The Action Pack

Tuesday morning i'm sitting at my desk trying to forget I turn 37 on Sunday. I check my yahoo email. I get a message from Pheonix asking me if i'm having a b-day party this weekend. I told her no the first time. Guess she ain't got nothing to do maybe she was hoping I would change my mind since she sent the first email last friday. I respond " You know what!!!!..You can't read!!...lol Didn't I tell you I wasn't doing anything ...lol....Anyway I will be at The Den this Saturday 9pm with the fellas I reserved a table for 10...You can come through if ya want..and there is a party in New Rochelle later that evening at The Radisson Hotel.. Some Chick I know from back in the day is having a big B-day bash. Should be nice..I believe its free( Figured I would mention that cause pheonix loooooves free shit) and open to the public...Thats where I will be getting my freak on later that evening. Pheonix replies "
What evea nukka. and don't be calling me cross eyed. You are the one who is crossed eyed. lol So you have a crush on Roycee?????????????????? :-) WTF. This woman stay in my business I respond " Blog Crush!!! There is a difference!!....and you are cross eyed."

Later that day I get a phone call from my best bud Phantom. " What a gwan my youth. I saw that you called me last night " I say " Yeah. Just wanted to let you know I was getting the The Action Pack together on Saturday Night for my b-day " Phantom laughing now " Action Pack? Whats the Action pack? " I say " You, Corporate America, Clipperman, Good and Plenty, Venom, Dough Boy, Spankinazz, The Scavenger, Face man , Bouncer , Shaft and yours truly Grand Master Slish" Phantom is laughing Hysterically " Slish how did you manage that " I respond " It wasn't hard. Once I announced no wives or girlfriends allowed they jumped at that shit. Niggas need a break from the blah blah blah sometimes" Phantom responds " I'll definitely be there"

Wednesday. I'm sitting at my desk wondering WHY!!!!! Do I still work here!!! My phone rings I pick up " Pt accts " Cat " You sooooound soooo professional. Why didn't you call me back last night" I respond " I did call you back. Just didn't leave a message" Cat " Why? I respond " Figured if it was important you would call me back which you evidently did." Cat responds " Whatever negro. Listen!!! You work in a hospital right ? I respond in a deeper voice " Yeeeees" Cat " I kinda got my self into a situation at my job and need to get myself out of it" I'm shaking my head. This chick always getting herself into some shit. I respond in a condescending tone " What kind of twouble are we in now Cat. " Cat responds " Its like this Slish. I told my job I have Lung Cancer" I pull the phone away from my ear. This woman has lost her f@cking mind!!! I respond " Cat you don't have Lung Cancer you have Sarcoidosis. Thats faaar from Lung Cancer" Cat responds" Slishy I know that . But theeeey don't know that. I respond " Only you would do some silly shit like that. " Cat says" Anyway i'm trying to get them to grant me a 2 month leave of absence" I respond" So what do you need from me." Cat says " I need you to help me fill out this disability form" I respond " Why don't you fill it out" Cat responds " I don't understand all that medical shit " I say" What makes you think I do ? " Cat starts laughing " You work in a hospital!!! If you don't know someone around must " I respond " Whatever Crackhead fax me the form. I'll see what I can do" Cat is going to hell with a rocket on her back for this shit..lol

This morning I'm sitting at my computer. My cell phone rings. I look at the screen. Its Chicago Brown " Yo i'm suprised you're awake " This nigga must have a crystal ball or something how does he know I was hanging out!!! I respond " How you know I went out last night? " Chicago Brown " Its my job to know what my movie producer is doing" I respond " Yeah Yeah yeah. You coming down to show me our latest project" Chicago Brown " Yup yup " I respond " Aight see you then

11 am Chicago brown arrives with about 10 Dvds. I Place one of them in my Dvd player. Title of our short Movie is Snitch. Hmmm. So far so good looks like we actually spent some money on this bad boy. Story line isn't corny thanks to yours truly and the cinematography is fantastic. Chicago Brown is one talented brotha.

Since I am so impressed with our efforts I will post it as soon as I figure out how to do that.

I'm out for now. Need to take a nap before I get into tonights festivities. The Action Pack together in one place can be extremely problematic. Gonna need all my energy.

