It Was Only A Matter Of Time
What a frustrating weekend. Sometimes I think women were placed on this planet to test a mans sanity. They are such difficult complex creatures. If it wasn't for that juicy hole. Ya know the one that makes my teeth grind and toes curl. I WOULD LEAVE ALL OF YOU THE HELL ALONE!!!!!!!
This past Saturday I made plans to pick up Barneys from her job. We hadn't seen each other since wednesday and missed one another. I arrive a little early since the last 2 times I picked her up traffic caused me to be about 5-7 minutes late. While I'm waiting in the Batmobile I see this beautiful woman step out of the car in front of me. Mocha skin, hair in ponytail, stylish, coke bottle figure. So ofcourse being the mongrel that am I stare. My cell phone starts ringing its Corporate America I hit the speaker phone & pick up " Yo whats up" Corporate says " Where you at" I respond" I'm in front of Barneys job waiting for her to come out and YO!!! there is this banging chick right in front of The Batmobile if you were here you would be all over her ass. " Corporates dumb ass says " Slish get out of your car and talk to her for me" I respond " Nigga is you crazy Barney's about to come out of her job in five minutes and i'm not feeling the least bit suicidal today" Corporate responds" Cmon man hook me up" I respond " Aiight Aiight if she's still standing out front when Barneys comes out i'll ask her if she knows the girl" Corporate says" Fair enough"
The woman leaves and Barneys gets in the car about 2 minutes later. Corporate and I are still chatting I say . " Corporate hold on my sweetie just got in the car" I lean over and give Barneys a kiss . Corporate immediately starts asking Barneys about that chick . Barneys looking at me all puzzled and says " What is he talking about?" I respond " I saw this good looking woman when he called me and told him about it. I stated to him I would ask if you knew her but she's gone now so never mind" Barneys still looking a bit puzzled responds " Oh " Corporate running of at the mouth now I decide to hang up quickly before he says anything stupid.
We get to Barneys apt about 20 minutes later. We walk in. Her sister laying on the couch as usual meaning no sucking face while watching the tele. I SWEAR THIS CHICK NEEDS A LIFE!!!!! or a television in her bedroom WHICHEVER COMES FIRST!!!!!
About 1/2 hour goes by I notice Barneys is acting a little strange. She hasn't touched me or kissed me since we got into the house. She's downright ingnoring MY ASS!!!!!. Since she was on the cell phone with her agent I figured she's handling some business be done shortly and sitting in my lap in no time. WRONG!!!!! My little tamale was on the phone for TWO HOURS!!!!!! I'm pissed now I would have left 1 hour into my torture if I wasn't so damn hungry. I ate my food, called Corporate right after and made plans to meet up with him at some party later that evening. I walk over to Barneys and say "I'm out. Gonna go home, change, and meet Corporate later" Barneys responds " Wait let me walk you down" We're at the bottom of her stairs in front of the door. I lean down and give her another kiss and say " I need to get you away from here" Barneys responds " Away from where??" I say " Your apt. Too many distractions here " Barneys " This is my space and in my space I handle my business and business had to be handled today" referring to her 2 hour convo with her agent The Slasher wiiiide awake now and responds " Understood but if I wanted to be ignored I could have stayed home. I'm out " Barneys doesn't respond I walk out the door she closes it behind me. As i'm walking to the batmobile I feel my stomach knot up. I know that feeling all too well and I DON'T LIKE IT!!!!!!!
