The Jungle
As I'm walking through the corridor at work " Good Morning Mr. Slish," " Good Morning Mr. Slish", "Good Morning Mr Slish" "Heeeeeeey Slish." Lawd PLEASE PLEASE take this temptation away from me ! Today the Temptress is wearing tight gray capri slacks. Fish net stockings , with black YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHIN YET pumps. Temptress says " Once again you have stepped into my office without my breakfast " I look around to make sure i'm the one she's talking to and respond " You say that to say what" Temptress " Slish! You know what. Be like that. Its bad enough you ain't get me nothing for my birthday" I shake my head and start chuckling Temptress looks at me with those chestnut eyes and says " Whats so funny Slish. Why you laughin" I think to myself "If she could only use that Mega Booty for good." I sign my time sheet and walk away from temptation.
1/2 hour later The Temptress walks into my work area to get some coffee. She greets the rest of my staff and proceeds to the coffee maker. She pours herself a cup, looks in my direction, smiles, then walks away while stirring her spoon. She pauses, turns around, and says "Slish you like my stilettos." I look over my desk. FOR THE LOVE OF BRUCE ALMIGHTY PLEASE TAKE THIS TEMPTATION AWAY FROM ME! and respond " They aiight" Temptress gives me that YEAH RIGHT NUCCA look and struts her pear shaped ass right out the door. Slasher says " You are a DAMN fool! She been trying to get at you for weeks. Polite convo, always asking you questions. She wants us DAMMIT! Remind me. Why we aren't plotting to slap those ass cheeks together! I respond " Its like breaking a mirror. Any woman that fine has got to be BAD LUCK" Slasher responds " Truuuue Truuuue"
I press the speaker button on my phone and start dialing the phone number to the reason why The Temptress many attempts to get my attention go unnoticed. Shawnla picks up " Hey Baby " I say in a corny deep voice " Good morning my sexy chocolate swirl " Shawnla giggle's and responds " You are sooooo stupid" I respond " Its one of my most redeeming qualities. What are you doing? " Shawnla " Organizing my apt. " Before I respond I notice the green light on my cell phone flashing. I pick it up. Its a missed call from my cousin Bowie. If he's calling me this early something must be wrong. I say to Shawnla " Sounds boring. I was just checking on you. I'll call you back a little later" Shawnla laughs " Okay baby"
2 minutes later I call Bowie he picks up "Hello" I say " Whats the matter. Why you calling me so early in the morning. You get caught by the police for indecent exposure, Your wife find out your mistress is really a mister, or did she finally leave you for a midget that had a bigger dick ." Bowie starts laughing real hard and responds " How long you been holding on to that one" I chuckle and respond " Bout three weeks. So what can I do for you." Bowie " I needed you to do me a favor, but I can't seem to remember what that was. " I say " Listen! I am not covering for you anymore. If your wife calls and asks why her panties are stretched out with little green stains. I'll have to tell her the truth." Bowie starts laughing some more and says " That was a good one"
Bowie continues " Slish let me run something by you. The other night couple of the fellas and I went out. One of my boys met this Baaaaaad sista. " I respond " Yeah Yeah" Bowie " Anyway they hit it off and met up for lunch this week. YOU KNOW WHAT SHE DID!" I get all excited now and respond " WHAT? WHAT? Bowie " She brought her girlfriend with her and stuck my man with the bill" I sigh and say " So. Whats wrong with that." Bowie " WHAT! You don't see anything wrong with that! " I respond " No."
1. She met your boy in a club/lounge
2. She don't know if he cwazy and
3. Just in case he was cwazy she brought back up.
Ain't nothing wrong with that bruh. Ya see. You've been married for the past 13-14 years. The dating game has changed. Its a jungle out there and only the strong survive. Yo Boy should have Roared like the King Of The Jungle and politely paid that bill with no hesitation." Bowie " WHY!!! What for? I calmly respond " Bowie. Its called CLASS."
Something a woman never forgets.
