Its Saturday morning, my back is killing me, and Harlem Nites is sound asleep. I get up and sit on the edge of the bed. I'm feeling kind of woozy just can't remember why. How did I end up here again ? MUST BE THAT DAMN HENNESY!!!!! its the devils elixir. Make you do all kinds of unlawful shit. Think I need to call my Fea(Flesh eaters anonymous) sponsor .
Things start to come back to me now. Lets go back in time a moment. Its Friday night. I leave one of my part time jobs at 10 pm because I told Hot mama to meet me at the club at 11pm. I'm headed to my homegirl The Pharmacist's house. My job is to take her to as many social gatherings possible. Her futere depends on it. Being attractive, 32, more than just gainfully employed doesn't cut it anymore. Finding a man in Nyc is like finding a job after 911 too many applicants & not enough open positions. When a position finally becomes available the employer fails to tell you that its only partime. Why don't I date her? Thats simple can't f@$%k all your female friends. Do that and you won't have anyone to help you figure out the female persona.
I get to The Pharmacist house at 11pm . I call her and let her know I'm outside. She comes out 5 minutes later looking OH SO FRESH AND SO CLEAN. Pharmacist gets in the car. I look away quickly don't want her to catch me staring, don't remember her looking this good when Venom was dating her. Then my cell phones rings interrupting any nasty thought I was about to have. Its Hot Mama " Where you at" I respond " I'll be there in five minutes. Hot Mama" Don't make me cut you" I respond " Did you say something about giving me some cut." she responds " Whateva " and hangs up.
Pull up to club at 11:30 pm . Hot Mama is sitting in her car . Pharmacist and I get out. Introductions are made. Off we go. As were walking towards the spot I notice that it looks a little like my after work venue EMPTY!!!!! Pharmacist " This place is not poppin WHERE THE DUDES AT!!!!! I respond " We haven't gone inside and already your putting out that kind of energy into the universe, and your boyfriends name is WHAT!!!!! shut up I'll pay for you okay." She responds " Good looking out Slish"
I see this little dude come outside. He starts talking to the bouncers at the door. Figure he must be the promoter . Then my Slish sense starts to tingle flashes of titties and full lips pop into my head. OH SHIT!!!! I slept with this dudes wife !!!! before & while they were married. I'm nervous now cause i'm not quite sure he recognizes me or even knows about me & Mrs Jones. I move quickly ushering Hot Mama & The Pharmacist inside. I pay for everyone and head straight for my friendly neighborhood bartender . Slish sense starts to tingle again. Mrs Jones is here!!!!! I don't see her, but I know she up in here!!! OH SHIT!!!!! OH SHIT!!! I SEE HER!!! I pull my hat down over my face but my disquise fails cause when I sat down at the bar. I felt this tap on my shoulder . Mrs Jones " I knew that was you. Can recognize that cocky little walk from anywhere" I respond " Heeeeey how you been. I see you're here supporting your hubby." She ignores my statement and starts to size up Hot Mama " So is this your girlfriend " I say " Naw just a friend you know i'm moody & can't keep a woman. Mrs Jones " Well I wouldn't know didn't hang around long enough to find out remember you were just my break the glass" ( layman terms- Dick in a glass. Only break during times of emergency or deep emotional distress) Thats my cue to leave. Why she bringing up shit like that while her husband is lurking around.
I'm at the bar now caressing Hot Mama's back while drinking my second glass of Hennessy. I say " Think I can get a second chance at the chocha" She smiles and responds " I don't give second chances " I respond " I deserve a second shot conditons were not right the last time we tussled. Need a bed so I can spread you out. Hot Mama gigling "Your Crazy " I don't remember what happened next but I must have struck out, cause I ended up calling my break the glass.