Lime To The Coconut

There is one thing I HATE!!!!! but somehow get tricked into doing it at least one time a year. I HATE HATE HATE !!!!! helping m@thaf@ckas move. I thought I had all these niggas trained!!!! Don' t ask Slish to help you move SHIT!!!!! Why cause I HAAAAATE IT!!!!!

Good and Plenty asked me to help him move this past Saturday. I should have told him to go f@ck himself . He knows I HATE THAT SHIT!!!! I rather give an African money to hire a mover than pick up their old ass furniture or boxes full of books they've never read and ain't never gonna read. Moving turntables, trophy's & and broken down toys from the 80's. THROW THAT SHIT OUT BEFORE YOU MOVE!!!!!

After Good & Plenty, his boy Wookie and myself finish packing up the truck. Out of Curiousity I ask " Plenty does your apt building have an elevator ? " Plenty gives me this look like DAMN!!!! I was hoping he wouldn't ask me that and responds " Nope " I give Wookie a we've just been F@CKED look and say " Yo Wookie this tricky nigga done did it to us again. " Wookie asks " What you mean Slish ? I say " M@thaF@cka got us to say yes before we could ask any details. That explains why Good and Plenty's ass hung up so damn quick after I agreed to help him. " I admit Good and Plenty got me, but I always have a plan to get out of shit. Thats why Slish made an appt to see his therapist at 5:30pm and she lives waaay out in brooklyn, therefore I will have to leave Yonkers between 4 and 4:30pm. I say " You tricky baby daddy if it wasn't for those pretty little girls your wife pushed out. I would have left you and your furniture right here at the storage Facility. Beeech ass Neeeega!!!! You have me until 4:30 pm then i'm out. I have an appt. Good and Plenty asks " With Who? " I say " THEEESE NUTS!!!!! now lets get the rest of your outdated shit on the truck.

4pm most of Good and Plenty's furniture is in his new apt. Time for me to make an exit. I say " Yo Plenty time for me to bounce" Plenty gives me this blank stare like he don't know what I'm talking about and responds " What do you mean? " I respond " Don't give me that look and you know exactly what I mean. DON'T USE YOUR KIDS TO SUCKER ME INTO STAYING EITHER!!!! They been getting on my nerves all day. So it ain't gonna work. " Plenty " C mon maaaan can't you stay until 5pm so we can go back and get the rest of the furniture from my old place. " I say " Nope cause there is no waaaaay in hell!!! your going to be able to go to the bronx, pack all that shit up and get back here by 5 pm. You must think i'm slow. I'm OOOOOUUUT!!! See ya Bitches!!!


I get to Dr.O's office promptly at 5:30pm. Dr O" How are you Mr Slish. How long has it been ? I respond " Probably a year " Dr O " Has it been that long? I thought you ran off and got married" I respond " No Dr O i'm still single and doing dumb shit." Dr O " Slish have a seat and tell me whats been going on" I sit down grab some candy out of a glass bowl and say " Well Dr O since our last session i've been all over the place. My quest for finding a wife has lead me into all kinds of different directions. I was making no progress and wasn't even close to the goals you set for me a year ago. Just when I was about to give up. I met a woman. " Dr O " Oh really whats her name " I say " Barneys " Dr O " Whats so special about her." I say " I don't know. My heart just took to her spirit. We have nothing in common but when we're together I feel like a crobar couldn't pry us apart. I can't explain it. Dr O "Thats usually how it works " I say " Oh i'm not finished. When things got a little rocky I up and break up with the girl on Valentines Day." Dr O " Mr Slish why did you do that. How did that make you feel" I say " At the time I thought it was the right thing to do. But as the weeks passed my heart was saying something different but my alter ego THE SLASHER wouldn't let me call her. Something about pride. " Dr O " So how did you resolve this situation " I say " Oh i'm getting to that. Once I was able to override the Slasher I made the call. Turned out she felt the same way, We had dinner and now she's my cuddle muffin all over again" Dr O " So what your saying is you've fallen for this Barneys " I respond " Fall, trip, jump in front of a bullet Whateva !!! I don't want to be apart from her. My heart can't take it."

