I woke up Saturday morning. T.V. blasting, glasses still on my face & drool on the side of my mouth. Its a miracle I got home safely just wish I could remember how that happened. I must be getting old, didn't know 3 drinks could send me into THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
Friday night I left my third hustle and headed towards Manhattan. On my way down I picked up Dough Boy & Bashment Gyal. We get to the Bar at 10:15 pm. I tell Bashy & Dough Boy to go on ahead . I needed to find a parking spot. 10:25pm I'm up in th spot I say whats up to the bouncer " Whats up Slish looong time no see where ya been?" I respond " Work, work & more work thats why I haven't been around. I work on Fridays now. How is the spot looking tonight" Bouncer responds" Niice crowd" I respond " Kewl" and walk upstairs to where the action is.
I'm looking around for familiar faces. I'll most likely have to wait until someone notices me. Why? I'm too vain to wear my glasses in a lounge, bar, or club. So I always walk around squinting until I bump into someone I know. Its stupid I know & through the years it has given people the impression that i'm stuck up. Which isn't the case at all the reason I don't say hello first is because I CAN'T SEE YOU!!!! My boy Hershey is the 1st person to greet me and says " Aiiiiight the party has just begun Slish is here. I respond " Stop that noise" Hershey says " Look at you " then pops my blazer collar
" Looking clean " I respond " Just trying to keep up with you. How you feeling anyway" Ds3 totaled his 2004 Envoy 3 months ago. The truck flipped on the FDR/ Hershey was in the car with him. He responds " I'm good . Just happy to be alive " I respond " I HEAR THAT!!!! then this little voice in my head interrupts our convo and says " Slish your thirsty you need to go the bar and find someone that will sponsor you. The thirty dollars in your pocket is for food and gas for the weekend " I excuse myself and slide on over to the bar.
My sofball buddies are gathered around the bar. What a stroke of luck. I'm sure one of these guys will hook me up with some devil juice. I say " Money Chuck hook me up" He responds " What ya drinking Slish" hmmm I start to think I can't ask for hennessy thats too expensive, won't ask for an Apple Martini he'll think i'm a sissy, & I can't drink beer because of this diet i'm on AAAGH I respond " I don't know. What ever you're drinking." Money Chuck says " Jack and Coke it is" AWWW HELL NO!!!! Last time I drank Jack Daniels I saw little white angels circling my head chanting " YOU BEEN KNOCKED THE F@#$%K OUT!!!! I respond " Chiiillllll never mind" I look to my left and see Bashy at the bar. She sees me. I give her a nod. 3 minutes later I'm sipping on an Apple Martini. Its always good to have a plan B
I'm nursing my Apple Martini and notice a slim honey complexion sister looking oh soo sexy. I squint my eyes a little. SHIT!!!! She's off limits. I hooked Coporate America up with her 7 months ago. It lasted about 3 weeks. Corporate's ego chased her away. What a waste . I would have taken a shot my damn self if it wasn't for the fact I dated her best friend Mocha a few years back. I gently tap her elbow . Honey says " Heeey Slish how ya doin" I respond " I'm good. Where's your friend" Honey responds " Where's yours" she's talking about Corporate . I respond " I don't know he said he was stopping by here. " Honey responds" Oh really he bringing his new girlfriend" I respond " No he f&#$@ked that up. He's flying solo again." She asks " What happened? I respond " You should be able to answer that question" Honey nods " I guess I was a bit too much for him. He seems to like obedient women. I respond " You see that , answered your own question"
I see Mocha's locks through the crowd. I reach & caress her arm. Mocha looks and says " Heeeeyy Sunshine" and gives me a warm hug and multiple kisses on my cheek. Damn she feels good. Had to remind myself that I am in public and need to keep my hands above her waist. I respond " Your're looking lovely as always. Hows that six pack coming along ? Mocha " I'm still working on it got a 2 pack now." since i'm an oppurtunist I say " Let me see" Mocha " Noooooo not heeeeere" judging from her response & the empty glass in her left hand i'd say SHE'S HAD A FEW!!!! I respond " Let me touch it" She agrees. I rub her flat stomach and start having flashes of porn star fantasies. I let go quickly. I sensed the The Slasher persona awakening. When he's up there's no stopping the madness. I give her another hug she gives me more soft kisses on my cheek and leaves the bar shortly after. I make a mental note. " Slish put Mocha on your to do list"
Its 1am. Time for me and Bashy to get going AND WHERE THE HELL IS DOUGH BOY!!!!! I haven't seen him all night. I go outside, check the bathrom, look in every dark corner of the bar. No sign of him. F@#$K it . He gets left. Bashy and I get to my car. I check my cell for missed calls . I see Dough Boys name. Okay this means he left a message stating that he bounced and went to Harlem to see his girl. That reminds me I need to head uptown quickly and catch Barneys before she heads back to queens. Off I go.
