I want this
You have a choice in life. If your love life sucks you can RIDE OR DIE!, Your job causing you to have panic attacks. RIDE OR DIE! For the ladies. Your New Stud Muffin is packin a little more than you expected RIDE IT OR DIE TRYIN! Thats how life is. You take the good with the bad. Most times the bad out weighs the good yet we still RIDE.
Royce asked me to give you guys a twisted version of what I want from a woman. So i've taken her list and and gave it a Slish/Slash spin. Now Slasher is wiiiide awake! . So who knows whats going to come out. Here goes
I want a Woman who
Is Physically Available-I want those ass cheeks to spread wiiide wiiide wiiide. When I walk through that door I want that ASS UP! Head down!
Is not always Emotionally Available- That can be too much for a brotha. Thats what your girlfriends are for. All that crying and whining will drive me to a Bottle of Patron!
Is Ready for a Loving Relationship and not afraid to admit it- Thats right don't introduce me to your girls and family as your " Friend" if we've been holding hands, planning trips and swapping bodily fluids for the past 6 months!
Thinks I am Sexy beast. If we're watching the tele and Morris Chestnut graces the screen. I want you to look at him then look at me and say " I'm soooo Damn Lucky"
Is Honest some of the time- Somethings you can keep to yourself. I don't need to know where you learned that trick that made my nuts SIIIIING!!! The night before
Has a strong connection to family and respects and knows their father. Its hard to build a loving relationship with a woman who does not. Believe me I knooow. I have the scars to prove it.
Is Creative-I need that in my life. Probably one of the reasons why I love Shawnla. She speaks French, writes poetry, creates beats, sings and isn't afraid of DANGER!
Is Intelligent- I'm not the brightest lamp post on the block. I rarely stay on top of current events. I need someone to make me look good in public.
Is Ambitious- I procrastinate a looooot. I need a push every now and again. If she's anything like me we'd never get anywhere.
Can Hold a Conversation- This is automatic if someone is dating me. Anyone who really knows me. Knows I talk Non Stop! So if you want to get a word in you need this specific quality.
Has a Good Sense of Humor-I have warped sense of humor. I will make a joke out of anything. Dont let me see yo mama with toothpaste around her lips.
Is interested in entertainment media -I am obsessed with Hollywood. I have all kinds of useless info in my brain. So if I turn to you and say " Will Smith and Jada Pinkett are the new Ruby dee and Ossie Davis" don't respond " Babe I don't know what you mean"
Is Stylish- I love a woman who can dress. Nothing like some tight true religion jeans and a meeean pair of Stilettos.
Isn’t skinny- sing along now " I LIKE BIG BUTTS I CANNOT LIE!" Shawnla is BOOOTYLICIOUS! Tell you the truth i'm typing this with my left hand and holding on to her booty with my right.
Has a decent job -I've already posted about this one.
Has a bank account, saving account, cds, mutual funds. Shit I ain't trying to work FOREVER!
Has health insurance-I never thought about this until I dated someone who didn't have any. Lets just say sonograms cost 250.00 a POP!!!
Knows how to drive- This can be useful. Especially If we need to be in two different places at the same time. My lady should be able to drop me off and take my whip to her destination.
Is Romantic and Affectionate- I like both my heads rubbed. Nothing like sitting between a womans legs while she caresses my Milk Dud head. Bubble baths, Scented candles, Full Body Massage with scented oils. My hands and feet manicured. I Love all that shit!
Is Considerate and Thoughtful-Very important quality. Shawnla called me today and asked if we had anything planned for the weekend before making a decision to baby sit her brothers kids. I know it seemed like a simple gesture but it meant a lot to me. She knows I don't like being around loud ass kids all day!
Is Loyal-Hateration is a muthafucka. People will do and say anything to mess up a good thing.
Is Patient and knows how to give me space- I am not the easiest person to get along with. I have terrible mood swings. Sometimes i'm damn near psychotic. The best thing to do is give me space or else you might get cut verbally.