10pm I arrive at Barneys apt with Scrimps , fried oysters, dvd, and a bottle of Pre Mixed Mudslide. Sing along now " Im gonna watch her t.v, we gonna play her cd's, I'm gonna be on you, you gonna be on me " WE about to get our FREAK ON!!!!!

Once we're done eating Barneys decides to take a shower. WE GONE GET OUR FREAK ON!!!!!! When she's done she goes into her bedroom and locks the door " Huh!!! we not gone get our freak on . 5 minutes later her room door opens slightly. Barneys sticks her leg out. Attached to the bottom of it is a BLACK STILETTO!!!! . WE GONE GET OUR FREAK ON!!!!! She opens the door all the way. My whole body went numb . This woman had on lime green Victoria Secret coochie shorts with the bra to match. Oh!!! and it was transparent. Long story short " I put that Lime to this Coconut and woooorked it alll ooout !!!!!! "

Who's Right Is It ?

1988 I was in love with a sex vixen. Her name T Bone. Back then my slasher persona hadn't surfaced yet. I was innocent and inexperienced. T Bone taught me things about a womans body that turned me into a weapon of pum pum destruction, but those lessons came with a hefty price tag.

"Slish i'm pregnant " I respond " WHAT!!!! HOW!!! T Bone " Slish!!!!!" I say " Okay Okay that was dumb but what we are going to do!!!! T bone teary eyed " Well what do you want us to do ? I respond" We're too young we can't handle this now. " T Bone " But Slish my sister had her son when she was 16 " I respond " And you say that to say What!!!! Your sister has no job, 24 yrs old and looks like she's 40, Can't go back to school because she can't afford a baby sitter your nephew doesn't even know his father , THAT'S THE LIFE YOU WANT!!!!
T Bone crying now " N N No "

2 weeks Later. I pick up T Bone from a clinic in the city. I help her into the car. On the way home she's crying and won't stop. I pull the car over, grab her face, look her in the eyes and say " You will never ever have to go through something like this again. I don't care if I get you pregnant a second time.You will not get another abortion. " T. Bone sobbing " I love you Slish " I hug her and say " I love you too " Our relationship grew stronger after that day. I vowed to myself if T Bone got pregnant by me again. I would be a daddy at 20.

A year later . T Bone and I had broken up for a short period then got back together. One day she calls me at home " Slish can you pick me up from this address? I respond " Sure " I leave my house in Westchester and head for the Bronx. I pull up in front of this building and my Slish sense starts to tingle . T Bone see's my car , comes walking out the building very slowly like she was in some pain. She gets in. I say " What is this place and why are you here? T Bone starts to cry uncontrollably " I I I had another abortion " I say " WHAT!!!! You were pregnant and didn't tell me!!!" T Bone " Slish stop yelling at me !!! I found out when we broke up!!! I say " Why didn't you tell me ? I made a promise to you. Told you that this would never happen again. Unless " T Bone still crying " Unless what ? I say " Unless it wasn't my baby" T Bone " SLISH!!!!! I can't believe you just said that to me !!" I say " Then why would you do something like this without telling me after I made a promise to you. WHY!!!!!! " T Bone " I I don't know. Figured since you werent ready to be a boyfriend same thing would apply in regards to you being a daddy. So I made this appt " I respond " Well you thought wrong!!! That was not your decision to make it was ours. At that very moment I realized I influenced her/our first decision, Causing T Bone to deprive me not only of my right to know but my right to be a father.

Bloggers they are so many men that have gone through this very same scenario. When the choice of being a father is either forced upon them or taken away. What rights do men really have? You get a woman pregnant neither one of you is ready, She wants to keep it and does. Brotha stuck paying child support for the next 18 years. Flipside, She gets pregnant but does not possess the mommy gene. Brotha involved wants to have the baby terribly, but once again he has no say. Its not his body. She gets an abortion. How did this ever become soley the womans choice. Why has society forced men out of this equation.

Can't Let Go

I remember Clipperman told me last year sometime. " Slish your light is on" I respond " "What the f@ck are you talking about" Clipperman Your light is on man!!! I say " You been licking razor bump cream again ? " Clipperman " Naw. Check it. Its cold outside your only way to get home is a taxi, but every taxi that passes you has a passenger inside. Then a beat up nasssty looking taxi rolls up with its on duty light on, driver speaks no english and the back seat smells like shit, But its cold and you want to get home so you get in. I respond " Yeeeah" Clipperman says" Thats your love life right now. Any chick that you date you'll try and wife them. Why cause your light is on and your just trying to get home" I paused, scratched my head , and respond " SHUT THE F@CK UP!!!!! This from a man who chooses to only date baby mamas.


