The Beatdown
I'm back. Its been a rough 5 days. Well not really just figured I would come up with an excuse for not posting anything new.
Yesterday I get an email from Brown Suga this is what it said " Hi Babe,
Got your message but was in the middle of crazy work. My brother was out again this weekend to help me with the final repairs/installation and we were on a mission to finish. I actually got to bed at 1:30am. Half asleep right now. This weather doesn't help. All that's left to be done now is some sewing (curtains), a little decorating (putting out/hanging my pictures that were never unwrapped), etc.
How was your weekend?
I respond " Hey sweet heart...I was just checking on you...repairs and installation of what....
She responds "we shopped (got my audio cabinet, triangle stand for behind the love seat, 2 lamps, chairs for the backyard); we installed curtain rods, hanging plant holders, (hammock, but returned that); replaced 2 empty spots in the bathroom wall (where I removed the cup/toothbrush ceramic holders) w/new tiles; worked on the yard (planted flowers, raked up the dead pine cones that were stopping the new grass seeds that I had planted months ago from growing, cut, reseeded & fertilized the lawn). Organized and cleaned up the basement; layed down new speaker wires; stapled telephone, cable and speaker wires down; etc. etc.
How was your weekend?
Now this is when keeping it real can go horribly wrong.
I respond with "Whoa...Now i'm glad i'm not yo man..thats a lot of work... I don't think I want a house....I'll stick with a real nice condo..dayum...my weekend was the same as always work sleep and work "
She responds "Smart azz, we know U afraid of hard work/exercise, - man position is applicable, you won't pass the physical though, lol.
Now i'm thinking that was some fasty shit so I respond " Thats right..Thats why I have to make a lot of money...hire someone to do stuff like that...lol...as for the physical I already passed that...
Brown suga responds " Yes, U better get rich or stick to building living, I think house ownership would frustrate and kill U. As for paying someone else to do it, you better be rich, rich so you can either (a) stay home days and supervise, (b) hire a foreman to watch your workmen, or (c) get yourself a wife to order them around and spend the loot on upgrades. Either way, your pockets gonna feel it, lol. As for passing the physical, you forfeited that test. You do pass the juk test with flying colors though. Too bad its only 20% of your overall grade.
Now that was a jab. I return with a combination and respond " Yuh backside..yuh fasty bad....My pockets ain't gone feel shit I'm more resourceful than you could ever imagine....and I can't forfeit a test I was never asked to take.. besides the juk test is waaaay more than 20 % of my grade and don't front...cause if the jooking wasn't good I would never have been asked to come back for a second interview or take a physical exam.... Holla back youngin we could do this allll day...lol
SCOOOORE SCORE!!!!!! NOT!!!! she responds " you wanna go there, huh? all day....
You're right, you're mad resourceful - you barter better than most, its as if U really was born and raised in the Caribbean. But no amount of bartering, exchange of favors etc. works for long for homeowners, sooner or later all dem favors will have been called in and peeps start to duck U. Plus, as a man, did U figure in the "he's a punk" whispers if U get everyone else fi carry your manual labor?
As for the forfeit, I forfeited U. U failed the verbal pop quiz miserably, so I didn't think there was any point giving U the actual test.
What, U been out of school so long you forget that testing is done on a point scale system? Grading is subjective. Summer school is short-term, only accounts for so much so a 20% grade there isn't the same as say - a 20% grade in grad school. Since you so proud of your pipe-laying ability and I'm trying to reform mi mean ways - I'll give U a grade of 90% for your performance in this interim class (summer) since you accomplished the only work required. In terms of your long-term education - grade point still stands at 20%, as your work shows U've excelled in only 1/5th of the required course load. You might need tutoring, or could it be that you've never been taught proper work/study and implementation habits? Either way....
Now that was an upper cut. She drew blood with that shit. I'm Big Daddy Slish I MUST RESPOND!!!!! here goes " First no one ever ducks Big Daddy & I don't care what people think..you should know that by now...
