A Man's Worst Nightmare written By Philly Live
Greetings Ladies and Gentlemen. I would like to introduce you to my guest writer this evening. THE ONE and ONLY PHILLY LIIIIIIIVE!!!!!! Get to typing. SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!!! see if this shit runs in the family.
Oh no, this is not happening. I can't believe this bullshit. This is what goes through most niggas heads when we experience a "Power Failure." And to be honest, every man has had at least one in there lifetime if not more. What is a "Power Failure?" A power failure is when your dick does not get hard or will not stay hard when your about to do the nasty. It is the moment of truth, but its also a man's worst nightmare. But why?
Recently, I was at a gathering and remember this topic being discussed. I didn't want to say shit, but somehow I got involved. Maybe it was that fat round ass sitting accross the table from me with the pretty brown eyes or was it the Chocolate Chip shorty who was sitting right next to Pretty Brown Eyes. I mean she was head to toe tasty. Whatever the case may be, I felt like 2PAC because all of a sudden Pretty Brown Eyes decided to shout me out. All EYES ON ME!!!!!!
I had a few drinks in me and I was definitely feeling good about myself. Next thing I knew Pretty Brown Eyes Said " Philly has this ever happened to you". I hesitate and say "Ahhhh yeah. Its happened before. But it wasn't my fault and I'm not taking the blame for that SHIT!!!!!. Pretty Brown Eyes looked perplexed and wanted me to elaborate. I knew I had her then. Her round ass would be mine TONIGHT!!! shiiiiiit if I play my cards right. Think I might slip Chocolate Chip my number too cause she giving me the googly eyes.
Anyway, I looked to my left then slowly looked too my right and began to explain that fateful night. I met this chick from North Philly. She was a hood rat with one seed which is usually common for an up North chick. Her body was ridiculous but her intelligence level was low. Translation, EASY TARGET!!! So, I bagged her. This was going to be nothing more then a cheap thrill for the kid. A few nights on the town and I was in. It was finally the moment of truth. She was looking ultra sexy on the night her panties came tumbling down. I dove in head first like a true nigga would. SPLASH!!!!! DAMN SHE WAS WET!!! This was too good to be true I knew something would go wrong. Anyway I put the sock on the pickle and proceeded with caution. I put Hood Rat in the pretzel position and WHAM!!!! HER RUGRAT COMES INTO THE ROOM!!!!. But it was too late, he saw everything. He charged towards me yelling and screaming " STOP STOP what are you doing WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY MOOOOM!!!!. I'm thinking SHIIIIIT!!! two more strokes was all I needed for the eruption of Mt St.Helen. I hopped up, dick dangle'n and a shook one. I guess all the noise woke his little ass up . It took her an hour to put him back to sleep. But by then the guilt had already set in. What if that was my kid who witnessed that shit. Kids remember everything and are very impressionable at that age. Now I got this crumbsnatcha thinking his mom is a HOE!!! We tried to pick up where we left off but my dick just wasn't in it. It would not get hard. Thus, a power failure.
Oh no, this is not happening. I can't believe this bullshit. This is what goes through most niggas heads when we experience a "Power Failure." And to be honest, every man has had at least one in there lifetime if not more. What is a "Power Failure?" A power failure is when your dick does not get hard or will not stay hard when your about to do the nasty. It is the moment of truth, but its also a man's worst nightmare. But why?
Recently, I was at a gathering and remember this topic being discussed. I didn't want to say shit, but somehow I got involved. Maybe it was that fat round ass sitting accross the table from me with the pretty brown eyes or was it the Chocolate Chip shorty who was sitting right next to Pretty Brown Eyes. I mean she was head to toe tasty. Whatever the case may be, I felt like 2PAC because all of a sudden Pretty Brown Eyes decided to shout me out. All EYES ON ME!!!!!!
I had a few drinks in me and I was definitely feeling good about myself. Next thing I knew Pretty Brown Eyes Said " Philly has this ever happened to you". I hesitate and say "Ahhhh yeah. Its happened before. But it wasn't my fault and I'm not taking the blame for that SHIT!!!!!. Pretty Brown Eyes looked perplexed and wanted me to elaborate. I knew I had her then. Her round ass would be mine TONIGHT!!! shiiiiiit if I play my cards right. Think I might slip Chocolate Chip my number too cause she giving me the googly eyes.
Anyway, I looked to my left then slowly looked too my right and began to explain that fateful night. I met this chick from North Philly. She was a hood rat with one seed which is usually common for an up North chick. Her body was ridiculous but her intelligence level was low. Translation, EASY TARGET!!! So, I bagged her. This was going to be nothing more then a cheap thrill for the kid. A few nights on the town and I was in. It was finally the moment of truth. She was looking ultra sexy on the night her panties came tumbling down. I dove in head first like a true nigga would. SPLASH!!!!! DAMN SHE WAS WET!!! This was too good to be true I knew something would go wrong. Anyway I put the sock on the pickle and proceeded with caution. I put Hood Rat in the pretzel position and WHAM!!!! HER RUGRAT COMES INTO THE ROOM!!!!. But it was too late, he saw everything. He charged towards me yelling and screaming " STOP STOP what are you doing WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY MOOOOM!!!!. I'm thinking SHIIIIIT!!! two more strokes was all I needed for the eruption of Mt St.Helen. I hopped up, dick dangle'n and a shook one. I guess all the noise woke his little ass up . It took her an hour to put him back to sleep. But by then the guilt had already set in. What if that was my kid who witnessed that shit. Kids remember everything and are very impressionable at that age. Now I got this crumbsnatcha thinking his mom is a HOE!!! We tried to pick up where we left off but my dick just wasn't in it. It would not get hard. Thus, a power failure.
posted by Mr.Slish at
12/12/2005 11:30:00 AM
6 Comments:
That's not a power failure on your part Philly, that's a damn blackout!! I don't think any sane, virile man would have gotten it up after that. Shit, I wouldn't be surprised if it took you a while to get back in the swing of things. You may be looking over your shoulder just waiting for lil one's to come jumpin out of the closet saying, "YOU AINT MY DADDY, GET OFF MY MOMMA!!!" LOL
...sock on the pickle???? what the fuck is that shit about...LMAO
Not your fault....everyone woman knows she's suppose to have a lock on the door when you have kids running around!
Who got the number, Brn I'z or Chocha chip?
Slishy....his stories are better.......st least they sound half way believe-able.......hahahaha
Welcome Philly! (or 'Fullie' as my Philly relatives call it)
Yeah, NorthPhillyGirl knew you were on your way over. She shoulda sent the child to Grandmas, suggested a hourly hotel room or invested in a doorknob lock, that's just NASTY...but Im with Anon. I also wanna know, did the story work on either one of ladies at the party?
All I gotta say is I feel ya. I so identify with that story in a major way.
Her body was ridiculous but her intelligence level was low. Translation, EASY TARGET!!!
I dove in head first like a true nigga would. SPLASH!!!!! DAMN SHE WAS WET!!!
I put Hood Rat in the pretzel position and WHAM!!!! HER RUGRAT COMES INTO THE ROOM!!!
TOOOOOOOOOO MUUUUUUUUUCH JOKES!!!!
hahaha
hopefulli i'll catch soem more philly cameos!
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