Rise of The Slasher Part 3

One month later on a Saturday afternoon. The sunlight is shining through my bay window. I refuse to let it wake me from my slumber so I turn over and put the pillow over my head. "Riiiiing" huuge sigh. I lift the pillow up and look at the phone. It rings two more times before I decide to answer it " Hello " A female voice answers " Can I speak with Slish" I respond " This is Slish " Female voice giggles and seductively says " Hiiiiigh" Her voice was not familiar to me, but I wasn't going to assume and spit names unless a few questions were asked " Who dis?" Female voice " Guess " Ooohh noooo! I say the wrong name and thats my ass! I respond " Give me a hint" Female voice responds " Lets just say you're my hero" That tingly feeling comes over me. The voice in my head says " Its her Slish. I told you this wasn't over" I respond to the voice " Can't be her. I never gave her my number!" Voice " Didn't I tell you if you grabbed the girl she would cum"

Female voice on the phone " Slish Sliiiiiiish you still there?" I realize who it is and deepen my voice " Heeey how you been T Bone" T Bone starts laughing" You didn't realize it was me did you" I laugh a little " Nah Nah I recognized your voice " T Bone " No you didn't " I laugh a little harder " Aiight Aiight you got me. I didn't know it was you. Ummmm Howdidyougetmynumber" T Bone responds " Gorilla G " I think to myself " guess she wasn't a HATER after all and respond " Really? So whats up. " T Bone giggles " Weeeeell I've been meaning to call you for a while, but you know with school and all it was kind of hard. Then I started to think about you and I dancing together and how sexy you were." WHOA !!! Shejustcallmesexy! I'm only nineteen and chicks is already calling me SEXY! Think i'm in love. I respond " I had a good dance partner" T Bone says with a hint of shyness" Slish can we see each other again " I'm on cloud nine now. I wasn't used to a girl telling me the things T Bone was. Before that moment I was always the hunter. I calmly respond " When and where?" T Bone responds " Tonight. Pick me up at my house"


HELL YESSSS!!!! I took my hands off my nutsac, jumped out of my bed with the Quickness, ran to my boy Clippersman's house and begged him for a haircut. By 9 pm I was in front of T Bone's house.

I get out of my car, walk to her door and ring the bell. It was a month since I had seen T Bone I wasn't quite sure what she looked like so when this fatter shorter version answered the door, looked me up and down , turned around and yelled " T Bone He's HEEEEEERE! " I sighed in relief.


T Bone comes out shortly after. Wearing a black top with tightly fitted white Slacks. Her hair was neatly pressed. She was prettier than I remembered. So pretty that I started thinking to myself" She is way too pretty for me. Something got to be wrong with her!" She gives me a hug, grabs my hand and says " Lets go " I say " Where? " T bone sighs " Anywhere but here" I give her the puzzled look and point to my car " Okay lets go"

An hour later T Bone has me driving all over Mt.Vernon looking for a dark place for us to talk. I find one and allow her to tell me her story. She told me some horrible things about her home life. Things most guys my age wouldn't have been able to listen to without judging. I decided then that T Bone was an Angel that was accidentally stuck in hell and I was going to fight every demon trying to get her out.

Rise of The Slasher

We're knee deep in the party. White Chocolate and I have two rumpshakers in front of us. Dj was KILLIN IT!! First he drops " You've been playing saying you want more. The sound is Hype and we're sure " Then " It takes two to make a thing go riiiiiight " That song was our cue. White Chocolate and I break into our two man routine and STOP traffic! Since the crowd couldn't beat us they joined in. It was CRAZY!

All of a sudden I hear that infamous Go-Go drum beat, the horns , then that southern drawl " Eeee yeeeheyeeeh Oooooow Eeee yeeeeheyeeeeheyeeeeh" Shawties asses dropped to the floor! White Chocolate and I positioned ourselves accordingly. I wipe the sweat from my right eyebrow and look across the dancefloor for some booty to wrangle. A few feet away from me is T bone. She putting in WORK on some cat. He becomes overwhelmed by her onslaught and calls in back up. Which still wasn't enough cause T bone could hold her own. Instead of quitting while they were behind knuckleheads decided to call in more back up. Before T Bone knew it she was surrounded by four dudes. Then I hear this whisper " Go get her " WTF! Then I hear it again " Go get her" I respond to the voice " Theres to many and my boy White Chocolate is not gifted with his hands" Voice " Trust me Slish. Grab the girl and she will Cum"

I start walking towards the crowd of guys surrounding T Bone. I push my way through, look directly into T bones eyes, grab her hand and pull her closer to me. She gives me the warmest smile then whispers in my ear "Thank You". We immediately started to move as one on the dance floor totally oblivious to our surroundings. Then I feel this presence behind me. I turn around to look AWWWW HEELLLL Gorilla G shaking her ass all in my comfort zone! She notices that i'm frozen in disgust so she retaliates by grabbing T Bone away from me. Pulling her all the way to the other side of the dance floor.