Friday morning I call Barneys " Good Morning " Barneys" Good morning to you too" I say " We on for this evening" Barneys" We sure are" I say " Great. Pick you up between 5 :30 and 6 pm look cute " Barneys responds " Don't I always " I respond " Always baby. See you then"

4pm my office phone is ringing I answer Shawnla " I see you've been busy " I respond " Excuse me ? Shawnla " Who made the first move " I respond " EXCUSE ME!!! Shawnla " So she pulled Danger out huh " I say " Oooh I get it. The only time you call my ass is when you sense new chocha around me. Your a funny gal. What can I do for you" Shawnla " Oh nothing read that post on your blog figured I would give you a call" I respond " Hmmm So my emails and text messages go unanswered but as soon as you read that you want to call me. Nice!!!!!! Shawnla" Listen I didn't call to argue . Just wanted to see how you were doing" I respond " I'm fine just trying to keep myself out of trouble " Shawnla " Slish do you know why I haven't been calling you ? I say " No, but i'm sure your going to tell me " Shawnla " I feel like your pressuring me sometimes" I respond " Pressuring you!!! How? Shawnla " Your actions" Heeeere we go with the bullshit I respond " Shawnla you've been going through a lot figured I would show you some kindness and support, but I guess you interpret that with me trying to get with you " Shawnla " Maybe you don't realize what your doing sometimes. I mean your clock is ticking right? " I respond " Whatever woman. Listen lets end this conversation. If you want to go through this trial by fire on your own. Fine. I'll respect that. You need me for anything you know where I am. Latuh " I hang up

5:30 pm I pull up in front of Barneys apt and call her " I'm here sweetie" Barneys " I'll be right down " 5 minutes later Barneys comes out of her building. My heart starts to beat really fast. She walks in front of the car. Now it seems like she's moving in slow motion cause my heart is beating even faster. She turns her head, looks at me and smiles. I quickly unbuckle my seat belt. Barneys opens the passenger door and gets in. Barneys says " Hiiiii " she reaches over to my side of the car and we embrace one another. I didnt want to let her go. She must have sensed that cause she hugged me tighter. 2 minutes go by then we decide to separate . As I'm moving my head back I look into those hazel eyes and something comes over me, but its not the Slasher!!! I missed this WOMAN!!!! didn't realize it till that moment. I pull her head gently towards mine, our lips touch , then our tongues start to dance the way they used to.


Our date ended at 12 midnite. You guys can fill in the blanks your damn selves!!!!


Grantlove HOLLA AT YO BOY!!!!!!

Can We Be Friends ?????

Slishy sometimes when two people are in a relationship. They can be unevenly yoked, but this doesn't mean they can't make it work. In order for it to be long lasting both parties have to meet somewhere in the middle. It takes time. Problem is your generation lacks patience. Direct quote from my pops Slish Sr.

I thought about what my father had said on my way home from work last night. Is it possible for two people to have nothing in common but still find common ground and build a life together. Then my mind flashes across Barneys. I haven't spoken to her since we broke up 2 months ago. Slish wanted to call but the Slasher kept saying " I'm having too much fun right now. I have too many things set up for you to go and f@ck it up by calling her" Slish " I miss her man " Slasher " SO!!! has she called YOU!!! Slish " No" Slasher " Has she sent you an email " Slish " No" Slasher " Then nigga WHY DO YOU WANT TO CALL HER!!!! Slish " I miss her. Just want to make sure things are okay. Its not like we had a bad break up " Slasher " Your an ass. When are you going to learn how to let things go " Slish " I'll do that as soon as you learn how to be more patient and understanding " Slasher " F@ck you !!!! Slish " Whatever i'm calling "

Barneys " Hiiiiiiii what a surprise. To what do I owe this pleasure " I respond" I just wanted to call and see how you're doing." Barneys " I'm doing fiiiiine i've been doing some freelance work with my company, I started reading my poetry again and you? Whats going on with you" I respond " Nothing really. Smacked my car up " Barneys says " I knooooow" HOLD UP!!!! she knows??? Oh SHIT!!! she's been reading the blog ! " I had a dream about you a few weeks ago and decided to take a look at your blog and see whats going on " I respond " Oh really. What else have you read " Barneys giggles " Oh just about everything " HELLL!!!!!!