As for your verbal pop quiz & my work habits ...when ever I start a new job. I never know if I'm going to like it..so I under achieve until I figure out if I want to keep the position......so you'll never know what my true potential could have been
Yeah Yeah take that take that. Suga responds" Bad way to do business, start a relationship etc. Makes the consumer think the product is either defective or the value isn't worth the $ or the effort so its already depreciating and its expected to never reach its potential, essentially short-term trash or cheap goods to be used up and discarded.
I didn't understand what she said but I know she dissed me. I come back with "You're using a poor analogy all those big words stuck up in your brain you can't even stay on the same page..too smart for your own good
When I decide to leave a position or get fired whichever comes first..both parties don't feel bad cause expectations were low anyway.
Just when I thought it was over and BANG!!!! over hand right to the temple Her Response " Getting frustrated? A sure sign is the slinging of insults. I'm not gonna get down on your level, I'm not gonna get "mean". The system obviously works for U, so do keep using it. The thing is, since U never give your all, the seeker will easily peg U in a certain category and keep U there. They won't be too inclined to move you out of the pigeonhole they've already have U in because they don't think U have the potential to do/give more. Since most relationships start out all shiny, untarnished, everyone on they're best behavior, people bending over backwards to please, etc.; it slacks off with time (ever heard of "familiarity breeds contempt"? - that's when you're comfortable enough to fart/belch around them, start pissin' all over the toilet seat, women start getting plump, etc.) why would anyone assume that "its gonna get better" over the beginning's poor, average or mediocre? Expectations that are "low", might also spell "none".
BROWN SUGA HAS KNOCKED SLISH DOWN !!!!!! I stagger to get up & grab the rope and respond with " Is that how you really feel about me?
BANG!!!!! another over hand right to the other side of my head She responds with " The gloves come off right now. Forget being nice.
You're amazing U know that? I suggest you start to actually think about what U say and to whom, the impression U give... Start thinking about what you have to offer... Better yet, reverse the situation and put yourself in my shoes.
You forget I know U. I knew U when U had some things going on, the illusion of something to offer. You done gone and given your best to a "girl child" now you wanna turn around and bring me, a successful grown woman, your "dregs and left"? U must think I'm desperate. U must think I'm ugly, poor, stupid, on drugs or crazy. U must think that I NEED or WANT what you've got. Don't ever forget that ego and stupidity are the quickest way to kill desire.
I think you've been feeding your alter ego for so long, its done clouded your brain. Or maybe Big Daddy Slish has U thinking he can get anyone he's slayed cause he's just that impressive. I think you need to fire Big Daddy, obviously he's not as good a "Chief Operating Officer" as you think. He's mismanaging your "press", he's the worse mouthpiece and is definitely leading your company to the point of no return. Your company definitely needs a reorganization, you might think of replacing him with Mr. Brain or Mr. Heart.
I'm down again. DIZZY AS F&$%K NOW!!!!!!! HOW DO I RESPOND TO THAT!!!! Brown suga has obviously been harboring these feelings for quite some time. I'm about to call Spike Lee for copy write infringment "CAUSE SHE HATE ME"
I get up. Brush my shoulders off fix my jaw and throw in the towel and respond with "That was mean I mean really mean...felt like a slap...I'm sorry and I won't be bothering you anymore.
I'm humming Michael Jackson's "She's out of my life " now.
Yesterday I get an email from Brown Suga this is what it said " Hi Babe,
Got your message but was in the middle of crazy work. My brother was out again this weekend to help me with the final repairs/installation and we were on a mission to finish. I actually got to bed at 1:30am. Half asleep right now. This weather doesn't help. All that's left to be done now is some sewing (curtains), a little decorating (putting out/hanging my pictures that were never unwrapped), etc.
How was your weekend?
I respond " Hey sweet heart...I was just checking on you...repairs and installation of what....
