Lady Di and I have hit a bump in the road. For weeks now shes been trying to get me to give her the address to this blog. My common sense has been telling me "Don't do it Slish she won't understand" but the Phantom commandments tell me '' Show her Nucca see if she can handle the truth. I decide to follow the devil and give her the blog address.
The call is made " Hey Lady Di guess what I've decided to let you read my blog" Lady Di responds " Why now? HERE WE GO!!!! Once again this is when keeping it real can go horribly wrong. Lady Di continues with " For weeks now i've been asking you for that blog address all of a sudden just like that you want me to read it" I respond " Yeah I think its time. If things are going to progress between us you should know everything. She responds " Whats everything. Whats in the blog that you didn't want me to read about before. I channel Jack Nicholson YOU CAN' T HANDLE THE TRUTH !! and say "Oh nothing really just that your not the only woman I go out on dates with. " I hear the crickets now . Lady Di responds " Oh so two weeks ago when we had plans to go out and you called and cancelled , you were out with another CHICK!!!!! I'm getting a Brown Suga flash back now. I respond " No that day I was tired and decided to go home and take a nap" Lady Di " Hmph Like I'm supposed to believe you. " HOLD UP!!!!!!!!! Why am I having this coversation with this woman. We only went out like twice. This a bad sign. I respond " Listen you and I are still getting to know one another and have yet to establish anything concrete. All I know is that I enjoy your company and want it to continue so that I won't need to keep going out on dates with different women. Do you enjoy my company when Lady Di ? she responds " Yes" " Then everything else is irrelevant". Lady Di responds " Oh no its not. Your going to have to work a little bit harder now" Shit I guess nothing good comes easy
Today is Soulmates birthday. She's depressed and wondering how life could be so cruel. Turned 35, has no kids, living with her mama, no husband in site and her ex boyfriend from high school(ME!!!!) is still chasing her. Thats a saaad story. Think after work I'll buy her a thong . Should make her boyfriend Dr Dolittle verrry angry..
I get a call from Mr Venom " Yo Slish you at work" I say " Yeah Why" Venom responds "I'm taking back the car I need you to drive my car back". The car Venom is talking about is his exgirlfriends The Officer. Apparently she let the car insurance lapse by not making the payments in a timely fashion. The car and the insurance are still in his name and he's pissed. I say " Calm down remember she's a cop and has a liscense to shoot a nigga in the ass. You go and take that car without her knowledge she might go Die Hard on you. Call her first and tell her your taking it. " Venom responds " I did that . She's not responding. F%^&k her I don't care if she's packing a nigga just gonna have to get shot." There's no talking to Venom when he's mad so I tell him to be careful, wear a vest and make sure he's on the phone with 911 while he's taking the car. Venom calls me back an hour later. Mission accomplished car is in his possesion. I wonder if he knows the number to the witness protection program cause The Officer is one crazy Bitch!!!!!!
My cell is ringing off the hook today. One of the many calls I recieve is from my Sensei/Best friend Phantom. He tells me his fiance Mcgyver has read my blog and discovered where the Bachelor party is . Mcgyver if your reading this did you not read my story about the Phantom commandments. Rule # 4 . Leave all incriminating evidence out in the open. Women never look for the obvious. You think you know but you have nooooooo Idea.
The call is made " Hey Lady Di guess what I've decided to let you read my blog" Lady Di responds " Why now? HERE WE GO!!!! Once again this is when keeping it real can go horribly wrong. Lady Di continues with " For weeks now i've been asking you for that blog address all of a sudden just like that you want me to read it" I respond " Yeah I think its time. If things are going to progress between us you should know everything. She responds " Whats everything. Whats in the blog that you didn't want me to read about before. I channel Jack Nicholson YOU CAN' T HANDLE THE TRUTH !! and say "Oh nothing really just that your not the only woman I go out on dates with. " I hear the crickets now . Lady Di responds " Oh so two weeks ago when we had plans to go out and you called and cancelled , you were out with another CHICK!!!!! I'm getting a Brown Suga flash back now. I respond " No that day I was tired and decided to go home and take a nap" Lady Di " Hmph Like I'm supposed to believe you. " HOLD UP!!!!!!!!! Why am I having this coversation with this woman. We only went out like twice. This a bad sign. I respond " Listen you and I are still getting to know one another and have yet to establish anything concrete. All I know is that I enjoy your company and want it to continue so that I won't need to keep going out on dates with different women. Do you enjoy my company when Lady Di ? she responds " Yes" " Then everything else is irrelevant". Lady Di responds " Oh no its not. Your going to have to work a little bit harder now" Shit I guess nothing good comes easy
Today is Soulmates birthday. She's depressed and wondering how life could be so cruel. Turned 35, has no kids, living with her mama, no husband in site and her ex boyfriend from high school(ME!!!!) is still chasing her. Thats a saaad story. Think after work I'll buy her a thong . Should make her boyfriend Dr Dolittle verrry angry..
I get a call from Mr Venom " Yo Slish you at work" I say " Yeah Why" Venom responds "I'm taking back the car I need you to drive my car back". The car Venom is talking about is his exgirlfriends The Officer. Apparently she let the car insurance lapse by not making the payments in a timely fashion. The car and the insurance are still in his name and he's pissed. I say " Calm down remember she's a cop and has a liscense to shoot a nigga in the ass. You go and take that car without her knowledge she might go Die Hard on you. Call her first and tell her your taking it. " Venom responds " I did that . She's not responding. F%^&k her I don't care if she's packing a nigga just gonna have to get shot." There's no talking to Venom when he's mad so I tell him to be careful, wear a vest and make sure he's on the phone with 911 while he's taking the car. Venom calls me back an hour later. Mission accomplished car is in his possesion. I wonder if he knows the number to the witness protection program cause The Officer is one crazy Bitch!!!!!!
My cell is ringing off the hook today. One of the many calls I recieve is from my Sensei/Best friend Phantom. He tells me his fiance Mcgyver has read my blog and discovered where the Bachelor party is . Mcgyver if your reading this did you not read my story about the Phantom commandments. Rule # 4 . Leave all incriminating evidence out in the open. Women never look for the obvious. You think you know but you have nooooooo Idea.
posted by Mr.Slish at
8/06/2005 03:30:00 PM
1 Comments:
There is a reason why I chose this name. The Officer did have the car that was still in my name with insurance and registration. She didn't make payments in a timely fashion so I took the car without her knowing and made it temporary disappear. She's mad that I took the car and that I won't reinsure the car for her. SO to shorten this saga i allowed her to rettrieve her things out of the car and signed an agreement stating that I will return the deposit of two grand plus proceeds after the lien has been settled. Now you say how does Venom win on this? He's stuck right????...Wrong. No where on the agreement does it say I must sell it for fair market value.(5-6grand). Lets do the math 2000 deposit plus 1500 lien equals 3500. Gee that leaves 1500-2500 still out there now doesn't. Golly I sure hope i can find a buyer that will give me fair market. HEY OFFICER DO NOT F**K WITH MR.VENOM AND THINK YOU'LL GET AWAY IT. OFFICER DOESN'T THINK AS WELL AS I DO WHEN ANGRY. YOU WILL GET WHAT YOU DESERVE YOU DUMB BITCH!!!!!!!!!
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