2 am Lights are on and the Party is over. White Chocolate in the corner politrickin. I'm looking around for T Bone. She was no where to be found. White Chocolate walks over to me " Man was this a good night! I got like 4 numbers. How many did you get?" I respond by giving him the HATER look . White Chocolate says " None huh" I laugh and say " Cmon "

We're at my car. Before I get in I do a visual sweep of the parking lot looking for my prize. YES! There she is! I say " White Chocolate stay here and DON'T mess with my radio! " I start walking in T Bones direction. POW POW!!! I know that sound! I duck down immediately! Screams and Chaos are everywhere. I get up after hearing the last gunshot and run back to my car. I get in. My system is blasting and White Chocolate is totally unaware of whats going on . I say " Didn't I tell you not to touch my RADIO!" I turn my car on, shift into reverse and get the hell out of Dodge.

As I'm driving away I hear that voice " Trust me Slish. This is not over . "

Slasher-The Origin Part 1

The Slasher persona was a dormant part of my personality for many years. I mean when I was a kid I would hear a voice telling me to slap the spit out of my sister everytime she said something slick. Every now and again when I drove my moms car I turned the radio volume up reeeeaal loud before I returned it, but I never thought it was him prompting me to do those terrible things. Then I started dating. OH how he tried to break free from me then!

1988 New Jack swing ! My boy White Chocolate and I used to crash The Friday night Doin The Butt parties hosted at Iona College. Spandex and BIKER shorts were the only costumes allowed. A dream come true for two horny undersexed teenagers. We looked forward to that event weekly. White Chocolate especially since he was still in High School at the time.

As were walking through the College I hear a females voice " Sliiiiiiish Sliiiiiiish" I turn, squint my eyes to look OH HELL NO!!!! I say to White Chocolate " Pick up the pace!" White Chocolate " Uh uh I'm enjoying the scenery waaay too much to do that" I say " CMON!!! She'll catch up to us! Move! You Al B Sure wannabee! " White Chocolate " Whatever dude" and continues to gawk at the spandex clad women walking by. I feel a tap on my right shoulder DAMN!!! I look up at White Chocolate and think to myself I am soooo bringing you home past your curfew.

I turn my frown into a smile and face the beast that beckoned me. " Hi Gorilla G " Gorilla G " Hey Slish! I haven't seen you since that fight you had with Fondu. Then 3 months a later I saw a moving van in front of your house" I respond " After I kicked Fondu's ass. My father was afraid of retaliation. So he moved our family to Westchester County before I got rubbed out." Gorilla G starts to look at me like I'm a ripe banana. Then I notice out of the corner of my eye a silhouette of beauty walking towards us " Gorilla G ! The music is bumpin! Lets hurry up and go inside!" She was wearing black spandex with a loosely fitting T shirt. Her Skin was a smooth caramel color. Her hair was in a pony tail and it shined liked onyx! We make eye contact ! Gorilla G " Slish let me introduce you to my girlfriend T Bone " Danger started to press against my Biker shorts . I calmly place my left hand over that area and shake T Bones hand with my right " Nice to meet you" Gorilla G noticed my infatuation and says " Cmon T Bone lets go inside and get our party on!" They leave and I watch them walk towards the music. Then T Bone looks back at me and smiles. White Chocolate says " I saw that! Whew! Its on like popcorn!"

Stay tuned for Slasher The Origin Part 2

Broken Wings

Shawnla said to me once " Why do you feel the need to rescue me. I have been doing fine without you all these years. I didn't need you then and I don't need you now " That statement felt like a slap. It stung so much that I had to really put some deep thought into what she said. Why did I feel the need to rescue her? Then Slasher says to me " Why you acting so surprised. Its not the first time a woman has said that to you. Slish wake up! These women are not the problem its You!

