Fear
4th of July evening. Barneys and I are walking along the pier under the Triboro bridge in queens. We decide to stop and look at the fire works across the Hudson and watch the boats as they drift by. Barneys stands in front of me. I hug her from behind and gently kiss her on the left side of her neck. She closes her eyes, smiles, and hugs me tighter. " Baby" I respond " Yes Ma ? Barneys " Baaaaaby" I answer " Yes Ma ??? " Barneys says" Shawnla left a comment on your latest blog entry." I respond " Yeah I saw it, but she didn't say much " Barneys " I know baby, but can I ask you a question ? " I say " Anything " Barneys' If Shawnla was to call and say that she really does love you and wants you in her life. What would you do? How would that make you feel ?" I start thinking to myself THIS HAS TO BE A TRICK QUESTION. I say " Sweetheart ive already made my decision" I Bend down and squeeze her real tight. 20 minutes later we leave the pier, go home, and make some fireworks of our own.
July 5th 5pm I'm walking out of the building where they force me to work for pennies. My cell phone rings. I look at the caller id screen. It says anonymous caller. That could only be one person. Let me find out my sweetie is a witch !! I pick up " Hello " Shawnla says " Hi. Slish. How are you" I respond " I'm good and you. " Shawnla " I've been okay. Just keeping a low profile. Hey! I checked out your latest blog entry interesting story. I say " Oh really which part of the story did you find interesting. " Shawnla " The whole thing it was good. Sooooo Slish you getting married ? Okay its obvious this woman has been keeping tabs on me by reading my blog. I respond" No, but i'm in a good place right now. Love has caught up to me FINALLY " Shawnla " So you're back with your ex" I respond " Yes. Figured it was time for me to go home. "
Shawnla "Slish you watch that show girlfriends? " I respond " On occasion" Shawnla " You remember when Mya and Darnell got divorced. I respond " Vaguely" Shawnla" Anyway he meets another woman and decides to marry her. The day of the wedding Mya comes crashing through the church doors . Darnell looks at her and decides he doesn't love the woman he is about to marry but still in love with Mya. Leaving the bride at the alter" Here we go. I respond " You say that to say what Shawnla" Shawnla responds " I've had a revelation. I love you Slish. I've always loved you. I'm not telling you this to cause any confusion between you and Barneys. Its just that I was in such a dark place when you expressed how you felt about me. I was so scared " I say " First you could never cause me any confusion when it comes to my feelings for Barneys, I am where she is and she is where i'm at. You know me Shawnla. Once a woman has my heart no other exists. Shawnla says " Slish I know, but i'm not one to hide my feelings. I love you and if you were ever to express your love for me again. It would definitely be reciprocated" I respond " Thank you" Shawnla sighs " Well Slish with all that said i'll let you go. Goodbye." I respond " Bye Shawnla"
I stare at my cell phone and just shake my head thinking "Love conquers all Fear Shawnla. Love conquers all Fear."
July 5th 5pm I'm walking out of the building where they force me to work for pennies. My cell phone rings. I look at the caller id screen. It says anonymous caller. That could only be one person. Let me find out my sweetie is a witch !! I pick up " Hello " Shawnla says " Hi. Slish. How are you" I respond " I'm good and you. " Shawnla " I've been okay. Just keeping a low profile. Hey! I checked out your latest blog entry interesting story. I say " Oh really which part of the story did you find interesting. " Shawnla " The whole thing it was good. Sooooo Slish you getting married ? Okay its obvious this woman has been keeping tabs on me by reading my blog. I respond" No, but i'm in a good place right now. Love has caught up to me FINALLY " Shawnla " So you're back with your ex" I respond " Yes. Figured it was time for me to go home. "
Shawnla "Slish you watch that show girlfriends? " I respond " On occasion" Shawnla " You remember when Mya and Darnell got divorced. I respond " Vaguely" Shawnla" Anyway he meets another woman and decides to marry her. The day of the wedding Mya comes crashing through the church doors . Darnell looks at her and decides he doesn't love the woman he is about to marry but still in love with Mya. Leaving the bride at the alter" Here we go. I respond " You say that to say what Shawnla" Shawnla responds " I've had a revelation. I love you Slish. I've always loved you. I'm not telling you this to cause any confusion between you and Barneys. Its just that I was in such a dark place when you expressed how you felt about me. I was so scared " I say " First you could never cause me any confusion when it comes to my feelings for Barneys, I am where she is and she is where i'm at. You know me Shawnla. Once a woman has my heart no other exists. Shawnla says " Slish I know, but i'm not one to hide my feelings. I love you and if you were ever to express your love for me again. It would definitely be reciprocated" I respond " Thank you" Shawnla sighs " Well Slish with all that said i'll let you go. Goodbye." I respond " Bye Shawnla"
I stare at my cell phone and just shake my head thinking "Love conquers all Fear Shawnla. Love conquers all Fear."
