk on." Nessa " Yeah right. The well is dry right now" I scratch my head Maaaaaaan I know I shouldn't do this but this woman needs a pick me up. I say " Nessa I have this friend. I think you might like him. He' s intelligent, well mannered, and is attending Wharton Business School. Nessa " Wharton ! " she must have smelled the dollar signs. Ness continues " Whats his name? " I respond " Corporate Corporate America "


2 weeks later Corporate calls me " EEhhh Booooy. Thanks for the connect with Nessa " I respond " What are you talking about" Corporate " She came down here to Philly and blazed me lovely " There goes that fucking record scratching noise again! I respond " You fucked her. ALREADY! " Corporate responds " Thats what I do" I was pissed! But I wasn't going to let Corporate know that I say " She must really like you" Corporate " Yeah well I hope she knows I don't have time for a relationship right now" I wanted to throw my phone through a fucking window! I put this woman on pedestal and this nigga just tosses her like a wet rag. I HATE MY LIFE!!!!

I realised something that day. The reason Nessa didn't want to get with me wasn't because I was unattractive or vertically challenged( Corporate and I are the same height) which is what I had originally thought.

1. I should have told her how I felt before she put me in the friend zone and we all know the friend zone is like the phantom zone.

2. I didn't look good enough on paper. I had no college degree and a blue collar job. I wasn't even in her league.

Yeah it sounds like I was feeling sorry for myself but it was the truth. Why be bitter because Nessa had worked hard to get her degree and post graduate degree, Why be bitter because she wanted financial security, Why be bitter at all. She was Just a project chick that done good.