Figured she would have stopped reading my blog since we're not together anymore. I respond " Everything ? Even the stuff about Shawnla? Barneys " Oh yeah how is that going " I respond " Well if you've been reading you should know how thats going. Listen. I called to say the reason why I have not called you since we broke up is because I needed time to process why things didn't work between us. I was very hurt and didn't want to say something to you I didn't mean" Barneys in this sweet understanding voice " Its okay " Thats when I broke down and said " Baby i've missed you. Despite what you may have read . I think about you daily. I'm out here doing all kinds of crazy shit trying to forget about what we had. Barneys " Slish its ooookay " I respond " Its not okay. I could have reached out to you sooner. Now can I can ask you a question? Barneys says " Yes " I ask " Why haven't you called me? " Barneys " I did call you" I'm puzzled cause not once did she call after the night we broke up. I say " When ? " Barneys " The night we broke up I called you to talk some more and you just dismissed me " Bloggers she did call me. I was so upset I rushed her off the phone. Barneys continues " Slish usually when a couple breaks up. The other party doesn't call them the same night. " She got a point. I respond " So your saying we could have worked this out? Barneys " Who knows, but if you had been more receptive maybe we wouldn't have broken up on Valentines Day " Whoa!!!!!

My stomach is in knots. I didn't expect to hear this. Figured I would call, say a few words , hang up and continue to let the Slasher ruin my love life, but For the next hour Barneys and I continued to have the conversation we should have had the night she called. I say " Barneys can I come and see you tonight? So we can talk " Barneys still in her sweet voice " No Slish" I deepen my voice just a little and say " C mon. I miss you I want to see you" Barneys giggles " No Slish and don't use that voice. I laugh and say " Okay we should at least have dinner" Barneys " Hmmmmm Okay I don't see why two friends can't have dinner" I say " Then its a date. So Barneys after hearing all of this i'm a bit confused and curious , but where do we go from here? Barneys responds " Only God knows that answer Slish "

To Serve and Protect

I remember the day she was born April 9th 1971. I was 2 years old. My mother brought her home and put her in the crib. I must of thought she was a new toy because I couldn't get enough of her. Back then she had to be heard. Cried so loud my little ass would run to her crib and say " Ooookaaay Its Oooookaaaay " grabbing her little toe while trying to calm my new favorite person down. I wasn't like most 2 years olds who got jealous when a new sibling was brought home. I embraced it. I had someone to finally play with , someone I knew I would have to protect.


Ten years later this newborn turned into a little a firecracker. She had big brains and an attitude to go along with it. I must admit I was a little jealous at first. Every grade I was in she would get there 2 years later, have the same teacher and do waaay better than I did. Hipping my parents to the fact I was a slacker and needed motivation. Which wasn't the case at all. She was just smarter than me end of story.

A year later she gets into her first fight. It was summer time. I was in the kitchen getting something to drink my Mom's ice tea was like gatorade. Anyway I hear this banging on my screen door " Slishy Slishy your sister Stughetto is about to get into a fight" OOOOH KNOOOW!!! Although Stughetto could hold her own with me in the house. I wasn't to sure about her actually having a street fight and winning. I dropped the Ice Tea half finished into the sink and ran out side.