posted by Mr.Slish at
7/07/2006 03:07:00 AM
31 Comments:
Nothing is sexier than a man in love.... no wonder she wants you back now... too bad she isn't responsible for the change in you... you let her down gracefully, good for you.
I know you read my post regarding the one that got away. Let me tell you, hindsight is a mother.
I have learned it by living it, real love is when the person is not afraid to stand there and fight for the relationship. To put their feelings out there regardless of getting hurt. To take a chance. If you play it safe....it's not the real thing.
You did the right thing. Good luck to you and your lady.
Your on some whole other shit...I just shake my head at you sometimes. lol
Yet, Slish...it's good. I see that being you...soooo works for Barney's. I like this love thang y'all have and the honesty...and your dedication. I know you think I am bullshittin' you...because that's the type of friendship we have...but fa real fa real... I like you in love.
I know about all those broads you use to...umma, talk to *lol*...and by far, B makes you happy and that love shit shows...not just through your writing but in your voice. Yeah for B, for puttin' up with your silly ass...
B, he was all kinds of sulking after the first time around, getting lost and caught up in some random shit he didn't need to be in...being with you has got him centered and stable. He's a happy man....
Too damn happy...LOL All mushy and whatnot...:-)
...I hope your friend Shawnla finds peace and a love that was meant just for her...all for her!
Wow! People always want what they can't have. I can't help but wonder what she wanted you to do as a result of her declaration...
I agree with sandradee - the way you carried these was classy. You are very honorable, Slishy.
WEll now she can get some peace within herself.....and for u handling like taht..u didnt buckle under pressure.....now in some ways u are truly FREE and can get on
Yo, I saw the same thing in a movie once, it was called...Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith! A witch? No, but,"the dark side surrounds Barneys!"
Mr. Music
@ Sandradee You think i'm seeeexy You think I'm seeexy...lol SLASHER!!! Anyway Sandra I respect Shawnla and I know it took a lot for her to come to me knowing i've moved on. Hope she realizes now that time waits for no one...
@ 1969 I read it and loved it. Everyone please read that post.
@ Blah Who knew you were really paying attention ! I am different know. I can't do this livin thing by myself. I'm more focused when I have a partner in this urban war we call LIFE
@ Sandybaby Shawnla knows me very well. She knew what my answer would be. Hopefully this will give her closure to this chapter in her life.
@ Ill Nana/Ms New Booty/Negropino Oooh the hell with it! WOMAN WHYYYYY!!! do you keep changing your name. You Sybil!!! lol
Anyway I never buckle under pressure and I handled it the way it should have been. No need for the I told ya so's and the you only want what you can't have speeches. I respect Shawnla even when she couldn't hear me over the music I respected her decision. Just hope she respects mine.
@ Mr Music Barneys is going to cut you for that comment!!! But who cares what you say your an ass..lol Still got luv for ya. Btw When are you coming back from Italy.. Gonna have Barneys meet you at the airport so she can stab you right in the ass like that transexual your living with does on a daily basis.. Beeeeatch!!!!