While i'm driving I notice i'm feeling reeeal woozy. The last drink I had just kicked in. Voice in my head is saying " Slish your not gonna make it give Bashy the steering wheel" What the voice doesn't know is that bashy can't drive. Well legally that is . When this happens to me which isn't often. My mind and body usually go into auto pilot. Meaning I'll get home but probably won't remember anything in between. Now Bashy is insisting I take her to Mcdonalds. DAMN!!! If she only knew how much i'm struggling right now. We go to at least 3. All of them CLOSED!!!!. Bashy is determined to stuff her face & will not be denied so she settles for KFC. My cell phone starts to ring while on the drive thru line. Bashy says " Bwoooy yuh hot. Cell phone just ringin off the hook" Its Barneys. I pick up " Hey" Barneys responds " Papi where are you? I have a plate of food ready for you" I respond " I'ma coming give me 20 minutes"
Bashy gets her food and I drop her off at her apt. Zoom Zoom Zoom the batmobile is off to see Barneys. She's in the bronx hanging out with her girls. One of those no men allowed get drunk pow wows. I get there in 5 minutes Flat. I call Barneys and tell her i'm down stairs. I pull up to the building. She's already outside waiting for me. Then something comes over me. All of sudden my swagger is different. Uh Oh!!!!! The Slasher has AWAKENED!!!! and taken over. I'm experiencing some out of body shit right now. I feel myself get out of the car . Papi Chulo mode is in full effect now. I walk up to Barneys, hug her, lift her off the curb so that she's directly in front of me, bend down and give her this " If you were not with your friends right now and I had my own place. I'd tear your little ass up" kind of kiss. She doesn' t resist and responds with opening her mouth even wider so that our tongues can salsa. When i'm done Barneys lets out this sigh and says " Oh my " I say " you been drinking" Barneys " Just a little" I say " Whats in the bag" Barneys starts rambling on about whats in the bag. I really didn't care. I just wanted to watch her lips move. About 30 seconds into the rambling The Slasher decided that he had heard enough. Takes his finger and places it on Barneys lips and says " Hush " and gives her another deep kiss " when its over I say my good byes, take the food, get in my car and drive off.
While i'm driving home I realize what had happened. The Slasher has just stepped my game up a notch.
Friday night I left my third hustle and headed towards Manhattan. On my way down I picked up Dough Boy & Bashment Gyal. We get to the Bar at 10:15 pm. I tell Bashy & Dough Boy to go on ahead . I needed to find a parking spot. 10:25pm I'm up in th spot I say whats up to the bouncer " Whats up Slish looong time no see where ya been?" I respond " Work, work & more work thats why I haven't been around. I work on Fridays now. How is the spot looking tonight" Bouncer responds" Niice crowd" I respond " Kewl" and walk upstairs to where the action is.
I'm looking around for familiar faces. I'll most likely have to wait until someone notices me. Why? I'm too vain to wear my glasses in a lounge, bar, or club. So I always walk around squinting until I bump into someone I know. Its stupid I know & through the years it has given people the impression that i'm stuck up. Which isn't the case at all the reason I don't say hello first is because I CAN'T SEE YOU!!!! My boy Hershey is the 1st person to greet me and says " Aiiiiight the party has just begun Slish is here. I respond " Stop that noise" Hershey says " Look at you " then pops my blazer collar
" Looking clean " I respond " Just trying to keep up with you. How you feeling anyway" Ds3 totaled his 2004 Envoy 3 months ago. The truck flipped on the FDR/ Hershey was in the car with him. He responds " I'm good . Just happy to be alive " I respond " I HEAR THAT!!!! then this little voice in my head interrupts our convo and says " Slish your thirsty you need to go the bar and find someone that will sponsor you. The thirty dollars in your pocket is for food and gas for the weekend " I excuse myself and slide on over to the bar.