Stughetto and this other little girl about her size are toe to toe. No punches thrown yet just a lot of pushing and shit talk Stughetto says " Im tired of you. WATCHA GONNA DO!!!" then a push. Other little girl " I'm tired of you too WATCHA YOU GONNA DO!!!!!" she pushes Stughetto back reeeeal hard. I see the tears welling up in Stughetto's eyes . Her scare tactic wasn't working and the other little girl was not backing down. Stughetto looks at me I yell out " Do what I been teaching you!!!! BOX HER!!!! BOOOOOX HEEEER!!!!! Stughetto's face gets serious and tight. She balls up both her fists. I yell out again " THATS RIGHT!!!! NOW SHOW HER WHAT YOU GOT!!!!! Stughetto yells out " HOLD UP!!! WAIT!!!! I'll be right back!!! I'm going in my house to get my boxing gloves" WTF!!!! Bloggers we didn't have any boxing gloves. The other little girl looking at me like I Thought So!!! I run behind Stughetto and go inside the house. She's on the couch crying. " Slishy I was scared" I didn't get mad that she embarrassed me in front of the whole neigborhood. Lotta kids saw what happened that day. Rumor was Stughetto had a lot of mouth but nothing to back it up.


When Stughetto and I would fight and i'm talking knock down drag out FIGHTS!!! My father would get soooo upset with me and say Slishy!!! Your not supposed to fight with your sister" My sister standing behind my pops sticking her tongue out at me. I would say " But Daddy she's always starting with me!!!!" Pops " Slishy she's your sister protect her" I followed my dads orders and let the neighborhood kids know immediately!!!! Despite what they heard . F@cking with Stughetto was like f@cking with me. Therefore Stughetto was able to run her mouth without any repercussions.

Today is Stughetto's B- day and I still feel the same way. F@cking with her is like F@cking with me. If someone says " Yo Slish!!! Stughetto just cussed me the F@CK OOOUT !!!!!" My response will be " You probably deserved it nigga!!!!

Stughetto I was placed on this earth to protect you. I don't care how old you get and how any boyfriends you run through. Its my job and no one elses

Love ya sis.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!!!!

Let Me At Her !!!!!

I don't know whats going on, but lately Mr Slish has been getting more attention than Flaaaavor Flaaaav. Ya know what!!! I take that back cause that ain't hard to do. The Women at my job have been giving me a lot of eye and lip service. Too bad they're either married, engaged or in commited relationships. Since i'm not the whore monger I once was and my old ass can't juggle the women the way I used to. I have decided to refrain from any flirting that might potentially get me into a horizontal position. But as usual The Slasher does not agree and has chosen a specific target for his own amusement.

9:15 Monday morning I get a message from Ms Claxy " Good morning Mr Slish just wanted to let you know it is your responsibility to make me smile today" SHIT!!!!!! I quickly delete the message before the Slasher wakes up. He usually lays dormant until noon. Since I believe in Black Love i've been avoiding Ms Claxy. Don't think her fiancee would appreciate my paw prints all over that beautiful ass.

11:50 am my office phone is ringing I pick up " Pt Accts Mr Slish" Ms Claxy seductively says " I love to hear you say that " I look at the clock Whew!! its not noon yet!!! Slasher is still dormant. Gotta make this convo quick before his ass wakes up I respond " Heeeeey its hectic over here. Can I " Ms Claxy cuts me off and says " Why have you been avoiding me? Thought I wouldn't notice ." I respond in this pimp juice voice " Sweetheart I haven't been avoiding you. Its been busy in my dept " HOLD UP!!!! Where the f@ck did that come from !!! I look at the clock ITS 12NOON!!!! THE SLASHER IS AWAKE!!!! " Talk to me baby whats the matter " Aww hell!!!! Ms Claxy " I kicked my fiancee out this weekend" Slasher responds " Why? What happened " Ms Claxy " He talks down to me constantly always trying to make me feel like i'm stupid and then I realized Hey!! this is my apt. I don't have to put up with that shit!!! So I put him out" Slasher " Really. " Ms Claxy " Hell yeah!!! When his ass came home from work I had his shit packed right by the door" Slasher " Whoa" Ms Claxy " Thats why I want you to come and have lunch with me today. I need some cheering up" She needs cheering up!!! What about that nigga!!! Slasher responds " Okay i'll order from the Japanese rest and have them deliver it to your building. Is 1pm good for you " Ms Claxy " Hmmm.. Yeah that sounds good I should be out of my meeting by then" She hangs up

I pull the Slasher to the side and say " Listen nucca don't be starting no trouble with that chick. You know her fiancee gonna be back in that apt before the end of the week. " Slasher qouting Positive K " What that got to do with me " I say " SHE GOT A MAN!!!" Slasher " I ain't trying to hear that G"