She responds "we shopped (got my audio cabinet, triangle stand for behind the love seat, 2 lamps, chairs for the backyard); we installed curtain rods, hanging plant holders, (hammock, but returned that); replaced 2 empty spots in the bathroom wall (where I removed the cup/toothbrush ceramic holders) w/new tiles; worked on the yard (planted flowers, raked up the dead pine cones that were stopping the new grass seeds that I had planted months ago from growing, cut, reseeded & fertilized the lawn). Organized and cleaned up the basement; layed down new speaker wires; stapled telephone, cable and speaker wires down; etc. etc.
How was your weekend?
Now this is when keeping it real can go horribly wrong.
I respond with "Whoa...Now i'm glad i'm not yo man..thats a lot of work... I don't think I want a house....I'll stick with a real nice condo..dayum...my weekend was the same as always work sleep and work "
She responds "Smart azz, we know U afraid of hard work/exercise, - man position is applicable, you won't pass the physical though, lol.
Now i'm thinking that was some fasty shit so I respond " Thats right..Thats why I have to make a lot of money...hire someone to do stuff like that...lol...as for the physical I already passed that...
Brown suga responds " Yes, U better get rich or stick to building living, I think house ownership would frustrate and kill U. As for paying someone else to do it, you better be rich, rich so you can either (a) stay home days and supervise, (b) hire a foreman to watch your workmen, or (c) get yourself a wife to order them around and spend the loot on upgrades. Either way, your pockets gonna feel it, lol. As for passing the physical, you forfeited that test. You do pass the juk test with flying colors though. Too bad its only 20% of your overall grade.
Now that was a jab. I return with a combination and respond " Yuh backside..yuh fasty bad....My pockets ain't gone feel shit I'm more resourceful than you could ever imagine....and I can't forfeit a test I was never asked to take.. besides the juk test is waaaay more than 20 % of my grade and don't front...cause if the jooking wasn't good I would never have been asked to come back for a second interview or take a physical exam.... Holla back youngin we could do this allll day...lol
SCOOOORE SCORE!!!!!! NOT!!!! she responds " you wanna go there, huh? all day....
You're right, you're mad resourceful - you barter better than most, its as if U really was born and raised in the Caribbean. But no amount of bartering, exchange of favors etc. works for long for homeowners, sooner or later all dem favors will have been called in and peeps start to duck U. Plus, as a man, did U figure in the "he's a punk" whispers if U get everyone else fi carry your manual labor?
As for the forfeit, I forfeited U. U failed the verbal pop quiz miserably, so I didn't think there was any point giving U the actual test.
What, U been out of school so long you forget that testing is done on a point scale system? Grading is subjective. Summer school is short-term, only accounts for so much so a 20% grade there isn't the same as say - a 20% grade in grad school. Since you so proud of your pipe-laying ability and I'm trying to reform mi mean ways - I'll give U a grade of 90% for your performance in this interim class (summer) since you accomplished the only work required. In terms of your long-term education - grade point still stands at 20%, as your work shows U've excelled in only 1/5th of the required course load. You might need tutoring, or could it be that you've never been taught proper work/study and implementation habits? Either way....
Now that was an upper cut. She drew blood with that shit. I'm Big Daddy Slish I MUST RESPOND!!!!! here goes " First no one ever ducks Big Daddy & I don't care what people think..you should know that by now...
As for your verbal pop quiz & my work habits ...when ever I start a new job. I never know if I'm going to like it..so I under achieve until I figure out if I want to keep the position......so you'll never know what my true potential could have been
Yeah Yeah take that take that. Suga responds" Bad way to do business, start a relationship etc. Makes the consumer think the product is either defective or the value isn't worth the $ or the effort so its already depreciating and its expected to never reach its potential, essentially short-term trash or cheap goods to be used up and discarded.
I didn't understand what she said but I know she dissed me. I come back with "You're using a poor analogy all those big words stuck up in your brain you can't even stay on the same page..too smart for your own good
When I decide to leave a position or get fired whichever comes first..both parties don't feel bad cause expectations were low anyway.