Bloggers can I tell you a little secret. I'm attracted to women whose wings have been broken to the point where they can no longer fly without wincing in pain. I rememeber when I was in preschool there was this little girl who cried all the time. I was so drawn to her. I would sit down , pull her close to me and caress her cornrow braids until she stopped. In elementary most of the girls I liked came from broken homes or were adopted. When I hit my late teens the first woman I truly fell in love with had a father who was abusive to his family, a fulltime drug dealer, and was murdered by his best friend over money! She had issues till THIS DAY I shrug my shoulders at the thought, but I loved that girl would have married her if she hadn't cheated on me.

Now i'm thinking could this be a learned behavior? I mean where could I have possibly picked up this bad habit that has caused me to be single, childless, and a serial monogamist for most of my adult life. I mean my mom married the only man she has ever loved, most of my aunts and uncles are happily married to stable individuals with no emotional baggage. Then why am I so attracted to these broken women!

Yesterday I'm having a conversation with my coworker Bright Eyes. She's 23, a single mother with a four year old daughter. " Bright Eyes whats your degree in? " She responds with attitude " Why you asking" I respond " Its obvious I find you very intelligent and that intelligence had to come from somewhere" Bright eyes facial expression softens " Well Mr Slish I almost didn't go to college. My mother told me I wasn't going to be nothing but a single mother with no future. It made me so angry! I registered for college that DAY! I was 2 months pregnant at the time. First I got my associates then I went on to get my Bachelors in healthcare administration. " I smile because i'm starting to have an epiphany " How did you manage to graduate on time and still raise your baby without the support from your mother. " Bright Eyes takes a deep breath and sits down in the chair in front of me " It was hard. I went to school from 9am to 3pm came home spent time with my daughter from 3:30 to 5:30 then went to work at Pathmark from 6:30pm till 1:30 am. I did that for 4 consecutive years"

THEN IT HITS ME!!!! Women like Shawnla, Bright Eyes, even my ex Barneys all broken in someway, shape or form, but share 3 specific character traits. Strength, perserverance, and a FUCK YOU ATTITUDE !!! Those are the reasons for my fatal attraction. I'm not afraid of a strong woman as a matter of fact I crave it. Its just that I haven't figured out how to keep that last character trait from biting me in the ASS!!!!!

DNA

My life Blows, and the relationship game Blows. There is no happy medium. I realized something a looooong time ago, but refused to let myself believe it. In order to be a happy in any relationship you have to lie. Lie about the kind of person you are, Lie about your true feelings and Lie so that the person you are involved with can trust you. Ain't that some shit! A person has to lie to be trusted! What part of the game is that! I'll tell you. Its the part where you hold back your true thoughts from the person you love to spare their feelings, but by doing that you make matters worse because the truth will come out eventually. Giving them pause and causing them to never trust you again. Well. Thats what always seems to happen to me.

Shawnla " Little D's father called me yesterday" I respond " Oh yeah what did he have to say "
Shawnla" I didn't say to much to him. I just gave Little D the phone" I ask " So the conversation between them went well?" Shawnla " Well, I asked Little D what they spoke about and he tells me his dad said he gave me some money recently and that if he needs anything he should just ask me" I say " Really? So he's acting like the money he paid to get his ass out of jail for not paying child support was money he actually put into an account to help out with Little D." I'm thinking to myself this man is a piece of work. Shawnla continues " So babe today he calls again telling Little D that he wants to see him this weekend. Little D explained to his dad that he has plans but he'll check with me. I get on the phone and tell him that Little D has plans. His father proceeds to tell me when he was in court the Judge told him he had to follow the visitation agreement that was set up previously and this weekend is part of that scheduled agreement." I think to myself again. Man got a point. Technically it is his time to visit with his son. Even though he's been a dead beat dad for most of Little D's life the law is the law. The circus can wait. Tell Shawnla to offer those tickets to his daddy and let him take Little D instead.

Then I hear the Slasher " Don't you go and do something stupid" Slish " What are you talking about its the right thing to do" Slasher " Not to Shawnla she has put up with too much from that Loser. Telling her that Little D should see his father is the wrooooong idea." Slish " But if I don't say anything now it will probably come out later. Then she'll say i'm keeping things from her" Slasher " Sliiiiiiiish "

Shawnla finishes her last sentence with " He can't just pop up and say he wants to see his son because he paid me some MONEY! I'm not going to let him come in and crush his spirit by not showing up! I say " Babe why do you do that" Shawnla " Do what ? " I respond " Make decisions for Little D. All I hear you talking about is what you want. Has anyone bothered to ask Little D what he wants" Shawnla's tone changes " Why are you attacking me! " I respond " I'm not attacking you but Little D is old enough do decide whether he wants to see his father or not. Don't make that decision for h CLICK!!!!!! Did she just hang up on ME!!!!