Isn’t afraid to tell me when I am wrong- Yeah I to can be an Egomaniac no it all. A good slap in the back of the head and an occasionally be quiet( NOT SHUT UP) usually calms this beast.
Is Capable of telling me NO! I hate that word, but sometimes I need to hear it.
Is feminine- I like girly girls. Not chicks who wear slacks and jeans seven days a week. I like a nice sundress from time to time.
Is Protective of me- Thats right don't let your girls bad talk me even when i'm an asshole. Only you have that privilege.
Is in shape. You don't have to be a gym rat, but at least keep yourself from looking sloppy. If your stomach is hanging over your jeans " HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM"
Knows how to let her man Lead and is able to lead me in the right direction if I should lose my way.
Is Social- I am a social Icon. When I go to a social gatherings everyone wants my undivided attention. So if you are unable to play Batgirl to my Batman. Then you're going to feel cold and alone!
Likes to Smell Good-Nothing like a sweet smelling woman. Makes DANGER wish he had a nose.
Has nice Hands and Feet-Pedicure and manicure is a must! If you don't I will pay someone that will. I've done it in the past.
Is Neat-I have some nerve with this one cause I am one junky bastard. If she's a slob like me. No telling what our crib will look like on the inside.
Is Helpful - Slish is not a one man show. I can't do everything.
Isn’t too Sensitive-Like I said before I have a straaaaange sense of humor
Last but not least a Woman Who knows how to be QUIET when i'm watching my favorite television show! Don't tell me about your day when Peter Petrelli has just saved the cheerleader therefore saving the world!
Royce asked me to give you guys a twisted version of what I want from a woman. So i've taken her list and and gave it a Slish/Slash spin. Now Slasher is wiiiide awake! . So who knows whats going to come out. Here goes
I want a Woman who
Is Physically Available-I want those ass cheeks to spread wiiide wiiide wiiide. When I walk through that door I want that ASS UP! Head down!
Is not always Emotionally Available- That can be too much for a brotha. Thats what your girlfriends are for. All that crying and whining will drive me to a Bottle of Patron!
Is Ready for a Loving Relationship and not afraid to admit it- Thats right don't introduce me to your girls and family as your " Friend" if we've been holding hands, planning trips and swapping bodily fluids for the past 6 months!
Thinks I am Sexy beast. If we're watching the tele and Morris Chestnut graces the screen. I want you to look at him then look at me and say " I'm soooo Damn Lucky"
Is Honest some of the time- Somethings you can keep to yourself. I don't need to know where you learned that trick that made my nuts SIIIIING!!! The night before
Has a strong connection to family and respects and knows their father. Its hard to build a loving relationship with a woman who does not. Believe me I knooow. I have the scars to prove it.
Is Creative-I need that in my life. Probably one of the reasons why I love Shawnla. She speaks French, writes poetry, creates beats, sings and isn't afraid of DANGER!
Is Intelligent- I'm not the brightest lamp post on the block. I rarely stay on top of current events. I need someone to make me look good in public.
Is Ambitious- I procrastinate a looooot. I need a push every now and again. If she's anything like me we'd never get anywhere.
Can Hold a Conversation- This is automatic if someone is dating me. Anyone who really knows me. Knows I talk Non Stop! So if you want to get a word in you need this specific quality.
Has a Good Sense of Humor-I have warped sense of humor. I will make a joke out of anything. Dont let me see yo mama with toothpaste around her lips.
Is interested in entertainment media -I am obsessed with Hollywood. I have all kinds of useless info in my brain. So if I turn to you and say " Will Smith and Jada Pinkett are the new Ruby dee and Ossie Davis" don't respond " Babe I don't know what you mean"
Is Stylish- I love a woman who can dress. Nothing like some tight true religion jeans and a meeean pair of Stilettos.
Isn’t skinny- sing along now " I LIKE BIG BUTTS I CANNOT LIE!" Shawnla is BOOOTYLICIOUS! Tell you the truth i'm typing this with my left hand and holding on to her booty with my right.