Just when I thought it was over and BANG!!!! over hand right to the temple Her Response " Getting frustrated? A sure sign is the slinging of insults. I'm not gonna get down on your level, I'm not gonna get "mean". The system obviously works for U, so do keep using it. The thing is, since U never give your all, the seeker will easily peg U in a certain category and keep U there. They won't be too inclined to move you out of the pigeonhole they've already have U in because they don't think U have the potential to do/give more. Since most relationships start out all shiny, untarnished, everyone on they're best behavior, people bending over backwards to please, etc.; it slacks off with time (ever heard of "familiarity breeds contempt"? - that's when you're comfortable enough to fart/belch around them, start pissin' all over the toilet seat, women start getting plump, etc.) why would anyone assume that "its gonna get better" over the beginning's poor, average or mediocre? Expectations that are "low", might also spell "none".
BROWN SUGA HAS KNOCKED SLISH DOWN !!!!!! I stagger to get up & grab the rope and respond with " Is that how you really feel about me?
BANG!!!!! another over hand right to the other side of my head She responds with " The gloves come off right now. Forget being nice.
You're amazing U know that? I suggest you start to actually think about what U say and to whom, the impression U give... Start thinking about what you have to offer... Better yet, reverse the situation and put yourself in my shoes.
You forget I know U. I knew U when U had some things going on, the illusion of something to offer. You done gone and given your best to a "girl child" now you wanna turn around and bring me, a successful grown woman, your "dregs and left"? U must think I'm desperate. U must think I'm ugly, poor, stupid, on drugs or crazy. U must think that I NEED or WANT what you've got. Don't ever forget that ego and stupidity are the quickest way to kill desire.
I think you've been feeding your alter ego for so long, its done clouded your brain. Or maybe Big Daddy Slish has U thinking he can get anyone he's slayed cause he's just that impressive. I think you need to fire Big Daddy, obviously he's not as good a "Chief Operating Officer" as you think. He's mismanaging your "press", he's the worse mouthpiece and is definitely leading your company to the point of no return. Your company definitely needs a reorganization, you might think of replacing him with Mr. Brain or Mr. Heart.
I'm down again. DIZZY AS F&$%K NOW!!!!!!! HOW DO I RESPOND TO THAT!!!! Brown suga has obviously been harboring these feelings for quite some time. I'm about to call Spike Lee for copy write infringment "CAUSE SHE HATE ME"
I get up. Brush my shoulders off fix my jaw and throw in the towel and respond with "That was mean I mean really mean...felt like a slap...I'm sorry and I won't be bothering you anymore.
I'm humming Michael Jackson's "She's out of my life " now.
posted by Mr.Slish at
7/27/2005 02:00:00 AM
4 Comments:
I must say, you asked for it and you got it. I had to read over this twice. It seems she started out just having conversation with you and you took it somewhere it didn't need to go and then couldn't handle what you were trying to dish out (in a off-handed way). She is way out of your league. Sounds like she has you figured out and already knows not to waste her time. I have been knowing you for over 4 or 5 years and after this post, I think you need to do some serious soul searching. You do resort to insults when you have nothing intelligent to say as a response to someone who is not willing to stoop to a lower level. That's a bad sign. Then in the end you have the nerve to act like the hurt puppy. Time to grow up and really think about the person you are. I will leave you with something I read and thought to be very profound.
"Character is who you are. Reputation is what you want people to believe you are"
Work more on your character and a lot less on your reputation (Mr. Slish).
Cinnamon...
YOU GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!!!! Man, she did you like Mike Tyson did Trevor Berbick! That was painful to read, my eyes started welling up. To see Slish get rocked like that, just sad...
-mr. music
Eh! Lay off my peeps up in here! Brotha Slish is an enigmatic figure. But his honesty is not only entertaining, it's refreshing.
So, let us fall back offa the judgments, please! I'm sure he's got dirt on you, too. You just better be glad that he's not volunteering it yet. Keep it up and I'll put a battery in his back.
360
You know I normally have a joke or two when posting on this blog but I have to say this time I am speechless. Mr. Slish was knocked the hell out without any profanity by Brown Suga. I gotta give him a call to see if he is okay.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home