Tippin Out
Cheating is the one thing everyone fears while being in a relationship. Just the mere thought of your significant other tippin will cause you to call their cell phone company and have all their calls forwarded to your hotline. Dudes start smelling their wives/girlfriends Little Vickies after they come in from a night out on the town. Women start telling their girlfriends to make a pass at their man just to make sure he's a stand up dude. Its crazy what folks will do to get an answer to a question they really don't want. To tell the truth. I'd rather not know.
I remember back in the day I was dating this beautiful sista . One evening I dropped her off at her place after a night out. I noticed while driving away that she left her purse in my car. I calmly placed it in my glove compartment. It didn't even occur to me to look through her purse. I mean I could have but I was afraid of what I might find.
The next day she calls me. " Slish did you find my purse in your car?" I respond " Yes I did. I was going to bring it to you tonight" She snickers a little and responds " Did you read my note?" I say " What note? " She sounded a little dissapointed " The note I left for you in my purse! " I laugh a little " What made you think I would look into your purse " She says " Yeah right Nucca you looked " I say " You got the wrong dude. I don't do shit like that " Her voice gets a little high pitched " You don't! " I respond " Nope. Ignorance is bliss. "
You see I don't like looking for trouble especially in relationships. I'm not going through cell phones looking for dudes numbers to call and say "STAY AWAY FROM MY LOVE SLAVE!". Not going to use a different car to follow my lady around town. Not going to eyeball every cat my lady comes into contact with. Now in the past this kind of attitude has caused the women in my life to feel a little neglected and unloved. Sick Beatch's ALL OF EM! Why DA HELL you want a jealous lunatic for a boyfriend! Thats not love its a form of PSYCHOSIS.
So ladys if your man is blowing up the cellie while you're out with friends and you've already told him where you were going to be. Don't think that shit is cute. He probably got a straight jacket hidden in his closet! Fellas if your lady gives your female cousin the EVIL EYE. She's not expressing her love. She probably plotting to tie you up in her basement!
Jealousy is a wasted emotion people. If your significant other cheats on you. They were probably that way before you got with them. Don't go looking for ways to catch there booties up in the air.
Love is a risk we all have to take sooner or later.
I remember back in the day I was dating this beautiful sista . One evening I dropped her off at her place after a night out. I noticed while driving away that she left her purse in my car. I calmly placed it in my glove compartment. It didn't even occur to me to look through her purse. I mean I could have but I was afraid of what I might find.
The next day she calls me. " Slish did you find my purse in your car?" I respond " Yes I did. I was going to bring it to you tonight" She snickers a little and responds " Did you read my note?" I say " What note? " She sounded a little dissapointed " The note I left for you in my purse! " I laugh a little " What made you think I would look into your purse " She says " Yeah right Nucca you looked " I say " You got the wrong dude. I don't do shit like that " Her voice gets a little high pitched " You don't! " I respond " Nope. Ignorance is bliss. "
You see I don't like looking for trouble especially in relationships. I'm not going through cell phones looking for dudes numbers to call and say "STAY AWAY FROM MY LOVE SLAVE!". Not going to use a different car to follow my lady around town. Not going to eyeball every cat my lady comes into contact with. Now in the past this kind of attitude has caused the women in my life to feel a little neglected and unloved. Sick Beatch's ALL OF EM! Why DA HELL you want a jealous lunatic for a boyfriend! Thats not love its a form of PSYCHOSIS.
So ladys if your man is blowing up the cellie while you're out with friends and you've already told him where you were going to be. Don't think that shit is cute. He probably got a straight jacket hidden in his closet! Fellas if your lady gives your female cousin the EVIL EYE. She's not expressing her love. She probably plotting to tie you up in her basement!
Jealousy is a wasted emotion people. If your significant other cheats on you. They were probably that way before you got with them. Don't go looking for ways to catch there booties up in the air.
Love is a risk we all have to take sooner or later.
posted by Mr.Slish at
5/02/2007 10:00:00 PM
34 Comments:
Coooooool! I'm first!
Slish, that was a sharp transition. From little red bikes to people seeing green, what made you think of cheating?
Slish, stop hatin! The more he call while Im out with my girls means he loves me and miss me! And when I dont answer and he come to the club in his sweat socks and house shoes and beat the shit out of me it's only cuz my bitch azz deserve it!!
You see I don't like looking for trouble especially in relationships. I'm not going through cell phones looking for dudes numbers to call and say "STAY AWAY FROM MY LOVE SLAVE!". Not going to use a different car to follow my lady around town. Not going to eyeball every cat my lady comes into contact with. Now in the past this kind of attitude has caused the women in my life to feel a little neglected and unloved. Sick Beatch's ALL OF EM! Why DA HELL you want a jealous lunatic for a boyfriend! Thats not love its a form of PSYCHOSIS
Sorry to quote all of that but I agree completely! I've had friends borrow my car...screw all of that! LOL
I don't know about this Slishy.