Ok why are you and I like brother and sister from different parents *scratching my head* I got the same freaking wierd azz out of the blue phone call from my ex (Queens Mistake) last night. I plan to post about it so I won't say much here except that I swear I don't understand why life works this way. When you have resigned to moving forward the past always wants to rear its ugly head.
Funny how in life people continue to make the same mistakes...that never miss a good thing until its gone thing just continues to repeat itself...you'd think we'd recognize good and try to hold onto it while we have it instead of waiting until it's gone and then trying to see if you can have it back.
You know I am a big fan of you and Barney's love. When something is honest and real you can't help but be captivated by it. Your love gives my heart hope...you both are very lucky to have the kind of truth that exists in your relationship. I thank the Most High for this example...you guys are a blessing.
Nice story, Slish. And women don't understand that when a man says he don't want you, that's really what he means. *Except in my case with Mr. Swank himself* But why does when a man says It's over - it's really over. But when a woman tells a man It's over, he keeps coming back for more? Why are men double standard -ded (?) like that? Is it because men like to be the one to have called the Shot? It aint over until HE says it's over? Please tell me why...
@ Roycee It never ends huh. Barneys and I Thank you for your blessing.
As for Queens Mistake he probably been running into a lot of Royce wannabees and decided he wanted the real thing. Hey didn't you a have dream about him last month. Whoa thats scary..lol The powers that be are about to test your character and spirit...Weapons will be needed.
Well that depends on whats going on between the both of you. Do you speak to Mr Swank more than you should. Because if you're not interested and ts hard for him to be your friend you should't be speaking to him at all.
Men seem to think when a woman says no she really means yes part of that old school way of thinking that all women play hard to get. Todays woman knows and means exactly what she says. Brothas are just to stubborn to except that concept. Or maybe just maybe Mr Swank does love you and is willing to risk it all...
Isanity that last comment was for you..lol
If she "stabs me in the ass like that transexual I'm living with does" then you would be implying that your cuddle-muffin has a DICK! I'm sure she wouldn't be too pleased with that... Anyway, I'm back in NY in early September. As a precaution, I'll have Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda by myside. I know Darth Sidious is VERY powerful! Hahaha!!!
(disclaimer for Barneys)- it's all about jokes, please don't take any ofense to what I say. Your "man" tormented me as a likkle yout' so in turn I must fling it back 'pon him.
Mr. Music
@ Mr Music Lmaof..I have no come back for that..You got me good..lol
Hey Cunado..
I love your dedication to Barneys and this post proved a lot to me about your intentions w/ my sis!
Ooooh child and your line of.. "Yes. Figured it was time for me to go home”.. BEAUTIFULLY PUT.
I agree with Sandradee... "Nothing is sexier than a man in love.... no wonder she wants you back now!"
P.S. I told her she loved you before she even knew it.. you guys are a good thang!
O yea.. where's my philly sandwich.. (JK)..LOL!
WOW!!!! but your woman is not a witch.. SHE KNOWS WHEN SOMEONE IS TRYING TO PISS ON HER TERRITORY... *u know what I mean*..
anyway I'll be back to read daily :) thanks for realizing you love your woman and no matter what you made your decision and stick with it :)
not one to hide her feelings huh.. sounds more like damn he love somebody else and not thinking bout me no more.. what can I do to change that..
good look bruh.. :) u made me proud..
your lady is a lucky one :)
@ Cyn Shit why yo ass didn't call and tell me...
Will you settle for a Philly cheese steak from the Westechester mall. They're good...lol
@ Daddy's girl I'm the one thats lucky...:)
two things come to mind while reading this post.
1) am i the only African on earth who tries to keep their blog on the low low.
2) Did Shawnala just get put on double blast?!!
Hot Damn!
Slish, it's time to press for a 3-some. Stop bullshittin' and let my man Slash out!
@Miss Ahmad
I try to keep my shit on the low, too. You can assume a lot, but you'll see no pics DIRECTLY on the blog, only links.
KZ
Sing it with me ya'll...
I love me baby!