1pm I arrive at Ms Claxy's office, knock on the door , but no one answers. Maybe she forgot. So I leave the unit and head back towards the elevator. On my way I see Ms Claxy walking towards me with our food and smiling. We go back to her office and get our grub on. I say " So you speak to your man today" Ms Claxy rolling her eyes responds " I'm not calling him " I say" What if he calls and begs for your forgiveness" Ms Claxy " You obviously don't know my fiancee he can be very vindictive. He won't call me." then she sighs I say " You miss him huh" Ms Claxy " Hell no!! Just should have gotten some dick before I kicked his ass out . I'm so horny. Then Claxy reaches over me to put her empty containers in the garbage. On her way back she manages to grab my right thigh and starts to rub it. As she's rubbing my leg her hand is inching closer and closer to Danger !!!!! Slasher " LET ME AT HER NIGGA!!! GET OUT OF THE WAY!!! " Ms Claxy i'm easy . I don' t play hard to get. " Ms Claxy responds " No your not " Slasher responds " Yes I am. So if you don't want to end up bent over on your desk, breathing heavily, and whispering Big Daddy Slish in my ear I suggest you step away from Danger " She looks me in the eye, giggles and removes her hand from my thigh. I get up from the chair , pick up my case folder, place it in front of Danger and back out of her office door. Whew!!

4:50 pm Ms Claxy been on my mind all day. That shit in her office turned me on. The Slasher was not to be denied he calls Ms Claxy " Hey you need a ride home" Ms Claxy " Sure where should I meet you " Slasher " Lobby elevator "

My coworker needed a ride home so I dropped her off first. When she gets out of the car Ms Claxy says to me " Slish I don't feel like going home yet. Take me to that place your always telling me about " Slasher is playing her game now and says " What place ? " Claxy " You knooow" Slasher " My place? " Claxy " No that bar you always go to after work on Fridays the one you've been trying to drag me to. Lets go there" Its so easy being greezy I respond " I aims to please" I make a u turn and head for the highway.

We're in the G bar now. I order two Mango Mojitos. Fruity but deadly. Two of those can cause a woman to lick a niggas face. An hour later Claxy is feeling more ambitious . She lays her head on my shoulder and starts to caress my neck and chest. The Slasher returns the favor by rubbing her lower back with his left hand slooowly moving it down inside her pants EUREKA!!! Claxy's lips gently touch my face. I make sure not to turn around. If our lips and tongues should meet Slish might have a BLACK OUT!!!! causing The Slasher to take over completely I say " Time to go " We put on our coats, I pay the bill , and we leave the G bar.

On the way home Claxy and The Slasher decide to play a little slap and tickle. While i'm driving she pulls out Danger!!!! A few words are exchanged. I won't say what they were cause if I do that the ladies reading this post will consider me a braggart and I don't want my boy Venom to get a complex so lets just say shes even more curious now and wants to place Danger in her warm wet climate.

The Slasher has left the Building...

One Night Extravaganza

6pm Saturday evening. I'm looking in the bathroom mirror and rubbing my face. It feels so smooth. That new electric shaver is the shit!!! Closer shave without the irritation. Worth every penny.

6:30 pm i'm done admiring my clean shaven look. I Put on some casual Slish attire. My venue for the evening ? The new bowling alley in Harlem. Can you believe it people!!! Harlem has a bowling alley!!! Anyway Corporate is friends with the owner and was invited to the grand opening. He instructed me to get there early( 7 pm) and secure a prime location so we could meet some beautiful nubian sistas. He ain't the boss of me !!!! So ofcourse I leave at 6: 45 pm.

7 30 pm i'm in Harlem. I park the Substitute Batmobile in front of Harlem Nites building since she lived down the block from the alley. 2 minutes later I attempt to walk into the place and i'm greeted by 2 BOUNCERS . BOUNCERS!!!!! why does a bowling alley need bouncers!!! " Excuse me sir you're here for?" Oh HELL NAW!!!! don't tell me you have to be on a guest list to bowl!!!! I respond " I'm going to the bowling alley" Bouncer responds" Sir the bowling alley does not open up officially until Monday" I respond " Weeeelll why are all these people going in and out of the building" Bouncer " Private Party sir " Just like Corporate not to give me all the details. I take my cell phone out and dial his number he picks up " Whats up " I say " NIGGA THEY WON'T LET ME IN!!!!! Corporate responds " You just getting there? I respond" Yeah " Corporate says " Didn't I tell you to get there early!!! I respond " You ain't the boss of me!!! I got here when I could get here !!!! " Corporate " I'm right around the corner i'll be right there "