Things start to come back to me now. Lets go back in time a moment. Its Friday night. I leave one of my part time jobs at 10 pm because I told Hot mama to meet me at the club at 11pm. I'm headed to my homegirl The Pharmacist's house. My job is to take her to as many social gatherings possible. Her futere depends on it. Being attractive, 32, more than just gainfully employed doesn't cut it anymore. Finding a man in Nyc is like finding a job after 911 too many applicants & not enough open positions. When a position finally becomes available the employer fails to tell you that its only partime. Why don't I date her? Thats simple can't f@$%k all your female friends. Do that and you won't have anyone to help you figure out the female persona.
I get to The Pharmacist house at 11pm . I call her and let her know I'm outside. She comes out 5 minutes later looking OH SO FRESH AND SO CLEAN. Pharmacist gets in the car. I look away quickly don't want her to catch me staring, don't remember her looking this good when Venom was dating her. Then my cell phones rings interrupting any nasty thought I was about to have. Its Hot Mama " Where you at" I respond " I'll be there in five minutes. Hot Mama" Don't make me cut you" I respond " Did you say something about giving me some cut." she responds " Whateva " and hangs up.
Pull up to club at 11:30 pm . Hot Mama is sitting in her car . Pharmacist and I get out. Introductions are made. Off we go. As were walking towards the spot I notice that it looks a little like my after work venue EMPTY!!!!! Pharmacist " This place is not poppin WHERE THE DUDES AT!!!!! I respond " We haven't gone inside and already your putting out that kind of energy into the universe, and your boyfriends name is WHAT!!!!! shut up I'll pay for you okay." She responds " Good looking out Slish"
I see this little dude come outside. He starts talking to the bouncers at the door. Figure he must be the promoter . Then my Slish sense starts to tingle flashes of titties and full lips pop into my head. OH SHIT!!!! I slept with this dudes wife !!!! before & while they were married. I'm nervous now cause i'm not quite sure he recognizes me or even knows about me & Mrs Jones. I move quickly ushering Hot Mama & The Pharmacist inside. I pay for everyone and head straight for my friendly neighborhood bartender . Slish sense starts to tingle again. Mrs Jones is here!!!!! I don't see her, but I know she up in here!!! OH SHIT!!!!! OH SHIT!!! I SEE HER!!! I pull my hat down over my face but my disquise fails cause when I sat down at the bar. I felt this tap on my shoulder . Mrs Jones " I knew that was you. Can recognize that cocky little walk from anywhere" I respond " Heeeeey how you been. I see you're here supporting your hubby." She ignores my statement and starts to size up Hot Mama " So is this your girlfriend " I say " Naw just a friend you know i'm moody & can't keep a woman. Mrs Jones " Well I wouldn't know didn't hang around long enough to find out remember you were just my break the glass" ( layman terms- Dick in a glass. Only break during times of emergency or deep emotional distress) Thats my cue to leave. Why she bringing up shit like that while her husband is lurking around.
I'm at the bar now caressing Hot Mama's back while drinking my second glass of Hennessy. I say " Think I can get a second chance at the chocha" She smiles and responds " I don't give second chances " I respond " I deserve a second shot conditons were not right the last time we tussled. Need a bed so I can spread you out. Hot Mama gigling "Your Crazy " I don't remember what happened next but I must have struck out, cause I ended up calling my break the glass.
posted by Mr.Slish at
9/13/2005 02:00:00 AM
2 Comments:
Funny. I was just about to ask you about "The Pharmacist" until I read further down that I used to date her. Good thing I actually read your blogs carefully or else I would have gotten myself in trouble and given you a new item to talk about in the blog at my expense. You sometimes only get one chance to make a good impression and you came up short with Mot Mama. I know enough women to know that if you beat that "goodness" up with a bat, that they will never deal with you on that level again. Keep on breaking that glass bruh.
Brutha Slish, you are transforming from Pimp! Pimp!!! back into the slutty slut I always knew. Welcome home bruh! I always liked the Slutty Slish better anyways. It makes for a much more lively vicarious life for me. lol
-360
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