1/2 hour later The Temptress walks into my work area to get some coffee. She greets the rest of my staff and proceeds to the coffee maker. She pours herself a cup, looks in my direction, smiles, then walks away while stirring her spoon. She pauses, turns around, and says "Slish you like my stilettos." I look over my desk. FOR THE LOVE OF BRUCE ALMIGHTY PLEASE TAKE THIS TEMPTATION AWAY FROM ME! and respond " They aiight" Temptress gives me that YEAH RIGHT NUCCA look and struts her pear shaped ass right out the door. Slasher says " You are a DAMN fool! She been trying to get at you for weeks. Polite convo, always asking you questions. She wants us DAMMIT! Remind me. Why we aren't plotting to slap those ass cheeks together! I respond " Its like breaking a mirror. Any woman that fine has got to be BAD LUCK" Slasher responds " Truuuue Truuuue"
I press the speaker button on my phone and start dialing the phone number to the reason why The Temptress many attempts to get my attention go unnoticed. Shawnla picks up " Hey Baby " I say in a corny deep voice " Good morning my sexy chocolate swirl " Shawnla giggle's and responds " You are sooooo stupid" I respond " Its one of my most redeeming qualities. What are you doing? " Shawnla " Organizing my apt. " Before I respond I notice the green light on my cell phone flashing. I pick it up. Its a missed call from my cousin Bowie. If he's calling me this early something must be wrong. I say to Shawnla " Sounds boring. I was just checking on you. I'll call you back a little later" Shawnla laughs " Okay baby"
2 minutes later I call Bowie he picks up "Hello" I say " Whats the matter. Why you calling me so early in the morning. You get caught by the police for indecent exposure, Your wife find out your mistress is really a mister, or did she finally leave you for a midget that had a bigger dick ." Bowie starts laughing real hard and responds " How long you been holding on to that one" I chuckle and respond " Bout three weeks. So what can I do for you." Bowie " I needed you to do me a favor, but I can't seem to remember what that was. " I say " Listen! I am not covering for you anymore. If your wife calls and asks why her panties are stretched out with little green stains. I'll have to tell her the truth." Bowie starts laughing some more and says " That was a good one"
Bowie continues " Slish let me run something by you. The other night couple of the fellas and I went out. One of my boys met this Baaaaaad sista. " I respond " Yeah Yeah" Bowie " Anyway they hit it off and met up for lunch this week. YOU KNOW WHAT SHE DID!" I get all excited now and respond " WHAT? WHAT? Bowie " She brought her girlfriend with her and stuck my man with the bill" I sigh and say " So. Whats wrong with that." Bowie " WHAT! You don't see anything wrong with that! " I respond " No."
1. She met your boy in a club/lounge
2. She don't know if he cwazy and
3. Just in case he was cwazy she brought back up.
Ain't nothing wrong with that bruh. Ya see. You've been married for the past 13-14 years. The dating game has changed. Its a jungle out there and only the strong survive. Yo Boy should have Roared like the King Of The Jungle and politely paid that bill with no hesitation." Bowie " WHY!!! What for? I calmly respond " Bowie. Its called CLASS."
Something a woman never forgets.
posted by Mr.Slish at
3/29/2007 06:41:00 PM
23 Comments:
First!
Even though I didn't meet the Handsome Coach at a club the first thing he did was offer to take me and my assistant out. He said that way I wouldn't feel uncomfortable and we could decide together if he was a serial killer.
i took my chances and went out with him alone but mostly cuz he'd already offered!
Second, and I want my damn prize! Anyway this was a damn good post...you still got it!
Good for you for resisting temptation!!!
First time here, I will be back!
dis na temptation.. nice blog..
HEY SLISH!!! I've been good I see your still doing well..avoiding temptation in heels in always nice LOL
Loved the new space...then again it might be old by now but you know i"ve been slackin on my coming by :(
What you said is very true..we never forget a corny brother LOL
You need to teach a class... You know this is one of my pet peeves, Slish.
If I hear one more guy say he wont cover the first date because, "she gotta come out her pocket too!" Ima scream!
Or if I hear one more girl say, "I always go dutch so he wont think I owe him." I dont know. I guess I was under the belief that my company and my c**chie is worth more than the $25 fish plate ?!??!
I swear, these young girls and crackheads are messing everything up for the rest of us...
:-P
@ Miss Ahmad....See! Coach is a keeper..lol
@ Anon All I got is peanuts...Thank you for the luv...:)
@ Tantrum Welcome to my planet..As far as resisting temptation it wasn't hard at all...lol
@ Ijeoma...Hey you'r a newbie. Tell us what your blog name means...