Has a decent job -I've already posted about this one.
Has a bank account, saving account, cds, mutual funds. Shit I ain't trying to work FOREVER!
Has health insurance-I never thought about this until I dated someone who didn't have any. Lets just say sonograms cost 250.00 a POP!!!
Knows how to drive- This can be useful. Especially If we need to be in two different places at the same time. My lady should be able to drop me off and take my whip to her destination.
Is Romantic and Affectionate- I like both my heads rubbed. Nothing like sitting between a womans legs while she caresses my Milk Dud head. Bubble baths, Scented candles, Full Body Massage with scented oils. My hands and feet manicured. I Love all that shit!
Is Considerate and Thoughtful-Very important quality. Shawnla called me today and asked if we had anything planned for the weekend before making a decision to baby sit her brothers kids. I know it seemed like a simple gesture but it meant a lot to me. She knows I don't like being around loud ass kids all day!
Is Loyal-Hateration is a muthafucka. People will do and say anything to mess up a good thing.
Is Patient and knows how to give me space- I am not the easiest person to get along with. I have terrible mood swings. Sometimes i'm damn near psychotic. The best thing to do is give me space or else you might get cut verbally.
Isn’t afraid to tell me when I am wrong- Yeah I to can be an Egomaniac no it all. A good slap in the back of the head and an occasionally be quiet( NOT SHUT UP) usually calms this beast.
Is Capable of telling me NO! I hate that word, but sometimes I need to hear it.
Is feminine- I like girly girls. Not chicks who wear slacks and jeans seven days a week. I like a nice sundress from time to time.
Is Protective of me- Thats right don't let your girls bad talk me even when i'm an asshole. Only you have that privilege.
Is in shape. You don't have to be a gym rat, but at least keep yourself from looking sloppy. If your stomach is hanging over your jeans " HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM"
Knows how to let her man Lead and is able to lead me in the right direction if I should lose my way.
Is Social- I am a social Icon. When I go to a social gatherings everyone wants my undivided attention. So if you are unable to play Batgirl to my Batman. Then you're going to feel cold and alone!
Likes to Smell Good-Nothing like a sweet smelling woman. Makes DANGER wish he had a nose.
Has nice Hands and Feet-Pedicure and manicure is a must! If you don't I will pay someone that will. I've done it in the past.
Is Neat-I have some nerve with this one cause I am one junky bastard. If she's a slob like me. No telling what our crib will look like on the inside.
Is Helpful - Slish is not a one man show. I can't do everything.
Isn’t too Sensitive-Like I said before I have a straaaaange sense of humor
Last but not least a Woman Who knows how to be QUIET when i'm watching my favorite television show! Don't tell me about your day when Peter Petrelli has just saved the cheerleader therefore saving the world!
posted by Mr.Slish at
6/14/2007 10:53:00 PM
26 Comments:
Has a strong connection to family and respects and knows their father. Its hard to build a loving relationship with a woman who does not. Believe me I knooow. I have the scars to prove it.
You are speaking the truth. I apologize in advance to sistahs to no fault of their own don't have a good to excellent relationship with their father....Are good mates to a black man. How do you know how to relate, love, respect, support, challenge, etc, if you never learned how to do that with your own father. Then, most women whom are fatherless, want their men to be their father. Your man ain't your father. Go to counseling...get over it. You are wounded, heal yourself and its ain't your man's duty to do it.
*climbing off my soapbox*
I love your list. Slish, get out of the Super Save A Woman role, it ain't healthy for you or her. You deserve a partner a real partner. You deserve an equal not a woman building project.
*Hey where you at at my spot?*
Aww Slishy....you could have told me you have a crush on ME! ;)
Slish, it's like I need to sit on the couch for a minute!
A healthy relationship w/ your father is crucial! My father is not so verbally communicative. So I had to LEARN how to communicate with a man, outside of just throwing that thang on 'im. You know!
