You guys ever think back to some of the silly shit you did as a kid or the things you did that you couldn't tell your parents until you were old enough not to get yo ass whupped. That would be 2o for me cause last time my mama whupped me I was 19. What did I do? Lost a key to the basment . Story Goes like this.
Mother " Slish where's the key to the basement" I say " I don't know I think its lost. Mother " LOST!!!! What do you mean lost. Lost like somewhere in the street lost. I nonchantly respond '' Yeah" Mother" GO FIND IT!!!! I respond " Thats illogical where in the hell am I going to look for this key, it could be anywhere besides if someone finds it how are they gonna know it belongs to us. Its not like the key has engraved on it Slish and his family live at this address " Yes yall I've always had this mouth and the trouble that comes with it. All of a sudden the room started to spin cause she was pulling me out of my bed before I could finish that last sentence. Yelling " Damn BWOY !!! Think I'm playing YOU GONNA FIND THAT KEY!!!! In all the confusion I must of said " I'M NOT LOOKING FOR NO DAMN KEY!!! " Mother paused HAMMERTIME!!!!! woman went Jackie Chan on me. Blows came from everywhere. Not no sissy punches either! This was some Chuck Norris Texas Ranger Shit. So I did what every big mouth coward does I RAN!!!!!! Never found the key either..lol
Tragic Child Hood Stories Part Two
I was 15 years old. Had a girlfriend for the very first time and finger popping was like having sex . Remember fellas you would stand around with yo boys exchanging stories about how many fingers you got inside some virgin pussy. YES BACK THEN GIRLS WERE ACTUALLY STILL VIRGINS!!! Anyway. One night I stayed out passed my curfew. Where was I ? With my girl trying to figure out how many fingers fit up in her coochie..lol I was in soooo much teenage exctasy that I forgot how late it was. So I had to run home as fast as I could.
Creeping into the house now. Big Poppa and Slash Mama are no where in site "whew" THEN BAMMM out of no where the I GOTCHA MAN!!! comes running out of the living room and pins me to the wall. Pops " WHERE YOU BEEN SLISHY" I respond " Out Outside" Pops " DOIN WHAT!!!! now I was not about to tell him what I was doing no sense in getting punished for some silly shit like that. I respond " Nothing?!? Just hanging out with Fondu & Phantom" Pops " WHERE!!!! this man is obviously hard of hearing I respond " Outside" Pops " YOU BEEN SMOKING!!! I start to giggle and say " Smoking what? Pops " DON'T GET SMART!! SMOKING WEED !!! now my pops obviously did not know I was the neighborhood advocate against smoking weed. I resented that statement and responded " Your crazy" Pops " WHO YUH CALLING CRAZY BWOY YOUR NOT A BIG MAN IN THIS HOUSE!!!! GIVE ME YOUR HAND!!!! I'm shook now. I obey pop's order and start to give him my left hand cause the right hand smelled like bedussy. He Pauses pops ain't no fool he figures the hand I volunteer will not have the smell of weed on it " GIVE ME YOUR RIGHT HAND!!!! I close my eyes, give him the hand he asks for & wait for the world to come to an end. Sniff Sniff Sniff I open one of my eyes and my pops gives me this knowing look and says " Go to bed. Next time yuh come in the house late. Your outdoor privileges will be taken away" A warning???? ain't that some shit. Old as my dad was he still remembered what pussy smelled like. Probably thought to himself YES!! YES!!!!
Mother " Slish where's the key to the basement" I say " I don't know I think its lost. Mother " LOST!!!! What do you mean lost. Lost like somewhere in the street lost. I nonchantly respond '' Yeah" Mother" GO FIND IT!!!! I respond " Thats illogical where in the hell am I going to look for this key, it could be anywhere besides if someone finds it how are they gonna know it belongs to us. Its not like the key has engraved on it Slish and his family live at this address " Yes yall I've always had this mouth and the trouble that comes with it. All of a sudden the room started to spin cause she was pulling me out of my bed before I could finish that last sentence. Yelling " Damn BWOY !!! Think I'm playing YOU GONNA FIND THAT KEY!!!! In all the confusion I must of said " I'M NOT LOOKING FOR NO DAMN KEY!!! " Mother paused HAMMERTIME!!!!! woman went Jackie Chan on me. Blows came from everywhere. Not no sissy punches either! This was some Chuck Norris Texas Ranger Shit. So I did what every big mouth coward does I RAN!!!!!! Never found the key either..lol
Tragic Child Hood Stories Part Two
I was 15 years old. Had a girlfriend for the very first time and finger popping was like having sex . Remember fellas you would stand around with yo boys exchanging stories about how many fingers you got inside some virgin pussy. YES BACK THEN GIRLS WERE ACTUALLY STILL VIRGINS!!! Anyway. One night I stayed out passed my curfew. Where was I ? With my girl trying to figure out how many fingers fit up in her coochie..lol I was in soooo much teenage exctasy that I forgot how late it was. So I had to run home as fast as I could.
Creeping into the house now. Big Poppa and Slash Mama are no where in site "whew" THEN BAMMM out of no where the I GOTCHA MAN!!! comes running out of the living room and pins me to the wall. Pops " WHERE YOU BEEN SLISHY" I respond " Out Outside" Pops " DOIN WHAT!!!! now I was not about to tell him what I was doing no sense in getting punished for some silly shit like that. I respond " Nothing?!? Just hanging out with Fondu & Phantom" Pops " WHERE!!!! this man is obviously hard of hearing I respond " Outside" Pops " YOU BEEN SMOKING!!! I start to giggle and say " Smoking what? Pops " DON'T GET SMART!! SMOKING WEED !!! now my pops obviously did not know I was the neighborhood advocate against smoking weed. I resented that statement and responded " Your crazy" Pops " WHO YUH CALLING CRAZY BWOY YOUR NOT A BIG MAN IN THIS HOUSE!!!! GIVE ME YOUR HAND!!!! I'm shook now. I obey pop's order and start to give him my left hand cause the right hand smelled like bedussy. He Pauses pops ain't no fool he figures the hand I volunteer will not have the smell of weed on it " GIVE ME YOUR RIGHT HAND!!!! I close my eyes, give him the hand he asks for & wait for the world to come to an end. Sniff Sniff Sniff I open one of my eyes and my pops gives me this knowing look and says " Go to bed. Next time yuh come in the house late. Your outdoor privileges will be taken away" A warning???? ain't that some shit. Old as my dad was he still remembered what pussy smelled like. Probably thought to himself YES!! YES!!!!
posted by Mr.Slish at
9/15/2005 02:00:00 AM
3 Comments:
Please explain to me what the hell was so tragic about story number two. Finger poppin at 15? My fingers saw no parts of the chocha until.....oh wait this blog isn't about my own personal pain. But I can definitely sympathize with the first story.
When your Dad sniffed your fingers, did you bunch them up to give him a concentrated effect or did you fan them in front of him like as if you lit a really bad fart.
slish you knoiw pops and mom are still getting busy,,,,,
Lawd Jesus, bwoy! You know I can just picture both your parents wil'ing out on you. Almost pissed myself with these images in my head.
-Mr. Music
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