I'm home sitting on my couch stomach in knots I already decide i'm not hanging out with Corporate. Two hours goes by . I decide to call Barneys becauese I wasn't happy with the way I left things. Call is made Barneys picks up " Hello" I say " Hey I didn't like the way I left things a couple of hours ago." She says" Well Slish you set the tone" I'm confused now and say " HUH?? what do you mean I set the tone?" Barneys says " I haven't seen you since wednesday I get into your car tonight and you and yo boy are talking about some other chick and how pretty she is" OH HELL NAW !!!! SHE'S MAD ABOUT THAT!!!! thats what all this shit was about? she continues " Didn't you notice how quiet I was in the car and why I was stand offish at my apt. I respond" I did notice but I would have never thought you would get annoyed over something like that I mean the chick wasn't even around when you got into the car." This is some bullshit but I didnt want to argue so I apologized for my behavior. Barneys last words to me that evening were " Slish we'll touch base later" WHAT!!!!! Did she just dismiss me after all the sucking, licking and grinding we been doin. WE'LL TOUCH BASE LATER!!!!! she can touch something alright THEEEEESE NUUUTS!!!! oops sorry That was the Slasher.
Truth is i'm not really sweating it. Barneys is a smart woman
This past Saturday I made plans to pick up Barneys from her job. We hadn't seen each other since wednesday and missed one another. I arrive a little early since the last 2 times I picked her up traffic caused me to be about 5-7 minutes late. While I'm waiting in the Batmobile I see this beautiful woman step out of the car in front of me. Mocha skin, hair in ponytail, stylish, coke bottle figure. So ofcourse being the mongrel that am I stare. My cell phone starts ringing its Corporate America I hit the speaker phone & pick up " Yo whats up" Corporate says " Where you at" I respond" I'm in front of Barneys job waiting for her to come out and YO!!! there is this banging chick right in front of The Batmobile if you were here you would be all over her ass. " Corporates dumb ass says " Slish get out of your car and talk to her for me" I respond " Nigga is you crazy Barney's about to come out of her job in five minutes and i'm not feeling the least bit suicidal today" Corporate responds" Cmon man hook me up" I respond " Aiight Aiight if she's still standing out front when Barneys comes out i'll ask her if she knows the girl" Corporate says" Fair enough"
The woman leaves and Barneys gets in the car about 2 minutes later. Corporate and I are still chatting I say . " Corporate hold on my sweetie just got in the car" I lean over and give Barneys a kiss . Corporate immediately starts asking Barneys about that chick . Barneys looking at me all puzzled and says " What is he talking about?" I respond " I saw this good looking woman when he called me and told him about it. I stated to him I would ask if you knew her but she's gone now so never mind" Barneys still looking a bit puzzled responds " Oh " Corporate running of at the mouth now I decide to hang up quickly before he says anything stupid.
We get to Barneys apt about 20 minutes later. We walk in. Her sister laying on the couch as usual meaning no sucking face while watching the tele. I SWEAR THIS CHICK NEEDS A LIFE!!!!! or a television in her bedroom WHICHEVER COMES FIRST!!!!!
About 1/2 hour goes by I notice Barneys is acting a little strange. She hasn't touched me or kissed me since we got into the house. She's downright ingnoring MY ASS!!!!!. Since she was on the cell phone with her agent I figured she's handling some business be done shortly and sitting in my lap in no time. WRONG!!!!! My little tamale was on the phone for TWO HOURS!!!!!! I'm pissed now I would have left 1 hour into my torture if I wasn't so damn hungry. I ate my food, called Corporate right after and made plans to meet up with him at some party later that evening. I walk over to Barneys and say "I'm out. Gonna go home, change, and meet Corporate later" Barneys responds " Wait let me walk you down" We're at the bottom of her stairs in front of the door. I lean down and give her another kiss and say " I need to get you away from here" Barneys responds " Away from where??" I say " Your apt. Too many distractions here " Barneys " This is my space and in my space I handle my business and business had to be handled today" referring to her 2 hour convo with her agent The Slasher wiiiide awake now and responds " Understood but if I wanted to be ignored I could have stayed home. I'm out " Barneys doesn't respond I walk out the door she closes it behind me. As i'm walking to the batmobile I feel my stomach knot up. I know that feeling all too well and I DON'T LIKE IT!!!!!!!