Slasher " I told you to keep your fucking mouth SHUT!!!

Underdog

I think some part of my personality loves to create situations where individuals fail. It must have something to do with my underdog mentality. I am a firm believer that perserverance can conquer any obstacle, but sometimes I fail to realise the obstacle course may be a bit too difficult for the ill equipped. Nonetheless I will make a person believe they can fly.

Today I over hear the Temptress explaining to one of my staff members how she broke up with her boyfriend "He texting me talking bout he miss me and that he couldn't sleep last night! Guuurl lemme tell you I am too through with his non communicating ass. He always saying shit when its too late. Its okay though I'll be ALRIGHT! KNEW I shouldn't have wasted my time with no young nucca. "

With that bit of information I mosey on down the hall to find my homeboy Mr. Potential. He 's a young cat with a great future. I figure why shouldn't he get a shot at that ASS OF LIFE! I dip into my supervisors office located across the hall from where he was sitting. " Psst Potential Pssst " He looks up then looks over in my direction " What up Mr Slish" I put my finger over my mouth " Shhhh! Get yo ass over here" He gets up from his desk and walks over. I ask " When is your last day?" Potential responds " Next week. Why? I say " Boooooooooy do I have a going away present for YOU! " Potential starts laughing" Oh yeah " I smile and say " I just heard that Temptress broke up with her man." Mr Potential's eyes light up! " Say Wooooord" He quickly turns and starts heading for the door. I say" Wait youngblood! Not so fast! You need a plan." Mr Potential stops dead in his tracks, turns around and says " Plan??" I respond " The Temptress is a seasoned vet. You can't just spit any old game at her. Let a brotha help you with this " Mr Potential gives me a You about to get me in some shit look and responds " What you got in mind "


" First you're going to have to spend some money" Mr Potential rolls his eyes and starts walking out the door. I continue " Not much! Just enough to keep her interested. He stops, turns around and gives me his full attention again. "Do you want this chick for the long haul or short term pleasure." Mr Potential " Come on playa short term." I respond " Good answer cause a chick like Temptress will break you're 22 year old pockets into a million pieces" Mr Potential starts to get inpatient " C mon Mr Slish! Whats the plan! " I laugh and say " Patients Young Skywalker. Follow me" Potential and I calmy walk over to the Temptress office and stop at her doorway. " Hey girl. My man Potential here will no longer be working with us after next week. I think we should all get together and wish him farewell over some drinks" Temptress " You buyin" I respond " Ofcourse" Temptress smiles and responds " You just want to see me drunk " I smile and respond " Ofcourse " She looks over at her calender and marks the date down I say " I'll take that as a yes" Temptress smiles. Confirming my statement.

As we're walking down the Hallway Mr Potential looks over at me and says " How did you do that ? I respond " If I told you. You wouldn't need my help now would you"

Criss Crossed

I'll trust anyone upon first meeting them. Why? Because I don't know them well enough not to. So I'll generally believe anything someone tells me as long as what they are saying is reasonable. Over the years this philosophy has worked. I've acquired some really good friends and business connections, but the inevitable always happens. One of those friends will eventually abuse that trust. Making a fool out of you and themselves.

The year 1997 when Hip Hop lost its way and D.iddy decided it was okay to say " Yeah YeahYeahYeahYeah" in every single record he produced. Doughboy calls me at home " What up Slish." I respond " What da deal Fatboy" Doughboy laughs " I'm not fat just big boned " I say " Big boned, fat, pleasantly plump you still need a bra." Doughboy responds " Ooookay You got jokes today. Anyway I'm calling you about business" I respond" Business! I have a job that pays me pennies and i'm living with my parents. YOU have no job. What kind of business could We possbily have. " Doughboy laughs and responds " It just so happens Slish I finally found a job. " I say " Oh reeeaaaallly. Where? " Doughboy " Bedford correctional facility for women" I start laughing real hard. Doughboy" Whats so funny " I'm out of breath now I respond " You gonna fuck around and end up married" Doughboy " Why you say that? I start laughing again " Cause you like you're women DESPERATE! " Doughboy " Thats not funny Slish. Why can't you be serious for ONE minute." I stop chuckling and respond " I can be serious" Doughboy " No you can't " Me " Yes I can " Doughboy " No you can't" Me " Yes I can" Doughboy " No you THERE YOU GO AGAIN ! "