I will sleep with whoever, whenever I want to as a single woman. Just because you are my boyfriend you don't get the benefits of being my husband. As a single woman or single man, you can only cheat on yourself and not be true to yourself. I am faithful to myself first. I have made the decision not to sleep with someone or to become emotionally connected with someone other than my boyfriend. That is a choice...it ain't cheating or not cheating.
Cheaters are married, not in relationships. Maybe I am an alien. I can show other ways of being committed.
It about choices not obligation. I just don't see cheating as the all inclusive word that doesn't fit.
Stalking is illegal. Violence is illegal and unacceptable.
Yet, none of that is the same of me wanting another lover. Sometimes I do, other times I do.
Out!
DL
That is soooo true slish - OMG!
If you are going to get cheated on then it will happen regardless of what you do and chances are if you do something to try and catch them out then they will do it anyway from being pissed off for what you did!
@ So Wise - I hope you don't mean it bout him coming to the club and beatin the shit cos he needs a slap
xXx
I am definitely taking So Wise's comment as a joke (it is right?) I was laughing my @$$ off! Great way to start my morning.
I am not a snooper or an insecure woman by nature. But if my antenna starts going up, I must admit I do need to show the man that he ain't getting away with anything. By that, I mean pull his card on whatever he is doing just to let him know he isn't as clever as he thinks he is ---moving on.
My motto is you are going to do what you are going to do. I can't control your behavior but I can control how I respond to it.
Is this post building up to something or just a thought on your mind.
@ Minerva I do that sometimes. I had a few conversations with friends the past couple of days and this topic just happened to be on my mind. No rhyme or reason behind it...:)
@ So Wise Lmaof...Ah wha the backside wrong wid yuh..lol I understand..wink
@ Consistent Screw all that is RIGHT! Life to short to be spying on folks.
@ Divine. Technically you are correct, but unfortunately the majority begs to differ. Does a brotha in a relationship with you get the same perk?
@ Snake bite So Wise doesn't mean that..lol I hope.
@ Drea Inquiring minds want to know.How do you respond. Give me an example..:)
@ Venom Figured you wouldn't have any thoughts on this topic you've never been a cheater. So you can't relate.
LOL...I'm mad she was surprised and if you had looked in her purse she would have been mad..weird. I've always been taught don't go lookin for somethin you don't want to find..I figure it will all come out in the end so why look for it.
As the resident married woman...I agree.
All the snooping in the world doesn't control someone's actions. If they are going to cheat, they will. If it's meant for you to find out....you will.
Knowledge is power. No I am not going through a man's cell or his place. I am going to do a background check and also check the offender's list for my state.
I met this guy and he acted odd. So I punched him up on the state corrections database. This MF was convicted of aggravated stalking. This other dude I found out he lied about his age and I learned other stuff. Now I could have gone through his wallet but I did not.
We are human, folks get jealous. SMH. Now how that jealousy is handled is the question.
For me ignorance is not always bliss. It is dangerous.
I find it funny how folks use the lame excuse about cheating. SMH. So the definition of cheating is if you are married and stray?
So what is it called if you make a commitment to a person and then go sleep with someone else? Does that offense not count?
I think everything in life, (obligation or not) is a matter of choice. The question is do the parties involed agree with the actions? Married or not you are still invloved in an intimate relationship so if either party decides to sleep with someone outside of the relationship without the others consent then guess what....it's cheating.
Now if you're freaky like that, then that's you and by all means get your freak on day and/or night but it's only fair to give the significant other a choice to be just as freaky as you or to move on to someone who takes the relationship a little bit more seriously :)
I don't know about this Slishy.
I will sleep with whoever, whenever I want to as a single woman. Just because you are my boyfriend you don't get the benefits of being my husband. As a single woman or single man, you can only cheat on yourself and not be true to yourself. I am faithful to myself first. I have made the decision not to sleep with someone or to become emotionally connected with someone other than my boyfriend. That is a choice...it ain't cheating or not cheating.
Cheaters are married, not in relationships. Maybe I am an alien. I can show other ways of being committed.
It about choices not obligation. I just don't see cheating as the all inclusive word that doesn't fit.
Stalking is illegal. Violence is illegal and unacceptable.
Yet, none of that is the same of me wanting another lover. Sometimes I do, other times I do.
Out!
DL
: to be sexually unfaithful
when you commit to someone and then sleep with someone else...didn't you hear??? that's not cheating that's called "being faithful to yourself first" NOT!
"Love is a risk we all have to take sooner or later."
