You have a choice in life. If your love life sucks you can RIDE OR DIE!, Your job causing you to have panic attacks. RIDE OR DIE! For the ladies. Your New Stud Muffin is packin a little more than you expected RIDE IT OR DIE TRYIN! Thats how life is. You take the good with the bad. Most times the bad out weighs the good yet we still RIDE.
Royce asked me to give you guys a twisted version of what I want from a woman. So i've taken her list and and gave it a Slish/Slash spin. Now Slasher is wiiiide awake! . So who knows whats going to come out. Here goes
I want a Woman who
Is Physically Available-I want those ass cheeks to spread wiiide wiiide wiiide. When I walk through that door I want that ASS UP! Head down!
Is not always Emotionally Available- That can be too much for a brotha. Thats what your girlfriends are for. All that crying and whining will drive me to a Bottle of Patron!
Is Ready for a Loving Relationship and not afraid to admit it- Thats right don't introduce me to your girls and family as your " Friend" if we've been holding hands, planning trips and swapping bodily fluids for the past 6 months!
Thinks I am Sexy beast. If we're watching the tele and Morris Chestnut graces the screen. I want you to look at him then look at me and say " I'm soooo Damn Lucky"
Is Honest some of the time- Somethings you can keep to yourself. I don't need to know where you learned that trick that made my nuts SIIIIING!!! The night before
Has a strong connection to family and respects and knows their father. Its hard to build a loving relationship with a woman who does not. Believe me I knooow. I have the scars to prove it.
Is Creative-I need that in my life. Probably one of the reasons why I love Shawnla. She speaks French, writes poetry, creates beats, sings and isn't afraid of DANGER!
Is Intelligent- I'm not the brightest lamp post on the block. I rarely stay on top of current events. I need someone to make me look good in public.
Is Ambitious- I procrastinate a looooot. I need a push every now and again. If she's anything like me we'd never get anywhere.
Can Hold a Conversation- This is automatic if someone is dating me. Anyone who really knows me. Knows I talk Non Stop! So if you want to get a word in you need this specific quality.
Has a Good Sense of Humor-I have warped sense of humor. I will make a joke out of anything. Dont let me see yo mama with toothpaste around her lips.
Is interested in entertainment media -I am obsessed with Hollywood. I have all kinds of useless info in my brain. So if I turn to you and say " Will Smith and Jada Pinkett are the new Ruby dee and Ossie Davis" don't respond " Babe I don't know what you mean"
Is Stylish- I love a woman who can dress. Nothing like some tight true religion jeans and a meeean pair of Stilettos.
Isn’t skinny- sing along now " I LIKE BIG BUTTS I CANNOT LIE!" Shawnla is BOOOTYLICIOUS! Tell you the truth i'm typing this with my left hand and holding on to her booty with my right.
Has a decent job -I've already posted about this one.
Has a bank account, saving account, cds, mutual funds. Shit I ain't trying to work FOREVER!
Has health insurance-I never thought about this until I dated someone who didn't have any. Lets just say sonograms cost 250.00 a POP!!!
Knows how to drive- This can be useful. Especially If we need to be in two different places at the same time. My lady should be able to drop me off and take my whip to her destination.
Is Romantic and Affectionate- I like both my heads rubbed. Nothing like sitting between a womans legs while she caresses my Milk Dud head. Bubble baths, Scented candles, Full Body Massage with scented oils. My hands and feet manicured. I Love all that shit!
Is Considerate and Thoughtful-Very important quality. Shawnla called me today and asked if we had anything planned for the weekend before making a decision to baby sit her brothers kids. I know it seemed like a simple gesture but it meant a lot to me. She knows I don't like being around loud ass kids all day!
Is Loyal-Hateration is a muthafucka. People will do and say anything to mess up a good thing.
Is Patient and knows how to give me space- I am not the easiest person to get along with. I have terrible mood swings. Sometimes i'm damn near psychotic. The best thing to do is give me space or else you might get cut verbally.
Isn’t afraid to tell me when I am wrong- Yeah I to can be an Egomaniac no it all. A good slap in the back of the head and an occasionally be quiet( NOT SHUT UP) usually calms this beast.
Is Capable of telling me NO! I hate that word, but sometimes I need to hear it.
Is feminine- I like girly girls. Not chicks who wear slacks and jeans seven days a week. I like a nice sundress from time to time.
Is Protective of me- Thats right don't let your girls bad talk me even when i'm an asshole. Only you have that privilege.
Is in shape. You don't have to be a gym rat, but at least keep yourself from looking sloppy. If your stomach is hanging over your jeans " HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM"
Knows how to let her man Lead and is able to lead me in the right direction if I should lose my way.
Is Social- I am a social Icon. When I go to a social gatherings everyone wants my undivided attention. So if you are unable to play Batgirl to my Batman. Then you're going to feel cold and alone!
Likes to Smell Good-Nothing like a sweet smelling woman. Makes DANGER wish he had a nose.
Has nice Hands and Feet-Pedicure and manicure is a must! If you don't I will pay someone that will. I've done it in the past.
Is Neat-I have some nerve with this one cause I am one junky bastard. If she's a slob like me. No telling what our crib will look like on the inside.
Is Helpful - Slish is not a one man show. I can't do everything.
Isn’t too Sensitive-Like I said before I have a straaaaange sense of humor
Last but not least a Woman Who knows how to be QUIET when i'm watching my favorite television show! Don't tell me about your day when Peter Petrelli has just saved the cheerleader therefore saving the world!