" Okay dude I'll behave. You do know that Bedford is in the boonies. How are you going to get there? Doughboy " Well I figured I would take the train, but I used all my savings to pay Corporate's mother the rent I owed. " I respond " HOLD UP!!! Corporate let YOU rent from his mother! Doughboy yells " SLISH FOCUS! I say " Okay Okay. You want to hitch a ride with me in the morning since I work in the next town over" Doughboy " Asshole if you knew what I was going to ask why did you put me through all of that! I chuckle and respond " You make it sooooooo easy. "

So every morning for the next month I picked Doughboy up, drove to my job and gave him my car so he could get to work on time. It was kinda cool. I had some company in the morning, Doughboy was getting his mack on with the Chained Heat prison population and I had a full tank of gas weekly. Then one Thursday afternoon I leave the plantation at my usual time and walk over to the area where Doughboy is supposed to meet me with my car. I get there and NOOOOO Doughboy. I give him the benefit of doubt and wait an extra 30 minutes. 1 hour later NOOOOO Doughboy. I start getting worried thinking the worst has already happened. Doughboy has probably smacked my car up and is lying in some emergency room! So I hop on the train.

I get to the Whiteplains train station and called my pops. " Slishy what happened to your car? Why are you calling me from the train station" I say in a jamaican accent " Damn Bwoy tek weh mi car. " Pops responds" Who?" I respond" I've been letting Doughboy drive my car to work for the past month, but today he didn't pick me up" Pops " Slishy what I tell you about trusting people" I respond " YeahYeahYeah can you come and get me ? "

10 minutes later my pops drives up, I get in, he pulls off. " Dad do me a favor drive by Corporates mothers house. Pops asks " What for?" I respond" I just want to see something" My dad makes a quick turn onto Corporates mothers street. As we get closer to her house I see my car parked in front. I whisper to myself " Muthafucka" My dad looks over at me " Slishy isn't that your car." I respond " Yup" Pops" You want to stop and get it" I respond " Nope" My pops looks at me puzzled, but he keeps on driving.

Pops pulls up to our driveway. I hop out the van and quickly walk into the house. I pick up the phone in the kitchen and call Corporate at work " Yo. Was your mother home today?" Corporate responds " Nah. The only person home today was my sister." I say " Quick give me the number to your house." I hang up then pick up the phone and call. His sister picks up. " KK its me Slish how long has my car been parked in front of your house. " KK responds " You mean the light blue integra" I respond " Yeah " KK " All day. Why? " MUTHAFUCKA!!!!!!! I hang up the phone and call Corporate back " My man. I Think you should call the police and tell them to go to your moms to prevent an assault. " Corporate " What happened?" I respond " Your boy took my kindness for weakness. So now I'm going to kindly bust his weak ASS! " Corporate " Slish chill don't do anything stupid. Promise me you won't go over there! As a matter of fact wait until I get home. So we can find out what really happened" I rub my head, clench my teeth and bite the bottom of my lip " Aight "

1 hour later Corporate picks me up. On the drive to his house he attempts to lighten the mood " So Doughboy played you" I look at him and respond " You think this shit is funny! I bet if it was you! All of Doughboys shit would be laying on the side walk! Corporate " Why you so angry. Its not like he smacked your car up. " I respond " Corporate its the principal! I go out of my way to make sure another Brotha stays employed and he turns around and does exactly what these Saltines been doing to us for years" Corporates says " And whats that? " I yell " HE FUCKS ME OVER!!! This is the very reason why black folk can't get ahead. You lend us money we take forever to pay it back or not at all, You find us a job we show up everyday for the first pay period then decide we need a two week vacation. I lend Doughboy my car to get to work he decides its too much work to come and get me! When are WE going to start taking responsibility for our actions! Now Doughboy has lost another soldier in this struggle we call life! " Corporate asks " What The hell does that mean? " I respond It means I will NEVER EVER do any more favors for him as long there is breath in these lungs"


We pull up in Corporates driveway. Doughboy is outside waiting for me. I get out of the car he tosses me my car keys " Slish my grandmother wasn't feeling well so I left work and drove her to the Hospital. I've been in the Emergency room all day" Now he's adding insult to injury by lying! I calmly respond " Doughboy don't say anything else. " Doughboy to dense to pick up on my fuck you vibe says" So we cool. You'll be here to get me in the morning right? I respond " Yeeeeeah I'll be here briiiiight and early"

Lesson : Never burn a bridge you haven't crossed.