I like that. Yeah, I'm not one to ask questions I don't want to know the answer to (or that I don't want to answer myself). And I don't go looking for trouble. If it finds me, it finds me, and I'll deal with it then. But prayerfully, I'll be well hidden.
B. Good, I agree trouble will find ya. I do believe that the times my instinct said to check on a potential date, it saved me. I have ignored my instincts. Now I listen.
I'm so feeling this post and i thank you for putting it out there as it needed to be said. if you're that damn jealous and/or insecure, then you shouldn't be in a relationship in the first damn place.
^5 for raising some consciousness.
All this coming from a Jamaican...I'm impressed LOL!!!
@ Honey She left the purse in my car purposely! lol Its a Wonder why that relationship didn't work out.
@ 1969 True indeed yuh no how di yardman dem stay already..lol
@ Shai..by all means you should follow your instincts. Question what was the odd behavior that prompted you to check out ole boy..I'm just curious
@ Anon #1 I agree but some folks don't live by that rule...Divine just happens to be one of those folks...lol
@ Anon # 2 Ummmm I can SMELL the Sarcasm!..lol
@ B.Good You can have that one liner..:)
@ Blu jewel Thats how I look at things if you're insecure with yourself can't be secure in a relationship...
@ Royce..Umm what is that supposed to mean?...:)
I can not be chasing down a man, running after your ass to find out what you are doing. That mess is for the birds. Without trust you have nothing. Plus, I figure if a dude is going to cheat there is nothing I can do stop them. And vice versa.
Lol @ so wise.
Slish, he wanted to meet at a park and talk. This after our first exchanging numbers. He was calling from a payphone. He sounded anxious, yet played if off like he was being considerate by meeting in a "neutral" public place.
He said he hated talking on the phone. He was just acting strange. You know how your gut says something is not right. My friend thought I was being melodramatic and hard cause I have my guards up. Well,I am glad I listened to my gut even if I sounded crazy.
I am so glad he did not have my home phone# or my addy. I check on him recently and I got arrested for domestic violence in the offender registry. SMH. I am glad after 2 times on the phone, I told him let's not waste time we were not compatible.
Having been stalked, assaulted by a stalker, had someone try to break into the same room I was sleeping in...(that's allot of nerve) and almost shot my landlord's head off when I finally purchased a gun to protect myself any and all types of crazy can pass me by.
I have cheated and been cheated on, but nothing says creep quite like someone in your bushes!
Slish; Allow my partner (man or woman) always has the freedom of choice. I am not control of anybody than myself, including my partner. I disagree. Since there are so many people "cheat", I think deep down the majority agrees and acts accordingly.
My three cents.
and i say risk away. people who go looking are usually doing it themselves. i can't be with a jealous person. don't trust me? leave. if i don't want to be with you, trust me, you'll know.
I'm with 1969 on this. People who choose to cheat, will cheat. Snooping may hip you to the facts, but more often than not, you won't know unless your partner gets sloppy. My cousin has had a passing thought or two about her husband, but she refuses to snoop. She says, "I prefer not to know and stay blissfully unaware"
Doesn't the saying go - "Ignorance is bliss"
?!?!
xXx
p.s. glad so wise didn't mean that!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Yes, a joke mi a mek. :)
Being mommy to three, but only one of me, I see that emotion evoked more often than not. A bit of jealousy is healthy IMO. Maybe I need to clarify healthy forms that I have been known to exhibit.
Thinking...
Heck, I-on-know none right now.
Maybe it's true, Slish. Jealousy in adults is so quarter-of-a-century ago. I don't like that character trait either.
Forget I was even here. I'm on some other shyt mentally these days.
How do I respond to it? Well I can tell you what I don't do. I don't scream and yell and make threats. My response depends on what I know. For example: My significant other may say to me that he thinks that it would be common courtesy to let him know where I am gonna be at a given time. And I may respond by saying oh like when you called me to tell me you were stopping over such and such's house? And I say nothing more but he is wondering how in the hell I know. Somebody slipped up and I know. The action isn't a big deal but the attempt at trying to conceal it is, especially if it wasn't anything going on?????
if you are looking for evidence of cheating you already suspect it. Why do you need to confirm it? If you suspect it and you have that uneasy feeling. walk away. 9 times out of ten the ones looking for it are the very ones who do nothing about it once its confirmed. And I totally agree, jealousy is a wasted emotion.
I'm always late. But, I gotta say, I agree with you. Besides, what they do will come to light in its own time.
wow! love your blog already!
LET THE CHURCH SAY AMEN... PREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEACH!!!!
If I have to look for trouble.. I'm looking for a way out.. See ya!
You know what gets me? People that stalk/invade other people's privacy, and then don't do anything about it. So you got into his cell phone and found out about 'her' and you're staying? Well, what was it all for?
It's a waste of time.
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