Whats up readers. Couldn't write any stories last week. Too many of my friends having nervous breakdowns. Clipperman is still a bit shaken up over the barber shop incident. Its gotten so bad that he was cutting hair from his home. Customers were taking the bus to this niggas house. I had to give him one of my eye of the tiger, malcolm X, Free at last Free at last speeches. It seemed to work he went back to his shop.

My cousin Screwface was admitted to the psyche ward. He's totally delusional . I've been going to see him everday so far. I didn't believe it at first but he's a sick man. His doctor told me his psychosis is manageable with medication and his non consumption of alcohol. Well that might be a problem since Screwface refuses to take the medication and won't stop drinking. Since he is one of my cases I made sure he can't get out unless he agrees to go to rehab. OOh he cussed me something horrible when I dropped that bomb on him. Thats okay because nothing good comes easy.


Now on to some lighter news. About six months ago I started a referral system for my single friends. If I have a friend who's single and know someone who might be their type I make the call and set up a meeting. Last night was one of those occasions. My homegirl Mocha's friend Honey is a beautiful woman. I tried to pass her on to Corporate America but his arrogance f#$%ked that up in less than a month. So I decide to introduce her to one of my other boys Mr. M. I owed M another referral since the young lady I hooked him up with a few months back had a secret he just couldn't deal with.

We pick up Mocha and Honey at 7:30 pm. They come out. I watch them walk to the car looking so diva sexy. I have to remind myself " Slish you are here for M. Your personal goal to remove Mocha from those tight ass pants is not an option. The SLASHER must remain dormant.

The Den was my choice for the evening. The food is good & the ambience is perfect for mingling. The ladies were very impressed. I order four shots of the house special. Figured. "Get Honey tipsy so that M's romantic value meter could rise." After those were polished off we decide to try out some of the specialty drinks The Den is famous for. I order The Foxy Brown , Mocha orders some fruity drink, M gets a heineken & Honey orders a Charlie Murphy. I get my drink, taste it, "WHEW !!! This is some good shit" Mocha looks at me and says " Let me taste" I pass my drink to her" Then Honey decides she wants a taste Mocha passes it to her. I start to giggle to myself while thinking "Glad I used a straw. My lips were in a naughty place the night before. "

Its 10:30 pm. Our stomachs our full and we're all feeling veeeeerrry irie( Jamaican for Cool) I'm worried about what the bill is going to look like. M ordered a lot of shit. I can hear my financial counselor now STOP SPENDING YOUR MONEY IN THESE PLACES!!! The bill comes its not that bad 174.00 gratuity included for 4 people WELL ALRIIIGHT. Mr M and I can split that bad boy right down the middle.

M and I dropped Mocha off first. Then I came up with some excuse that I had to get right home. Wanted M to take Honey home without me being in the car. Moves had to be made. No distractions allowed.

As we're driving to my house my cell phone rings . Its Harlem Nites I pick up " Hello" Harlem says " What are you up to? I respond "Excuse me?!? " Harlem says " You heard me negro don't act new" I respond " I'm on my way home I was hanging out with some friends." Harlem says" Friends huh" I say " Why are you tracking my movements woman" She responds" Oh no reason you ran across my mind. Decided I would see what you are up to" Ya see that shit . Thats what I get for giving the jump off quality time. Since Barney's and I are moving kind of slow( NO SEX!!!!). I've been spending more time with Harlem Nites. I say " Let me call you when I get in the house" I hang up.

We're in front of my house now. I get out of the car. Honey gets in the front seat. My cell phone rings again its Barneys. I say my goodbyes to the future couple and pick up " Hey baby whats good" Barneys " Heeeey I was just checking on you" I respond " Oh really think we could do that in person?" Barneys" Its soo late and I look like shit" I was not trying to hear the word no and respond " Come out and play. You're not sleepy I'm still tipsy, and the rain drops have stopped falling on everyones head. Lets Play" Barneys" Weeeelll you could come over" oooh DID SHE SAY COME OVER!!!!! I respond " What did you just say? " she responds " Come over silly we can have a night cap" The Slasher is awake now. I get in my car and head for Queens.

I get to Barney's house at 12 Mid. She opens the door and escorts me to her safe haven Damn!!! her sister is still awake and sitting at the computer located behind the couch. Can't make any moves until she goes to bed. Shit!!! I need a drink.

Barneys shows me around. We end up in the kitchen. She hands me a bottle of Dominican rum. I'm thinking "I drink this. No telling what personailty is going to pop out of my ass. F#$%K it I can always apologize later." I gets to sipping.

We're on the couch now. Well i'm on the couch and she's on the floor. Not part of the plan but since her sister is still awake no need to rush anything. Ten minutes later lil sis goes to bed. Hoooorah. Time for the Slasher to make a move. I feel my body remove it self from the couch and onto the floor next to Barneys. Barneys is just chatting away. The only thing i'm thinking about is how do I get my lips on hers. I decide let me play with her locks , stroke my fingers up and down her neck & rub my hands gently across her back. After about 30 minutes of that my ass started to hurt Barneys notices and gets up and sits on the couch. I do the same and resume the foreplay. The Slasher decided that this plan needed an upgrade. Before I knew it i'm kissing Barney's neck and nibbling on her ear lobes. She responds by moving closer to me, grabs my arms and puts them around her, turns her head around slowly until our lips meet. Soft kisses at first. Her lips felt soooo good. Soft and moist. Then she slips her tongue in my mouth. Tango Time!!!!. I start to get a little dizzy cause THIS WOMAN CAN KISS!!! I'm in trouble and I know it. I try to come up for air but Barney's lips are like electricity its hard to break away and I don't think I wanted to. My hands start to probe other places but Barneys is a good girl and gently removes my hand from her c cup. Thats cool cause sex too soon can ruin a budding relationship.

We tussled on the couch for about an hour barely coming up for air. My hand found its way to her c cup again and then to her ass. This time she didn't remove them just kissed me harder. I decide to leave before I go where no man has gone with Barneys in about six months.

Once again The Slasher has proven to be a productive alter ego.