I've been checking out some other blogs. White people are straaaaange. One guy has a blog where all he does is show video's of himself dancing to New Kids On The Block songs. He's terrible , He knows it, & has no shame. Maybe I should show video's of my hairy ass. It looks terrible, I know it & I have no shame.
I take pride in my understanding of the opposite sex. I've always been able to anticipate their wants, needs, & desires. Why I am still single then ? Well. I never said I understood myself. Without knowledge of self its hard to maintain relationships.
Now my knowledge of the opposite sex was not some innate ability I developed over the years. It was taught to me by my best friend. The Phantom. His super power. The ability to see you without you seeing him.
My training began in the summer of 1993. We both shared an apt in the Bronx. His rule was " Slish while your living here with me your going to have to check that nice guy shit at the door" " I'm not used to finishing last " So my training began. It started with simple stuff like
1. Never call a woman the day after you get her number shows desperation.
2. Don't do too much extra shit to early ex Flowers, candy, plays. WHY? When you f#$%K up you would have already run out of tricks to make up for it .
3. Always tell the truth Why ? So when shit hits the fan she can't call you a liar.
4. Leave all incriminating evidence out in the open. Women never look for the obvious.
5. Never ever ever ever ever Lie on your dick. Its bad Karma. Can cause impotence.
With this new found knowledge Mr Slish was born. Now there were a few hit & misses at first but I was a quick study . I made my teacher proud. Before you knew it we became legends amongst our peers . Our Motto " Nuh Bwoy Test Me Nuh Pussy Brush Gainst Mi" Lay man's terms " We don't take no shit and a strangers lady is not safe in our company".
Over the years this system was modified and I took it upon myself to take on a few pupils. One of them I am very proud of is Boogie Baby. I met Boogie Baby in 98 he was a local Dj in need of some business cards. I referred him to one of my boys. Thats how our friendship began. During our interaction I thought to myself this is one cool brotha. Dependable, Loyal, always in a good mood. I must know at least one sista he could get with. So I started bringing him to my usual haunts. To my surprise the fishy's were not biting. Consensus. " Yo Boy has no flavor " Thats when I heard The Phantoms voice " You must train him Slish. The force is strong in this one " Boogie Baby's training began shortly after.
It was tough at first. Since he was a dj he had this strong hip hop personality. Nikey's top ten, Phat Farm & Sean John. Nothing wrong with those labels but if you want to stand out from the rest. You can't wear someone elses name on your chest. A couple of trips to Banana Republic, Armani Exchange & Kenneth Cole. Boogie baby was a new man and the ladies noticed ( Well just the ones that didn't know him before the make over).
A few years go by Boogie baby is no longer a Dj. He traded his turntables in for a laptop. Thats right he evolved into a computer engineer.( Microsoft certified). Making good money and living in a condo in money earnin Mt. Vernon. Around 2004 at my movie shoot. ( Don't ask thats another story) Boogie baby is introduced to this Vanilla sista. A show stopper at that. Personally I didn't think he had a chance. But with my training and guidance. He pulled off the biggest upset of 2004 . Clipperman didn't even see it coming. He was also in heavy pursuit of this prize.
The relationship started out hot and heavy. Already Boogie Baby broke rule number two of the Phantom Commandments. Why? Pretty face, nice body can cause brain damage. 6 Months in he's in love & Show Stopper loved him back. But when an average guy dates a pretty woman. His mind can play tricks on him. All of a sudden every guy she knows is a threat, A night out with her girls is unacceptable, & your boys become a distant memory cause you spend most of your time with her making sure no one else can steal your prize. Big Mistake . Recipe for Disaster.
To make a long story short. They broke up about 3 months ago. I haven't heard from my boy since. Probably blames me for it. I've reached out to him several times he doesn't return my calls. If your reading this brah.. Call me . Don't want to lose you as a friend. Lifes too short.
I take pride in my understanding of the opposite sex. I've always been able to anticipate their wants, needs, & desires. Why I am still single then ? Well. I never said I understood myself. Without knowledge of self its hard to maintain relationships.