Sooooo mad at Danger! At first I thought you meant she was a daredevil! LMAO. Anyway, I'm sure he's content at being Cyclops, so he doesn't need a nose! Though that might tickle just right! LOL
Your list is tight. Not at all unachievable! It's actually a list I would hold a man to.
LMAOOOOOO at that last sentence!!!
This is actually a pretty sound and fair list. Of course with a little Slasher ego thrown in, but what can you do? LOL
Do you kow I've actually bungee jumped twice in my lifetime? Do you also know that each of my last two pregnancies I found out AFTER we had been to major theme parks? Do you know that I am a recovering "self-help" addict and have read and sought professional help for the fatherless void. Do you know I am supercalifragilisticexpealidocious-woman-wife-mother?
I can cosign to many of those qualities. So there.
~wink~
Professed "gym rat"
I liked the whole list. I have a question on one item though:
"Is Ready for a Loving Relationship and not afraid to admit it- Thats right don't introduce me to your girls and family as your " Friend" if we've been holding hands, planning trips and swapping bodily fluids for the past 6 months!"
So......what are you?
Now, I get what you mean. I feel the same way. But if you two haven't discussed exactly what you guys are doing, then......how should she introduce you?
I'm back just waiting for conversation to ensue. I second what B.Good questions. And, err, if Shanwla is all of those things, my bruh, what are y'all waiting on. You know, so she can introduce you "correctly?" =)
@ Divine Man I've had major battles with women.Who suffered from The No daddy syndrome. They can be some cold heartless creatures...Brrrrr
@ So Wise I tried to tell ya. But then you moved away...:)
@ Ms Lee A list should always be achievable. No one is perfect. We all need room to grow.
@ La THATS RIGHT!!! Don't bug me when I'm watching the tele. You might get a verbal lashing. I'm glad you think the list is fair..I wasn't sure what the comments were going to be like...lol
@ Pro So what you saying If there was No Mr pro you could be Mrs Slish...lol
@ B.Good I'm your MAN, Significant other, Your Future...:) Saying I'm just a friend is like a slap..Like what we share isn't special.
@ Pro HUSH WOMAN!!! Nothing happens before its time...:)
The list is tight.....except for that Morris Chestnut thing.....STOP PLAYING. LMAO.
Seriously, all of this is real and I agree with the Slasher. (I never thought I'd be saying that). *SMH*
"Your New Stud Muffin is packin a little more than you expected RIDE IT OR DIE TRYIN! Thats how life is."
LMAO!
I love the Ride it or Die Tryin! You should start a movement with t-shirts and what not!
I love the whole post you are speaking the truth and not making hard requests!
STANDING OVATION TO MY BROTHER SLISH!!
fabulous list and I can't agree with you more on some of them!!!
by any chance do you know him cause damn if ya'll ain't got the same list LMAO
and Shawnla must be my sista from another motha LOL
Well Well Well...so what do you know! I've been out of the office and didnt check email until now...WOW, where do I begin!
First, I am proud of your list...as much as I get on you, I only do it cause I know that your one of the good ones and I want you to be happy 100% and completely. This list just further proves to me how special of a dude you are (and I mean special as in great and special as in cwaazy LOL!!)
I like the twists you put on alot of these cause it really demonstrates just how different men and women are. We want emotionally available while you guys want minimal emotion LOL!! We (women) need to know and remember that...it's hard but we gotta have balance cause just like we want our needs met so do the men in our lives. Which is why I wanna some feedback from the fellas.
I wish more men would do a list and not be afraid to talk about it with their women or perspectives...hell I think if we knew (generally) what the people in our lives needed we'd do a better job of making it happen or being honest about our inability to do so. Of course this list is just a baseline, a starting point if you will and all of these things to some extent will require some compromise...none will ever be 100% there!
Kudos to you for doing the list, now ask yourself 1) do you compliment the items on the list and 2) how much of the list is are you willing to compromise on WITHOUT Compromising who you are?!?!?!
