10 am i'm in Harlem sitting in Jimbo's restaurant ordering breakfast. I'm rubbing my forehead. That last drink I had has given me a slight headache. I send Corporate America a text message. " That chick ain't for you. Too much lip. Hit it and Hiiiiide."


That brings me to this story. Corporate America is on the hunt. He instructed me to find a spot for the both of us to hang out where his potential queen might be. The date he went on Friday went well, but Corporate likes to increase his odds of success. So he decides he needs 2 more in his stable. Once he finds 3 worthy candidates. He will date them until one out shines the other two. I know its f&*$ked up but its fun to watch these women throw them selves at a 5'7 Tiki Barber look a like, just because he has a little money. If he were blue collar like myself half these women would not give him the time of day.

I'm sitting in Harlem Nites living room. She's putting away the groceries I just bought for her and giving me the gooogly eyes . Probably thinking " I got this nigga buying me groceries. Its only a matter of time" Huh riiight. I decide to call Corporate and ask him what time he wants to link up Corporate says " Change in plans. I'm meeting this chick for a drink. Where should I take her? I yell to Harlem " Where should Corporate take his lady friend for a drink" Harlem responds" Take her to the Harlem Grill no distractions there" I say "Take her to the G-bar" Harlem interrupts . " G-bar is wack" I say" How would you know you only been there once" She says "Yeah and it was wack then" I say" You know what go back in the kitchen" Harlem ignores my statement and jumps on top of me planting kisses all over my face & neck. My cell was on speaker so Corporate hears us and says " Slish!!! You with your jump off???" Oh Helll !!!!!! I push harlem off me hoping she didn't hear what he said and grab my phone. I say really loud " Yeah I'm with my sweeeeetie Harlem" Idiot he'll pay for that later.

1 hour later i'm back at my place. Harlem Nites has made sure I won't be thinking about any other chocha tonight. I call Corporate to check on his status " Yo where are you?" Corporate says " I'm at the den waiting on my blind date" I say " Blind date? I thought you knew this chick" He responds" Naaaw Brah a friend of mine set me up. I don't know what she looks like, bring yo ass down here just in case. I respond " in case of what?" Corporate says " In case she's not my type" You guys thought I was picky. HUH!!! Lets put it this way any woman he finds unattractive I would probably drink their bath water.

I get to the Den at 10:35 pm. I spot Corporate in the corner with a caramel sista with hair down to her shoulder. I walk over and sit at the table across from them and wait for the signal that he wants out. If he waves me off i'll go over to the bar have a drink, flirt with the pretty waitress who caught my eye when I walked in and go home. Corporate notices me and calls me over. Poor girl probably thought she had a chance. I walk over, grab a chair & sit down. The sista looks up at me and says to Corporate " Is this your boy. The one you were on the phone with" Corporate says " Yeah he was in the area and decided to stop by. He has a little sumthin sumthin around these parts" Corporate says " Slish Angel. Angel Slish " We shake hands. Corporate calls the waitress over " Excuse me can you get my friend whatever he wants" I order a Foxy Brown & some ghetto sushi called the last dragon. The pretty waitress I was checking out brings me my drink. Angel looks at my drink and says " What do you call that? I say with confidence " A Foxy Brown" She starts to giggle and says " A Foxy Brown what kind of sissy drink is that" NO SHE DIDN'T!!!!! The Slasher starts to stir but I manage to keep him under control and respond politely " I like this drink its tasty besides i'm driving." Can you believe this shit women are actually judgeing a mans character by what kind of drink he orders. No wonder you guys can't find a good man. Too busy falling in love with alcoholics.

Angel and I are going back and forth with witty one liners. This chick thinks she's tough. Got an answer for everything. Not realizing thats a sure fire way for Corporate to lose interest. So I ask angel " What kind of guy do you like" She looks me up and down and responds " Chocolate, bald, in shape , a brother who knows how to order wine from any wine list and then be able to go uptown & munch down on some fried Chicken from the neighborhood spot" No wonder she's manless guys like that don't exist how many times I have to tell you ladies there are no in betweens. You can either date a Thug( Chicken spot and 3 am booty calls without question) Blue collar( Biweekly visits to a 2 star restuarant. why?? Cause thats how often he gets paid. Vacations only once a year) White Collar dude( Expensive dinners, gifts, out of the blue getaways to islands that have coconuts. Only problem most of you so called independant sistas are not their type. )


Corporate and I have made other plans so we decide to take Angel along. On our way to the east village. She's talking maaad shit about how she can handle the both us. Then she does the unthinkable and touches Corporate's Cd changer and changes the music that was playing. I looked at Corporate. He gave me a IS THIS BITCH CRAZY LOOK!!!! then looked at her, tightened his lips, let her continue & kept driving. I wanted to start a little trouble and say " So you guys going on a second date" Angel turns around and says " What second date we haven't even had our first date. He brought you along as back up. So this date doesnt count. "


Folks. I think she done f&%ked up now.