Now my knowledge of the opposite sex was not some innate ability I developed over the years. It was taught to me by my best friend. The Phantom. His super power. The ability to see you without you seeing him.
My training began in the summer of 1993. We both shared an apt in the Bronx. His rule was " Slish while your living here with me your going to have to check that nice guy shit at the door" " I'm not used to finishing last " So my training began. It started with simple stuff like
1. Never call a woman the day after you get her number shows desperation.
2. Don't do too much extra shit to early ex Flowers, candy, plays. WHY? When you f#$%K up you would have already run out of tricks to make up for it .
3. Always tell the truth Why ? So when shit hits the fan she can't call you a liar.
4. Leave all incriminating evidence out in the open. Women never look for the obvious.
5. Never ever ever ever ever Lie on your dick. Its bad Karma. Can cause impotence.
With this new found knowledge Mr Slish was born. Now there were a few hit & misses at first but I was a quick study . I made my teacher proud. Before you knew it we became legends amongst our peers . Our Motto " Nuh Bwoy Test Me Nuh Pussy Brush Gainst Mi" Lay man's terms " We don't take no shit and a strangers lady is not safe in our company".
Over the years this system was modified and I took it upon myself to take on a few pupils. One of them I am very proud of is Boogie Baby. I met Boogie Baby in 98 he was a local Dj in need of some business cards. I referred him to one of my boys. Thats how our friendship began. During our interaction I thought to myself this is one cool brotha. Dependable, Loyal, always in a good mood. I must know at least one sista he could get with. So I started bringing him to my usual haunts. To my surprise the fishy's were not biting. Consensus. " Yo Boy has no flavor " Thats when I heard The Phantoms voice " You must train him Slish. The force is strong in this one " Boogie Baby's training began shortly after.
It was tough at first. Since he was a dj he had this strong hip hop personality. Nikey's top ten, Phat Farm & Sean John. Nothing wrong with those labels but if you want to stand out from the rest. You can't wear someone elses name on your chest. A couple of trips to Banana Republic, Armani Exchange & Kenneth Cole. Boogie baby was a new man and the ladies noticed ( Well just the ones that didn't know him before the make over).
A few years go by Boogie baby is no longer a Dj. He traded his turntables in for a laptop. Thats right he evolved into a computer engineer.( Microsoft certified). Making good money and living in a condo in money earnin Mt. Vernon. Around 2004 at my movie shoot. ( Don't ask thats another story) Boogie baby is introduced to this Vanilla sista. A show stopper at that. Personally I didn't think he had a chance. But with my training and guidance. He pulled off the biggest upset of 2004 . Clipperman didn't even see it coming. He was also in heavy pursuit of this prize.
The relationship started out hot and heavy. Already Boogie Baby broke rule number two of the Phantom Commandments. Why? Pretty face, nice body can cause brain damage. 6 Months in he's in love & Show Stopper loved him back. But when an average guy dates a pretty woman. His mind can play tricks on him. All of a sudden every guy she knows is a threat, A night out with her girls is unacceptable, & your boys become a distant memory cause you spend most of your time with her making sure no one else can steal your prize. Big Mistake . Recipe for Disaster.
To make a long story short. They broke up about 3 months ago. I haven't heard from my boy since. Probably blames me for it. I've reached out to him several times he doesn't return my calls. If your reading this brah.. Call me . Don't want to lose you as a friend. Lifes too short.
posted by Mr.Slish at
7/18/2005 02:00:00 AM
1 Comments:
First and foremost no one wants to see your hairy ass. You may have been trained by the Phantom but it appears that the training you have received has expired. Perhaps you need, if the Phamton is still around, to get the latest version of his teachings or better perhaps he has a book you can purchase "Playas for Dummies 2005 Ed." I can remember an instance where you didn't follow his teachings. Can this be because you put all the B.S. to the side and concentrated on being your true self instead of what other people think you should be? Hmmmmm.
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