Welcome To The BBQ

Batman Music !!!!!

I say " Where are you now? " Zed responds " Oh I doubled back and got on the 2 train. Just don't know how far away I am from that Gunhill road stop. Next stop is Pelham Pkwy " I respond " WAIT RIGHT THERE! I'm like 2 minutes from that train station. I make a bee line and head for the African.

2 Minutes later Zed is in the Van doing a meet and greet with Barneys. Barneys says" Baby I'm hungry and I need my iced coffee. I'm going to run into that Dunkin Donuts on the corner." She gets out the van and goes in the store. I turn to Zed " Yo ! Remember the chick that came into Deweys last night. " Zed " Which one ? " I say " The one that recognized you from the lips pic on your blog. Her name is Cat" Zed " Yeeeeeah " I say " You know what she said to me after I walked you to the train station last night " Zed laughing " What ? " I respond " And I quote " I'd fuck Zed. Lucky for him i'm on my period " Zed starts laughing again" No she didn't " I say " Negro you ain't even been in Nyc two full days and some chick wants to FUCK YOU!!! " Zed continues to laugh, Barneys gets back into the van and we pull off.

30 minutes later Barneys, Zed, Picasso and I are standing outside my parents house. I'm pissed off because my keys to the house are in the bronx and the fried chicken and rice and peas are inside. I make a call to Slish Sr. He doubles back and hands me his keys . We go inside and pick up the BBq goodies. On the way out Picasso notices a bottle of my daddy's Jamaican White rum and decides to take it along. Trouble Trouble Troooouble !

25 minutes later we pull up at the park. I see Lightweight sitting in front of her truck reading a book. Phoenix is nowhere in sight. Probably in the bathroom admiring herself. I introduce everyone, unpack the van and show Picasso where the grills are. Phoenix comes strolling back giving me a its about time you got here look. I introduce her to Zed and Barneys. While they make small talk I sneak off over to Picasso and ask him to hit me with some of that White Rum. Picasso quickly obliges . Barneys catches me " BABY!!! Its not even 12:00 noon" I jump and respond like the wino that I am " I just need a little taste " Picasso laughs and says in his Jamaican accent " Bwooooy . Barneys have yuh under some heavy manners" I laugh and respond " Mind yuh business and keep hitting me with a cup of this gasoline every 1/2 an hour. I shout out to Zed " Yo you want some of this feel good juice " Zed responds " Naaaah I drink that and you'll have to carry me out this park" I look Zed up and down and say " On second thought you ain't getting none of this shit. You're a big muthafucka. Yo ass fall out and get left in this park. You too big to carry! We all start laughing. Phoenix comes over and says " Slish what you over here drinking " Picasso responds before I do " White rum. Matter of fact you need some to take that edge off you " I slowly move away from Picasso after he said that CAUSE HE ABOUT TO GET A VERBAL LASHING!

An hour and 2 cups of Devil Juice later. I start having thoughts about dragging Barneys into the woods for some Heavy Petting and breathing. Lucky for her my boy Sun Man shows up with his family. Sun Man " I just called you asshole. " I say " What for ? " Sun Man " Thought I got lost figured I would call you before my ass ended up in Texas! " Sun man's girlfriend and son start laughing Sun Man " Son I want you to meet the man who verbally abused your father throughout elementary school " I look at Sun Man's son and say " Your father was a bully that I couldn't beat so I teased him instead. Yo Daddy's butt was sooooo big " Sun Man " Sliiiiish !!!! " I continue " We used to say if he was a girl we'd hit on him " Sun man's son starts to laugh hysterically and says " Daddy is that true ? " Sun man laughs and responds " Unfortunately " I say " Sun Man I want you to meet my future. Barneys this is my boy Sun Man and his family" They make small talk and I sneak off and get me another cup of devil juice.

1pm i'm waaaay past tipsy, but no one seems to notice. I walk over to Phoenix and help her with whatever she was doing. I look towards the parking Lot and see that our guests are starting to arrive. My boy D mack is unpacking his van. Phoenix's eyes light up " He married? " I respond " Uuuh Yeah . " Phoenix " Wheres his wife? I respond " In the van with the rest of his 3 CHILDREN Homewrecker!!!! Phoenix shrugs her shoulders " Awww well " I laugh and walk over to the parking lot to greet the guests


3 pm most of the guests have arrived. Royce and her crew come in like the Number one Stunnas that they are. Chezniki and her sisters arrived either before or after I can't seem to remember anyway Chezniki says " No Thongs ??? " I laugh and respond " Ya see thats why yo nasty ass almost got me into a fight in that Club a few months back " Chezniki introduces me to her sisters and of I go for another cup of Devil juice.


Cook out is in full swing now. As i'm walking away from Picasso. I feel something Brush across my ear and go SPLAT!!!! on the grass. I look down and its a green water balloon! OOh Shit!!! I quickly find my own supply and the water wars begin. My first target was my boy D mack. I throw the water missile. D Mack looks up and quickly moves out of the way. My boy Speedy was sitting right behind him SPLAT!!! right in the face! Fuck it !!!! I lit that whole section up. But like all wars the enemy will retaliate. Which was bad for me because I had depleted my supply of water ballons. About six Africans ganged up on me. As I ran away I tried to snatch some water ballons from the kiddies but they just threw what they had at me !!! All of a sudden it was desert Slish!!! I dodged a few caught a few but got hit by a whooooole lot!!! My ass was drenched!!!

As I walked back from the parking lot dripping wet. I notice Royce and her crew laughing and carrying on with Zed, Chezniki playing spades , Barneys holding her niece and chilling with her sisters and My boys being the fathers I always knew they could be. At that moment I start thinking to my self " This is what the African American Family is all about. If I could bottle what I've seen here today. I would be a millionaire.