I'm home sitting on my couch stomach in knots I already decide i'm not hanging out with Corporate. Two hours goes by . I decide to call Barneys becauese I wasn't happy with the way I left things. Call is made Barneys picks up " Hello" I say " Hey I didn't like the way I left things a couple of hours ago." She says" Well Slish you set the tone" I'm confused now and say " HUH?? what do you mean I set the tone?" Barneys says " I haven't seen you since wednesday I get into your car tonight and you and yo boy are talking about some other chick and how pretty she is" OH HELL NAW !!!! SHE'S MAD ABOUT THAT!!!! thats what all this shit was about? she continues " Didn't you notice how quiet I was in the car and why I was stand offish at my apt. I respond" I did notice but I would have never thought you would get annoyed over something like that I mean the chick wasn't even around when you got into the car." This is some bullshit but I didnt want to argue so I apologized for my behavior. Barneys last words to me that evening were " Slish we'll touch base later" WHAT!!!!! Did she just dismiss me after all the sucking, licking and grinding we been doin. WE'LL TOUCH BASE LATER!!!!! she can touch something alright THEEEEESE NUUUTS!!!! oops sorry That was the Slasher.
Truth is i'm not really sweating it. Barneys is a smart woman
posted by Mr.Slish at
11/21/2005 09:00:00 PM
8 Comments:
Now I'm not one to criticize (Actually I am, but we are not talking about me), but you walked right into that shit. There is an unwritten rule that most men don't learn until they get married. Do not mention that you find another woman attractive even when its innocent. Understand there are exceptions to the rule, like saying a woman who you will likely never get to meet is fine (Kenya Moore), BUT in everyday life, KEEP THAT SHIT TO YOURSELF!
Sounds like all Corporate wants to do is c*ckblock you. Both of you know you cant talk to one woman about another...you dont even want to discuss your mama too much. It will only cause trouble later.
Au Natural told me you got cut off. But I didn't want to get into a conversation about "The Slish and Barney Show". Corporate America is an ass, he should just kept his mouth shut. No woman wants to hear about another woman that her man finds attractive regardless of the circumstance. I understand you wanting to be upfront but damn man you got be smarter than that.
Dogg, now you know I'm about to tell you like it is. How can you be foolish enough to think that mentioning another woman to her would be OK. Right off the bat she knew YOU must have thought the girl was hot because your boy was on the phone. Right then she knew you initiated the conversation about this female, which you did. You can't be mad at her. Imagine this: You come out to meet her and first thing she askes you is if you knew some next dude with a hint of curiousity in her voice...You would spazz on her in a minute. I'm gonna keep it real right now... You think it's a small thing and maybe it is, but you can't dismiss it as trivial if it's not trivial to her. You are still way too early in your relationship to think you can be that upfront with her without her feeling a bit like,"Damn! I know this nigga aint checkin for other bitches right in front of my job!!"
Some things you have to keep to yourself, and stop letting your boys dictate that type of behavior.
Enough preaching, you still a Bee- Yatch
GL
for all your (WHACK) mackin' skills you boast about having...your an idiot! Not Corporate (and no I ain't saying that because that's a nice looking piece of ass..lol)..but your the one that fucked up. GL is right...you checking for other chicks in front of her job...that thought is always gonna be there now...even if she says it's not.
I swear...you be sabotaging shit...are you afraid of commitment?
Well I got something you won't have a problem committing too..*slurp slurp and a Ahhhhhhhhh* :-)
BTW - you haven't posted any music with your post lately...when you was new and in love you had some gushy shit....now?.....SILENCE
LOL
this shT is comedy. and the comments are fuqing hilarious. but on the reals, son, don't mention another woman unless it's a relative.
LMFAO LMFAO To Slish Love Fina,
Slish, hubby knows what he's talking about, SHIT HE BETTER. He's married to a hot tempered Puerto Rican chic, and when it comes to other chics I can be the saaaame way SOMETIMES. But he's right, once you two have been together long enough and are more comfortable, you can speak on things like that without getting knocked upside the head about it, because by then she would just think "AIN'T NO OTHER BITCH GONNA DEAL WITH HIS DUMB ASS THE WAY I DO"... LOVE YA MUCHO
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