Criss Crossed

I'll trust anyone upon first meeting them. Why? Because I don't know them well enough not to. So I'll generally believe anything someone tells me as long as what they are saying is reasonable. Over the years this philosophy has worked. I've acquired some really good friends and business connections, but the inevitable always happens. One of those friends will eventually abuse that trust. Making a fool out of you and themselves.

The year 1997 when Hip Hop lost its way and D.iddy decided it was okay to say " Yeah YeahYeahYeahYeah" in every single record he produced. Doughboy calls me at home " What up Slish." I respond " What da deal Fatboy" Doughboy laughs " I'm not fat just big boned " I say " Big boned, fat, pleasantly plump you still need a bra." Doughboy responds " Ooookay You got jokes today. Anyway I'm calling you about business" I respond" Business! I have a job that pays me pennies and i'm living with my parents. YOU have no job. What kind of business could We possbily have. " Doughboy laughs and responds " It just so happens Slish I finally found a job. " I say " Oh reeeaaaallly. Where? " Doughboy " Bedford correctional facility for women" I start laughing real hard. Doughboy" Whats so funny " I'm out of breath now I respond " You gonna fuck around and end up married" Doughboy " Why you say that? I start laughing again " Cause you like you're women DESPERATE! " Doughboy " Thats not funny Slish. Why can't you be serious for ONE minute." I stop chuckling and respond " I can be serious" Doughboy " No you can't " Me " Yes I can " Doughboy " No you can't" Me " Yes I can" Doughboy " No you THERE YOU GO AGAIN ! "

" Okay dude I'll behave. You do know that Bedford is in the boonies. How are you going to get there? Doughboy " Well I figured I would take the train, but I used all my savings to pay Corporate's mother the rent I owed. " I respond " HOLD UP!!! Corporate let YOU rent from his mother! Doughboy yells " SLISH FOCUS! I say " Okay Okay. You want to hitch a ride with me in the morning since I work in the next town over" Doughboy " Asshole if you knew what I was going to ask why did you put me through all of that! I chuckle and respond " You make it sooooooo easy. "

So every morning for the next month I picked Doughboy up, drove to my job and gave him my car so he could get to work on time. It was kinda cool. I had some company in the morning, Doughboy was getting his mack on with the Chained Heat prison population and I had a full tank of gas weekly. Then one Thursday afternoon I leave the plantation at my usual time and walk over to the area where Doughboy is supposed to meet me with my car. I get there and NOOOOO Doughboy. I give him the benefit of doubt and wait an extra 30 minutes. 1 hour later NOOOOO Doughboy. I start getting worried thinking the worst has already happened. Doughboy has probably smacked my car up and is lying in some emergency room! So I hop on the train.

I get to the Whiteplains train station and called my pops. " Slishy what happened to your car? Why are you calling me from the train station" I say in a jamaican accent " Damn Bwoy tek weh mi car. " Pops responds" Who?" I respond" I've been letting Doughboy drive my car to work for the past month, but today he didn't pick me up" Pops " Slishy what I tell you about trusting people" I respond " YeahYeahYeah can you come and get me ? "

10 minutes later my pops drives up, I get in, he pulls off. " Dad do me a favor drive by Corporates mothers house. Pops asks " What for?" I respond" I just want to see something" My dad makes a quick turn onto Corporates mothers street. As we get closer to her house I see my car parked in front. I whisper to myself " Muthafucka" My dad looks over at me " Slishy isn't that your car." I respond " Yup" Pops" You want to stop and get it" I respond " Nope" My pops looks at me puzzled, but he keeps on driving.

Pops pulls up to our driveway. I hop out the van and quickly walk into the house. I pick up the phone in the kitchen and call Corporate at work " Yo. Was your mother home today?" Corporate responds " Nah. The only person home today was my sister." I say " Quick give me the number to your house." I hang up then pick up the phone and call. His sister picks up. " KK its me Slish how long has my car been parked in front of your house. " KK responds " You mean the light blue integra" I respond " Yeah " KK " All day. Why? " MUTHAFUCKA!!!!!!! I hang up the phone and call Corporate back " My man. I Think you should call the police and tell them to go to your moms to prevent an assault. " Corporate " What happened?" I respond " Your boy took my kindness for weakness. So now I'm going to kindly bust his weak ASS! " Corporate " Slish chill don't do anything stupid. Promise me you won't go over there! As a matter of fact wait until I get home. So we can find out what really happened" I rub my head, clench my teeth and bite the bottom of my lip " Aight "

1 hour later Corporate picks me up. On the drive to his house he attempts to lighten the mood " So Doughboy played you" I look at him and respond " You think this shit is funny! I bet if it was you! All of Doughboys shit would be laying on the side walk! Corporate " Why you so angry. Its not like he smacked your car up. " I respond " Corporate its the principal! I go out of my way to make sure another Brotha stays employed and he turns around and does exactly what these Saltines been doing to us for years" Corporates says " And whats that? " I yell " HE FUCKS ME OVER!!! This is the very reason why black folk can't get ahead. You lend us money we take forever to pay it back or not at all, You find us a job we show up everyday for the first pay period then decide we need a two week vacation. I lend Doughboy my car to get to work he decides its too much work to come and get me! When are WE going to start taking responsibility for our actions! Now Doughboy has lost another soldier in this struggle we call life! " Corporate asks " What The hell does that mean? " I respond It means I will NEVER EVER do any more favors for him as long there is breath in these lungs"


We pull up in Corporates driveway. Doughboy is outside waiting for me. I get out of the car he tosses me my car keys " Slish my grandmother wasn't feeling well so I left work and drove her to the Hospital. I've been in the Emergency room all day" Now he's adding insult to injury by lying! I calmly respond " Doughboy don't say anything else. " Doughboy to dense to pick up on my fuck you vibe says" So we cool. You'll be here to get me in the morning right? I respond " Yeeeeeah I'll be here briiiiight and early"

Lesson : Never burn a bridge you haven't crossed.