Luv ya Big Bro!
Roycee...
Good list!
I guess i will shut up when the Chairman is watching TV
*rolling my eyes*
I can't find fault with anything on your list!
@ 1969 Its only tight cause Royce laid down the foundation. I realized something too. Men and woman want the same things just in different ways...:) Btw The Slasher is crazy not stupid.o its okay to agree with him from time to time.
@ Consistent Thats what I've been trying to you ladies.Men don't want much. We like the simple things in life. As for Ride Or Die tryin...I think I was listening to the Best of DMX!!! lol..We should start a movement..lmaof
@ Bklyn Diva. "Taking a bow" I really didn't expect these positive responses.. HEY you make beats too or wriite poetry ooor are you BOOTYLICIOUS!..lol
@ Royce. DO YOU KNOW! It took me 2 hours to complete this list!.Shawnla just looking at me
" You finished yet" while flashing her Ta's Ta's in my face...lol Anyway thanks for the props couldn't have done this list without you...:)
@ Sandy You're a chatter box when the hubby is watching the tele..huh..lol You get a pass as long as you promise to do better...:)
@ One from Philly...Thats big right there! Cause I know you went through it with a fine tooth comb. Wow..Lemme go and pat myself on the back....I told ya'll I was reasonable...lol
LOL...Sounds SIMPLE ENOUGH....
Of course, I'm not the woman who has to fulfill it but I'm saying....it's definitely doable.
lmao @ Is Honest some of the time- Somethings you can keep to yourself. I don't need to know where you learned that trick that made my nuts SIIIIING!!! The night before
too many broads don't get that.
and honest the last one "save the cheerleader, save the worle" i have too many friends that don't understand me don't call me when mayweather is whooping de la hoya, when the spurs are wiping the floor with the cavs and do not call me when i am watching dog the bounty hunter! lol i guarantee you i will have no recollection of the conversation and will not be held responsible for any bad advice i may hand out.
All I got to say is dang LOL..sike nah. I def need someone who can deal with the fact that I talk alot and they need to be quiet during Law & Order or I will cut ya LOL
i was gonna make a wise crack at your list but I'm gonna be cool and tell you in all honesty that's real cool man. it's nice to know that men will even take two hours out of their lives, not just to make a list but to make the list public...
i have a feeling you be getting a little bit more action from the ladies over here now that you've layed it out:-)
I married a man who told me this from day one! everynow and then I slip though :)
Is not always Emotionally Available- That can be too much for a brotha. Thats what your girlfriends are for. All that crying and whining will drive me to a Bottle of Patron!
p.s. i loved this post! you are sooooooooo funny and honest.
sounds like if Shawnla wasn't in your life, you'd want me *lol*
loved your breakdown
i think the most important things on your list are: 1. having a healthy relationship with one's father and 2. having a strong connection to family..
I really believe that drive, ambition, respect, loyalty, and all of that other good stuff come from the type of example you've grown up with..
a lot of people's baggage stems from their childhood and youth..
I have yet to meet a black man who knows/ has a healthy relationship with his father.. shit or mother.. lol
good list Slish. not unreasonable in the least.
damn. i had to have a little more patience than i'm used to displaying just to finish that list of yours. lol
it's a good list though. good to know there is no possibility in hell you'd be attracted to me and vice versa. we can go straight to being friends.
I'll add this to the manual
in other words you want your woman to be everything you're not and more? so, you're sloppy..so she's got to keep shit clean? you're not that ambitious, so she's got to be driven? her nails have to be perfectly manicured--how are your rough nails lookin? she has to wear uncomfortably tight jeans and high heels? she can't have a belly hanging over her jeans but she better have an ass? come on, mr. slish/slash--are you for real? what exactly are you 'packin' that you can ask or all this in a woman? what kind of fantasy-life do you have to offer us beautiful women of the world? what makes you so damn special? :) huh, boy? what?
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