10 minutes later Corporate pulls up in the Rover blasting Mama Said Knock You Ooout, parks, and walks over . I give him a pound He says " Sit in the Rover while I go take care of this" YOU AIN'T THE BOSS OF ME!!!! I respond " Aiight" Corporate comes running back to the truck 5 minutes later and says " Aiight we good" We find a better parking spot and go in.

We're inside now. Hmmmmm. This is an upscale spot. Not a crack head in sight!!! Most of the patrons looked liked they were hand picked to be there. Corporate and I head straight for the bar. He meets and greets a few pretty ladies while I try and get the bartenders attention. I give Corporate a She's moving a bit too slow for me. I need a drink dammit!!! look. So we head over to the other side of the alley. Not only is there a lounge area but another Bar!!!! As i'm walking into that area I see my homegirl Churchmouse I point and give her a nod cause I didn't have time to stop and give her a proper hello. The Hennessy was calling a brotha. I get to the bar I ask Corporate " What you drinking." He steady looking uuuup and dooowwn the bar Aww hell!!! I say " Nigga they ain't got none of that fancy gasoline you like to drink PICK SOMETHING!!! " Corporate says" Coors Light " I say to the bartender "Coors Light and Hennessy straight up no ice"

Drink in hand I leave Corporate at the bar and walk over to Churchmouse and give her a hug. Churchmouse says " Whats with the new look " I respond" What you talking about" Churchmouse " When did you start shaving off your mustache" I respond " Shaved it off by accident one day and realized I looked younger without it so I never grew it back. Trying to bag me a young chick. You women over thirty got to many damn issues." We both start laughing Churchmouse pats me on my stomach and says " ooooooh you even lost some weight I think I feel a six pack" I respond " Think i'm playin. So how the fellas treating you" Churchmouse " Please same ol b.s. think i'm going to have to cut my latest love interest off. He's little bit too shady" I say " Shady how? Churchmouse" Lets just say he's into private pharmaceuticals" The Slasher says " You know its about time I took you on a date. Your going out with too many losers. Churchmouse responds " Oh really " Slasher responds" Thats right. Its time you learned how a man should really be courting you" Churchmouse says " Where you gonna take me ? Slasher responds " Don't you worry bout that " Corporate comes over and says " Yo ain't nothing in here for me lets head down to 40 40 " I hate that place but after 2 glasses of hennessy Slish will say yes to anything. Since Churchmouse didn't have a ride home I give her my car keys and tell her to park it in her neighborhood. Corporate and I head into Manhattan.

10 pm we're inside 40 40. We meet and greet a few more pretty ladies . Corporate finds qouting Jamie Fox "This Pretty Little Thang" I play Robin to his Batman and keep her friend busy while he gets his mack on. His Mission accomplished. Mine!?? Lets just say she took my number. Yall know what that means. We walk around the club looking for more targets. None spotted. I look at the time on my cell and say to Corporate " Time for us to go. I told my cousin Bowie I would meet him and his wife BB at the Harlem Grill" Corporate responds " Kewl" We leave

11:30 pm We pull up in front of The Harlem Grill , I call Churchmouse and ask her to meet me in front of the Restuarant at 12:15 am. We walk inside. I see a few familiar faces and head to the back of the restuarant. I notice Bowie, BB and their friends sitting in the corner. I walk over. BB jumps out of her seat and runs over and gives me a hug " Cousin Sliiiiiishy I miiissed you" She lets go , I look around the rest of the table OH SHIT!!!! Mrs Jones!!!! ( refer to my post Feb 6th post Me and Mrs Jones) and her husband is not present. Damn!!!! she still looks good can't believe she pushed 3 kids out that body. We make eye contact . She slides out of the booth walks over and gives me the tightest hug. Then she whispers in my ear " I'm getting a divorce "

Bloggers looks like my b day gift is coming early cause The Slasher heard that shit Loud and Clear.