Yup, Yup I love you boy
I love my baby...
(the clean version)
Well, what can I say..
I really don't want Shawnla to come under attack, I commend her for professing her love to Slish. That is hard to do especially when you know that the person is with someone new and has moved on.
He is in good hands! and I am happy that he did find his way back after we broke up. Hind sight is 20/20, and I am grateful that my vision was clear.
I love him more then yesterday and less then tomorrow.
Thank ya'll for the good wishes.
We are doing the damn thing!
@Rmack... Cuñado- means brother in law..
@Mr. Music... I aign't gonna cut ya! (not yet) LOL..
@ Slish we are both lucky. Luv ya Pa.
@Everybody else stay blessed!
You have Balls of Steel! Which is why you walk tall, Brother. Wish CoronaMan Congrats this weekend. Catch that garter, cause you know you are next, Bubula!
Stay safe!
Peace
@ R Mack Barneys Is fine. One thing about my sweetie she does not have the jealousy gene. Braneys philosophy. If a chick can take her man then she can have him.
@ Ms Ahmad Wheres the fun in that!!! Besides Shawnla put me on blast first. She too has a blog...
@ Zed..No Bullshit The Slasher is a part of me and mostly is here to stay but he will only be used for good.
@ Freelancer...Front street is where I live. You want the address..lol
@ Barneys Now do you guys see why I love her..lol..I luv ya Flaka...
@ Chez. Balls of steel huh..That explains the Clanging Noise between my legs..lol I'll let spankinazz know you said whats up...Damn you have a good memory
Wow, I don't think most of my friends are into blogs. My mom read my joint the other day I almost gagged!
I likes to keep my lives separate!
HMMMM... Got Damn son here you go again... I told you before you talk too fuck'n much... Your not dig'n Shawnla so why talk about her.. That shits a dead issue black... Nuff said... Stick wit Barney... Truth be told, the jury is still out on her but for right now and only for right now I'll reserve judgement cuz your my boy and your happy... Or at least you sound happy.
Read between the lines and you will figure out who this is.. Clue, I grew up with you so I know you son. I know your style. I know how you do. Your are the same cat elementary school. You are the same cat from of the block. And you have not changed a bit.
@ Anon Lol..."I know your style. I know how you do. Your are the same cat elementary school. You are the same cat from of the block. And you have not changed a bit."
So is that supposed to be a compliment?...
Last time I checked this is my blog. So if you're reading its obvious I gave it to you.So read all of my business and enjoy the ride. I don't talk too much. If that was the case I'm sure I would have mentioned something your dumb ass did along time ago...lol..
DAMMMMMMMN!
Barney is psychic...*lol*
I gotta go read what Shawnla wrote.
I love the relationship and honesty you and Barneys possess. Hopefully, I'll met my mate soon, but I'm not looking...
Hey Slish, Have you ever wrote about you and Barneys meeting? If so send me the link so I can read it, please. Thanks...
@ Nsane My Sweetie is psychic or damn near.
Now unfortunately I have not had the time to teach myself how to do that create a link to a post trick...So go back to my Sept Posts 9th, 20th, and 25th...The 9th is about how we met..
AWWW @ this! I swear I am a freakin SAP! I love love and love when people are in love and doin the shyt the way its spose to be done! I admire Barneys for not gettin jealous or envious or any of that cuz she knows what's real. It aint easy finding somebody who'll hold you and the relationship down when you got people from ya past tryna infultrate *sp* lol! I am you guys #1 fan!
*throw up face @ Barneys and Slish with all that mushy stuff* Nah I'm just kidding. LOL! Your love is beautiful. Maybe I will be blessed to have love like that in my life one day...*thinking to myself i doubt it*
aaahh.. barneys is a mediabruja!! lol.. it's all good it's that woman's intuition..
despite what shawnla says she's fucking lying.. homegirl only wants you because you're with someone else. straight up. you're happy and it's not with her and misery loves company. close that chapter. change your cell number. never write about her ass again on this blog. keep it movin'. and move towards barneys.
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