My sofball buddies are gathered around the bar. What a stroke of luck. I'm sure one of these guys will hook me up with some devil juice. I say " Money Chuck hook me up" He responds " What ya drinking Slish" hmmm I start to think I can't ask for hennessy thats too expensive, won't ask for an Apple Martini he'll think i'm a sissy, & I can't drink beer because of this diet i'm on AAAGH I respond " I don't know. What ever you're drinking." Money Chuck says " Jack and Coke it is" AWWW HELL NO!!!! Last time I drank Jack Daniels I saw little white angels circling my head chanting " YOU BEEN KNOCKED THE F@#$%K OUT!!!! I respond " Chiiillllll never mind" I look to my left and see Bashy at the bar. She sees me. I give her a nod. 3 minutes later I'm sipping on an Apple Martini. Its always good to have a plan B
I'm nursing my Apple Martini and notice a slim honey complexion sister looking oh soo sexy. I squint my eyes a little. SHIT!!!! She's off limits. I hooked Coporate America up with her 7 months ago. It lasted about 3 weeks. Corporate's ego chased her away. What a waste . I would have taken a shot my damn self if it wasn't for the fact I dated her best friend Mocha a few years back. I gently tap her elbow . Honey says " Heeey Slish how ya doin" I respond " I'm good. Where's your friend" Honey responds " Where's yours" she's talking about Corporate . I respond " I don't know he said he was stopping by here. " Honey responds" Oh really he bringing his new girlfriend" I respond " No he f&#$@ked that up. He's flying solo again." She asks " What happened? I respond " You should be able to answer that question" Honey nods " I guess I was a bit too much for him. He seems to like obedient women. I respond " You see that , answered your own question"
I see Mocha's locks through the crowd. I reach & caress her arm. Mocha looks and says " Heeeeyy Sunshine" and gives me a warm hug and multiple kisses on my cheek. Damn she feels good. Had to remind myself that I am in public and need to keep my hands above her waist. I respond " Your're looking lovely as always. Hows that six pack coming along ? Mocha " I'm still working on it got a 2 pack now." since i'm an oppurtunist I say " Let me see" Mocha " Noooooo not heeeeere" judging from her response & the empty glass in her left hand i'd say SHE'S HAD A FEW!!!! I respond " Let me touch it" She agrees. I rub her flat stomach and start having flashes of porn star fantasies. I let go quickly. I sensed the The Slasher persona awakening. When he's up there's no stopping the madness. I give her another hug she gives me more soft kisses on my cheek and leaves the bar shortly after. I make a mental note. " Slish put Mocha on your to do list"
Its 1am. Time for me and Bashy to get going AND WHERE THE HELL IS DOUGH BOY!!!!! I haven't seen him all night. I go outside, check the bathrom, look in every dark corner of the bar. No sign of him. F@#$K it . He gets left. Bashy and I get to my car. I check my cell for missed calls . I see Dough Boys name. Okay this means he left a message stating that he bounced and went to Harlem to see his girl. That reminds me I need to head uptown quickly and catch Barneys before she heads back to queens. Off I go.
While i'm driving I notice i'm feeling reeeal woozy. The last drink I had just kicked in. Voice in my head is saying " Slish your not gonna make it give Bashy the steering wheel" What the voice doesn't know is that bashy can't drive. Well legally that is . When this happens to me which isn't often. My mind and body usually go into auto pilot. Meaning I'll get home but probably won't remember anything in between. Now Bashy is insisting I take her to Mcdonalds. DAMN!!! If she only knew how much i'm struggling right now. We go to at least 3. All of them CLOSED!!!!. Bashy is determined to stuff her face & will not be denied so she settles for KFC. My cell phone starts to ring while on the drive thru line. Bashy says " Bwoooy yuh hot. Cell phone just ringin off the hook" Its Barneys. I pick up " Hey" Barneys responds " Papi where are you? I have a plate of food ready for you" I respond " I'ma coming give me 20 minutes"
Bashy gets her food and I drop her off at her apt. Zoom Zoom Zoom the batmobile is off to see Barneys. She's in the bronx hanging out with her girls. One of those no men allowed get drunk pow wows. I get there in 5 minutes Flat. I call Barneys and tell her i'm down stairs. I pull up to the building. She's already outside waiting for me. Then something comes over me. All of sudden my swagger is different. Uh Oh!!!!! The Slasher has AWAKENED!!!! and taken over. I'm experiencing some out of body shit right now. I feel myself get out of the car . Papi Chulo mode is in full effect now. I walk up to Barneys, hug her, lift her off the curb so that she's directly in front of me, bend down and give her this " If you were not with your friends right now and I had my own place. I'd tear your little ass up" kind of kiss. She doesn' t resist and responds with opening her mouth even wider so that our tongues can salsa. When i'm done Barneys lets out this sigh and says " Oh my " I say " you been drinking" Barneys " Just a little" I say " Whats in the bag" Barneys starts rambling on about whats in the bag. I really didn't care. I just wanted to watch her lips move. About 30 seconds into the rambling The Slasher decided that he had heard enough. Takes his finger and places it on Barneys lips and says " Hush " and gives her another deep kiss " when its over I say my good byes, take the food, get in my car and drive off.
While i'm driving home I realize what had happened. The Slasher has just stepped my game up a notch.
posted by Mr.Slish at
10/02/2005 04:30:00 PM
3 Comments:
See what happens when I am not around. Bashment is right....when I am not around you should not be drinking like that since I am generally your designated driver. Your Saturday morning sounds like my Sunday morning but I'll discuss that with you later. Hmmmmm Barney's gets a little of the "happy sauce" in her and she is more receptive....interesting information to build on.
Not a bad night Slish...that last episode with Barney's sounded like a good look...You gotta build your tolerance level up on the drinks though...way too low, LOL
That's what I'm talking about Slish. The less you talk the better..LOL Just kidding, not really. Glad to see you're stepping your game up...Next thing you know you'll be knockin boots under those bright lights in her apt!! Gotta Love it....Let the Slash persona come out a little more and handle your business.
GrantLove!
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