@ Honey Libra..You haven;t missed much..I had stopped blogging for about 2 1/2 months..lol
@ Chez..I ain't teaching shit! Grown ass men should know by now what proper dating etiquette is...Say it with me " Can't get no ass if you ain't got NO CLASS"...lol
True, true.
Just blog-hopping and landed at yours. Me likey!
I can really picture this whole scenario in my head and while the Temptress sounds like my kind a girl you need to be a good boy for Shawnla, lookie but don't touchie...why u all up in her office anyways..can't you move your timesheet to the other side of the island??? and don't say you stay in her path just for slasher..that's BS!
Slish...Gentlemen are a rare breed. You know I share my caribbean upbringing with you, so I will say for the record that although my island men like the ladies TOO DAMN MUCH, they at least know how to treat a lady with respect. They had that GOOD HOME TRAINING! :)
Say no to women asking you if you like their stilettos.....crazy broads in disguise.
ABSOLUTELY!!! That was part of the test to see...
1) what her homie thought of him, and
2) how he'd handle the situations.
If her homie gave him the green light AND he paid the bill for them both without so much as a thought then he'd move on to phase II. I will admit, however, that she should have warned him that she was bringin her girl...thats just common curtosy. Like what if he needed to run to the ATM to get some extra money or what if he made reservations and needed to up the number. All that said I dont see anything wrong with bringing a second set of eyes to determine if you want to go out with the clown again.
LMAO.. u go boy!! LOL for resisting temptation..
and you right.. a sista never forgets a man with class :) LOL and if things were to jump off later between them..then they will always joke about that incident!
I would not just show up with my girlfriend and expect the dude to pay. However, it des show class if he paid without making a stink. I hate men who are always concerned about money. It's an extra $20-$30. Is it really that serious? Damn.
Ok, he is married! LOL. So he thinks he can sneak and not get karma somewhere along the way. LOL. He paid a price alright. LOL
@ Idemili You likey I likey that you likey!
@ Gemini The time sheets are located in her office. I don't have the authority to move them. Second problem she eats lunch in my office becuase one of my workers is her homie. Funny I told Shawnla this scenario last night...lol Her eyes got all squinty and shit...lol
@ 1969 Sistren they are no gentlemen left! I converse with the younger ladies at my job. The stories they tell me. These brothas have no home training. What makes it wors is that these young ladies think its acceptable...I'm about to give a seminar for real.
@ Royce you know that Lunch date went down in your neck of the woods. Bowie lives in Bowie, Maryland. When he told me the story you ran across my mind. Cause it sounded like something you would do...lol
@ Bk Diva Thats the story of my life...Resisting
@ Miz JJ For these Grown up Teenagers running around calling themselves men it is that serious...lol
@ Shai...No no my cousin Bowie didn't go on the date. His boy did...lol
knew you wasnt stayin gone.
damn, its that bad that you gotta bring back-up to lunch? wow. if you gotta do all that testing and checking id have to just keep it movin. lol
@ So wise You ain't no NUFFIN!!! Bringing Back-up to lunch/dinner is the norm I remember corporate asked me to do that once...Actually I wrote about it a while back...
I guess I'm one of the "young girls" who doesn't think its a big deal who pays for dinner. That seems so trivial. If $20 isn't cause to make a big stink over, then I guess I can pay it too, right? It doesn't really matter to me, lol. I'd be more upset about it being a wack date and how he handled himself, then who paid the bill. Time is the only thing you can't get back.
Anyways, that was a good read. *Note to self: Get some stilettos!*
There are gentlemen out there. They cheat on you and then send flowers after! Good broughtupcy!
Seriously, I've never paid for dinner on a first date. And I won't. I do, however, keep 'vex' money on hand in case things aren't workin' out. (Like say, he's cheap...)
Kudos on resisting Temptress. Handle her w/ kid gloves tho, lest she start stalkiendo!
LOL @ Shawnla's squinty eyes!
@ B.Good make them pay...Anything less isn't worth your time..
@ Ms Lee How much vex money yuh tek wid yuh..lol
Very good blog lol, my first time reading your blog. Loves it!
Hey Slishy! Glad that you're back. Blogville hasn't been the same without you.
Keep us posted on the Temptress. I have a feeling that she ain't gonna quit LOL!
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